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According to research conducted by the U. Census Bureau, nearly 24 million children in America (1 out of 3) live in homes where the biological father is absent. Furthermore, children with fatherless homes are 2x more likely to drop out of high school, 2x more likely to suffer from obesity and 7x more likely to be involved in a teen pregnancy. We're Not Getting Smarter. In an article posted by Michael Winter for USA Today, the College Board now shows that just 40% of the high school seniors met benchmarks for college success on average. These numbers haven't significantly changed nationwide for more than five years. Employees Aren't Engaged in the Workplace. According to a 2018 Gallup poll, 53% of employees are not engaged in the workplace. I think maybe he felt he deserved it. But all it did was offer me a very brief respite and no answers because I had no path, no direction to heal. And my ranting certainly didn't change his behavior. I would also tell people how awful he was. I once made him bring a coworker to our house so I could yell and rant and rave at her. Another time I went to a motel just to catch him in the act. I was screaming. Oh, I had the anger part down. I was like a spewing volcano, and looking back now I was screaming three generations of women's voices and three generations of anger for betrayal and abandonment--betrayal as the result of substance abuse, sex addiction, suicide, and being untrustworthy. For some partners, rage is homicidal. It used to be that our parents made sure we got enough movement in our days by sending us outside to play with friends, ride around the neighborhood on our skateboards and bikes, and do whatever the heck we wanted until dinner was ready. But in today's realm of helicopter parenting, when our kids aren't being pushed to a breaking point in youth sports, they're plonked down in front of a video game or one of the six TVs that have colonized most rooms in our houses.

As a result, we're taking them from one high-octane, stress-inducing environment into another. Far too many kids are missing out on the simple joys of creative, unstructured, and minimally supervised play. No wonder so many have attention and personality issues in childhood and serious emotional issues once they've transitioned into our Big Fitness, indoor-only, tech-dominated adult world. We owe it to the next generation to get them outside, unplugged and playing freely, as they should've been all along. Otherwise we're just perpetuating the issues of addiction, obsession, and technology dependence that we're trying to solve for ourselves. The Lie of Linear Progress In letting wearables convince us that we must incrementally do more, we've let ourselves be misguided about the nature of real progress. Any elite athlete on the planet can tell you there are days that they backslide in terms of performance, seem to be losing their grasp of a skill they thought they had down, and can't will their bodies to do what their minds know they're capable of. We Like it When People Get Hurt. As early as four years old, research has shown that toddlers experience Schadenfreude, the pleasure at another person's distress. In this same research study, children as young as six years old would rather spend money seeing an antisocial puppet being hit than purchasing stickers. We're Easy to Dehumanize. As early as five years old, we view out-group faces as less human than in-group faces. Basically, people who look differently than us are viewed less significantly. We're Ready to Blame Others for Our Faults. Studies done in 2019, identify that to save face when things go wrong, people will sometimes shift blame away from themselves by bringing attention to external causes. We Don't Like Thinking. Or, At Least, Men Don't. Stories of murders and threats are common news. Many years ago Lisa Nowak, an astronaut, drove nine hundred miles with a diaper on so she didn't have to stop en route, totally focused on intending to confront, kidnap, and possibly kill the lover of her lover.

Many women do not make the headlines, but their rage is just as destructive. Women have killed or attempted to kill their partners, attempted to throw their partner out of a moving car on the freeway, poisoned their partner's drink or food, sabotaged a partner's parachute, and hired others to commit murder. Sometimes women have burned down their house or removed their partner's belongings and set them on fire. Many betrayed women are empathetic to Lorena Bobbitt's behavior and certainly at least have fantasies of cutting off their partner's penis. Only a small percentage of betrayed women actually act out their fury violently. More prevalent are homicidal thoughts and moments of fantasy that plot revenge. When you are in a rage, there is a temporary suspension of believing your behavior is wrong. This gives you the perception that what you are doing is defending yourself. Much as we might want it to be, life is not linear, and neither is our health or fitness. Sometimes we're fighting a cold, trying to repair the damage from an injury, or dealing with a difficult situation at work. These and hundreds of other scenarios, many of which are outside of our control, mean that each day our well-being is a moving target. This is why we're better off trying to gauge our mood, energy levels, and enthusiasm and adjusting our activity, sleep, and nutrition accordingly, instead of relying on the blanket recommendations of an app, which takes none of these factors into account because they cannot be quantified. So the more we can get in tune with ourselves, the better off we'll be in the long run, even when that means a long run is out of the question. Finding Your Vitality Age When you go to the doctor for an annual physical, they have a very limited amount of time to try to assess multiple areas of your health, and so they rush through a battery of rudimentary tests that haven't changed in decades. If they find that a level is too high or low, they typically give you very generic and nebulous information about the issue and what to do about it. So if your LDL ( bad) cholesterol is too high, your physician might tell you to eat healthier. Or if your BMI is above average, you might be advised to exercise more. We are Moral Hypocrites. In one study, researchers gave people the choice between two tasks, an easy one and a hard one.

When they choose a task, the other participant is forced to do the other one. The participants thought it was unfair and selfish when the other participant chose the easy task. But, when they chose the easy task for themselves, they didn't believe this was morally objectionable. The study defines this as `moral hypocrisy,' a phenomenon in which individuals judge their own transgressions to be less morally objectionable than the same transgressions enacted by others. We Become More Disconnected as We Gain Stature. A psychologist from Berkeley, Dacher Keltner, conducted research that suggests that as people rise through the ranks, their ability to maintain personal connection suffers. The same psychologist also found that people who have power suffer deficits of empathy, the ability to read emotions and the ability to adapt behaviors to other people. We Don't Empathize With Each Other's Pain. While some people see rage as the behavior of acting out intense and deep anger, I perceive rage as a holding tank, not just for anger, but also for the embarrassment, the humiliations, the fears, and the sadness. Of course you are feeling all of those feelings. There is no doubt you have many reasons to be angry at him: his betrayal of your trust, his disregard for your relationship, the impact of his behaviors on the family and on your health, and the ineffectiveness of loyalty you have shown him in the face of the betrayals. You may be thinking you have wasted a lot of years of your life with him. Or perhaps you are feeling doubly betrayed because of all the years you knew about his behaviors but stayed with him, only to have him walk out once the kids were raised or after you put him through school or after you took care of his sick parents. Maybe your rage comes from feeling trapped, perhaps because you're financially dependent on him or maybe he's your ticket to a green card that allows you to stay in the country or you don't know how you'll raise your kids by yourself. The intensity of your feelings is understandable. The key to greater health is finding the settings in which to express them. Betrayal hurts. It hurts more deeply than anything you have ever known. The shortcomings in such testing and the intangible, nonspecific recommendations that follow prompted Frank Merritt and his partners at VitalityPro to look for a better path to true health. After wading through mountains of research and consulting with specialists as diverse as physical therapists, behavioral psychologists, and nutritionists, they came up with a seven-part health screen founded on evidence-based best practices.

The VitalityPro screen assesses cardiovascular and pulmonary health, mobility, body composition, and muscular fitness and assigns a relative age for each. Twenty is ideal and eighty is the worst score. The assessment then aggregates the category scores to generate an overall vitality age. Individuals are then given protocols to improve on the areas in which they're lacking. Certain aging factors can't be controlled (such as those related to genetics), but the VitalityPro team believes that many are correctable and can be improved through targeted health interventions that don't involve pharmaceuticals, surgery, or any of the other drastic measures that are often prescribed when a doctor finds a patient to be in pain or deficient in some area. By identifying detrimental factors that are aging people beyond their chronological age, Frank, Brandon, and their team are able to improve quality of life and remove roadblocks to overall well-being. Once someone's health is better, then they can build fitness and performance on a sounder foundation. The VitalityPro team uses technology in the diagnostic stage and, where necessary, as educational tools that help people better understand the link between what's happening in their body and how they feel. Rachel Ruttan, a researcher and psychologist from the University of Toronto, describes her conclusions about people's empathy for each other. She writes, We found that people who have endured challenges in the past (like divorce or being skipped over for a promotion) were less likely to show compassion for someone facing the same struggle, compared with people with no experience in that particular situation. Rachel and her researchers also found that, people who had overcome a period of unemployment in the past were less compassionate and more judgmental of the man than people who were currently unemployed or had never been involuntarily unemployed. Four Key Reasons For This Reality Do these 25 reasons really illustrate how our society is collectively, pathetically apathetic? Yes, because if people just took the patience and the time to think about their lives and improve themselves, you wouldn't find such negative realities about our world. People would choose to not get married or have sex, alleviating children from starting on the wrong foot in life. People would actually be wise and save their money so they wouldn't feel obligated to steal from businesses. People would work to advance and prosper, rather than simply get by. More people would actually be engaged in the workplace, even if it isn't their dream job. But the act of rage will only hurt you in the long run. It's healthier to find something constructive to do with that rage: pound pillows or rip newspapers, scream from the top of a mountain, or write a venomous letter you don't mail.