Social workers are most dangerous: they think everyone is a child abuser. The following list is an excellent beginning: Above all else, do everything in moderation. The goal is progress, not perfection! Survival Tips for Significant Others (and Therapists Too) Although this article is addressed specifically to the significant people in the lives of those with DID--friends, family members, and therapists--it is also offered as a means of opening communication among the person experiencing dissociation and the people with whom they are in relationships. Knowing someone with DID can be rewarding, interesting, challenging, and at times downright frustrating. Friends comment that Lori's mood swings are confusing. They are never quite sure what to expect when they spend time with her. Marsha's partner says that one of the reasons their relationship is so interesting is because Marsha is multidimensional. There is never a dull moment. But, who are you? And how do you know who you are? You don't actually know you're who you think you are until you face resistance. In the podcast with Joe Rogan, Atlas talks about Mike Tyson and his place in history amount the all-time greats in boxing. Tyson is 0 and 5, Atlas says after some explanation. The logic is that there were 5 times where Tyson faced adversity, where he was actually in a fight, partially because of his incredible talent, there were only 5 occasions (to clarify, he wasn't certain of Tyson's actual record). When he faced someone who didn't care about his aura, who pushed back when he fought, he lost. That's when Atlas provides us with the gem above, A fight isn't a fight until there's some resistance, just like life isn't life until there's some resistance, without resistance it's just existence, it isn't living. Discipline is as much an aid to help you get to where you want to go as it is training to be able to endure the resistance in life with will inevitably present itself, and that you should want to experience.

It's in tribulation that you find out what you're made of, and you better not carry entitlement or weakness or softness into the battle because you will be exposed. Drug salesmen pushing the latest pills for hyperactivity like they were selling dope. Laboratory reps trying to get you to set everyone up for screening with the latest blood tests. Even psychological tests scored by computers. You really don't know who or what to believe. I see a lot of complainers. I just don't believe what they tell me. They are too soft, too weak. They can't tolerate any level of discomfort. You know, it has gotten so bad, I sometimes find myself daydreaming that I am no longer in practice but in some other field, not medicine. I told my kids: Don't, don't go into medicine. He admits that it can be a little disconcerting to walk into the house only to be greeted by a child in a thirty-year-old body. Yet he is quick to add, She is the person I married, and we will learn to work through it together. John's therapist admits that he never planned to treat DID patients, but over the course of his practice he has treated several. DID patients can be challenging, to say the least, but I think I have learned more about myself from my DID patients than from anyone else, he says. I have learned the importance of being fully present with a patient, and it has taught me to be more fully present with myself. BASIC COMMUNICATION A relationship with someone with DID is like any other relationship: you have to define your parameters. If it is a close relationship with a friend or family member, you need to decide how to deal with the dissociative symptoms. In some relationships, the participants try to pretend that the DID does not exist.

Usually, that simply serves to increase the stress. Know that there is no way out of the battle. There is only accountability. There is only fighting back. You won't bite the ear of an opponent to find a way out of the struggle, you'll dig deep and land a harder counter. You'll take a step forward into the fire and show the struggle that you're formidable, that you won't be broken, you will find a way to win. Prepare yourself for this inevitable difficulty that life thrusts into our lap at the seemingly worst time by waking up early, doing your push ups, running and training, lifting and suffering when you do not need to suffer at all. When life can be easy, find ways to incorporate pain. Find ways to bring more discomfort into your life because when the option for ease is gone, that training, that discipline is what you'll fall back on. Tough times are merely a part of life. Your problems are not unique. It has all changed. What they want is technicians or businessmen, not doctors. Let your readers hear what I have to say. Medicine is going down the tubes, along with the rest of society. I'm fed up with it. The Commoditization of the Healer Helen McNaughton is a thirty-nine-year-old psychiatrist in a very busy primary care unit, a freestanding component of a large West Coast health maintenance organization (HMO). A lively physician with high professional standards and smooth Southern grace, Dr McNaughton is debating leaving the HMO and opening her own office, because of her concern that the institutional structure works against good care for chronic patients. She spoke with a soft Mississippi accent and a slow cadence and slight stutter that I have not tried to reproduce, but which lent charm to her words and gave her images a striking effect.

Let's just consider care. It is akin to the pink elephant in the living room; Some people choose to accept the dissociation to the point that interaction with alters is a normal part of the relationship. In these relationships, the person with the DID might choose to switch in front of the other person and the other person will interact with whatever part is out. In other relationships, the DID is acknowledged, but the nondissociator does not normally communicate with parts and may not even know, at times, that they are present. He may observe switching, but he addresses the host and does not get overly involved with individual parts. Whether you interact with these parts is a decision that needs to be made between you and your friend or family member. There is nothing inherently wrong with communication with parts, but it is important that you not assume a caretaker role with the dissociator in your life. When a friend or partner does so, he runs the risk of becoming more like a therapist or parent. When that happens, the relationship becomes unbalanced and resentments can easily build. Whatever your relationship, it needs to be built on trust, clarity, and mutual respect within the context of adult communication. You are not the only one going through what you're going through, in fact, there are more people going through far worse. Put your head down and get through it, with discipline as your greatest weapon.When wishful, happy desires come to you, you can either purposefully sustain your focus, action, and discernment toward the vision, or use it as mind entertainment where the fun visions of possibilities come and go without any real power behind them. Another mode of wishful thinking is to occupy your mind with visions of wonderful things that you don't really believe can come true for you, so you don't put your energy of purposeful conviction with the vision. You zap your power with wishful thinking when you expect fleeting moments of ideas, without sustained focus and intention, will bring forth fulfillment of your desires. Hearing Your Inner Wisdom You may wonder from your reading so far whether your desires can be fulfilled through single inspirational nudges that connect you with what you want. Yes, they can. However, most of the time your desires will be fulfilled through a repeated series of these nudges. They will come one after another as needed, rather than all at once.

You will be able to connect with your wishes through your willingness to sustain your focus on what you want and follow one inspirational feeling after another. Now care is supposed to be what the doctor does. But well, care has become a commodity. It is a product of the HMO. They measure it, cost-analyze it, and market it. It can be overused or underpriced. You, the doctor, dispense it. Y'all must not provide too much of it. Yeah, the less, in fact, the better. If the patient gets to see you, having fought her way through an obstacle course of receptionists, nurses, social workers, psychologists, and physician assistants set up to protect you--the high-priced specialist whose care is expensive to the system--well, if the patient, after all that, if she gets to you (and really she just is not supposed to do that), why, then, the system has failed. Because we are supposed to keep patients away, not run up costs. Anyone who is involved in a relationship with someone with DID will experience a gamut of emotions. It is important to remember that two separate people are involved. The same boundaries apply to DID as to any other relationship, but it is not possible to be in a relationship with someone with DID and not be affected. The internal conflicts experienced by someone who dissociates will be noticeable to the people closest to her even if no one is able to name what is happening. The not naming might have to do with not wanting to deal with reality, but more often it is probably about not understanding what is happening. When internal conflicts occur for someone with DID, many things can happen. The experience can be as minor as a disagreement among parts (a sort of internal civil war that causes some confusion or mood changes) or it can become extremely chaotic, both inside and out. At such times, the person who is dissociating may be hearing so many voices inside her head that it becomes difficult to concentrate. She may experience several emotions at the same time as internal parts vie to be heard and take control.