As you read through each article of Logged In and Stressed-Out you will learn How to deepen virtual relationships and boost IRL relationships How our attachment style impacts our attachment to devices, technology, and social media How to turn negative feelings resulting from social-media use into opportunities for emotional growth and personal development Varying degrees of student freedom were permitted. The behavior of the instructors varied. Perhaps the only possible generalized description is that, as compared with the conventional college-level lecture course, there was much greater permissiveness and freedom, and much more reliance upon the ability of the student to take responsibility for himself. As further studies are carried on, the objective description of the classroom climate and of the instructor's behavior seems a necessary starting point for any investigation. A Concluding Discussion Much of present education appears to be operationally based on the assumption, You can't trust the student. Acting on this assumption, the teacher must supply motivation, information, organization of the material, and must use examinations - quizzes, recitations, oral exams, course examinations, standardized achievement tests -- at every turn to coerce the student into the desired activities. The approach we have been discussing is based on an assumption diametrically opposed, that You can trust the student. You can trust him to desire to learn in every way which will maintain or enhance self; If the instructor accepts this assumption or is willing to adopt it as a very tentative hypothesis, then certain behaviors follow. Most of us carry a basic sense of inadequacy--that we're not good enough, that others will see this, that we'll get rejected, and most deeply, that we won't be loved. If we can accept our feelings, we can better examine their veracity and how best to manage them. So how do you undo the grip of fear? First, it's helpful to honor why the fear is there. Think of fear as your friend, one who intends to keep you safe and protected. Fear is good--you just need to learn how to listen to and manage the insight your friend offers.

Next, recognize how much suffering comes from not acknowledging the fear that's there. That helps motivate us to stay with our fear. Start by noticing the fear and just recognizing that you're avoiding it. I've got a friend who hasn't spoken to me in months. Why and how social media and technology can exacerbate an existing mental-health issue How to cope with loss and breakups in the digital age How to minimize virtual conflicts, virtual misunderstandings, and after-posting regrets How to cultivate mindfulness in the digital age and How to strike the perfect balance between the virtual life and actual life and why finding balance is important for our well-being and relationships. So let's get started! Please note--the case vignettes you will be reading throughout this article are composites and not based on an actual person. Any details resembling a particular person are completely coincidental. Philippe Verduyn et al. Neil Petersen, How Social Media Influences Offline Behavior, AllPsych (blog), March 31, 2017, https://blog. He creates a classroom climate which respects the integrity of the student, which accepts all aims, opinions, and attitudes as being legitimate expressions of the student's internal frame of reference at that time. He accepts the feelings and emotionalized attitudes which surround any educational or group experience. He accepts himself as being a member of a learning group, rather than an authority. He makes learning resources available, confident that if they meet the needs of the group they will be used. He relies upon the capacity of the individual to sort out truth from untruth, upon the basis of continuing experience. He recognizes that his course, if successful, is a beginning in learning, not the end of learning.

He relies upon the capacity of the student to assess his progress in terms of the purposes which he has at this time. He has confidence in the fact that, in this atmosphere which he has helped to create, a type of learning takes place which is personally meaningful and which feeds the total self-development of the individual as well as improves his acquaintance with a given field of knowledge. SUGGESTED READINGS A comprehensive overview of the relation between psychotherapy and education is given in the article by Symonds (208). I assume it's because she didn't follow through on something she committed to, knew how important it was to me, and felt horrible about disappointing me. That she couldn't follow through makes sense to me. She's overwhelmed with survival needs--working long hours to support her family and caring for several kids. Yet she doesn't give herself a break. Instead of having compassion for her own hard situation and accepting that she can't do everything she'd like to in order to help her friends, she feels inadequate and ashamed that she can't be the person she wants to be. By avoiding me, she can avoid seeing the disappointment she imagines that I feel and thus avoid her feelings of inadequacy. Yet I imagine this keeps her up at night, triggering a deeper shame because now she blames her bad behavior on the fact that she's a bad person, and has a concrete story that, at least in her mind, affirms this for her. By trying to avoid the discomfort of disappointing me, she is experiencing much more pain than if she had just allowed herself to lean into the fear. The next step to managing fear is acknowledging how normal it is. When I see fear come up, I can just say, Oh yes, I'm human. Pew Research Center, Social Media Fact Sheet, Internet & Technology, June 12, 2019, https://www. Attributed to Sigmund Freud. Building Relationships in the Digital Age How bold one gets when one is sure of being loved! There's no doubt that our relationships are front and center in determining our emotional and physical health. We thrive when we have close, long-term relationships and mutually supportive friendships.

Having positive relationships lengthens our life span, boosts our immunity, and improves our emotional well-being. Since the advent of the iPhone, social media, and apps, however, the ways in which we go about nurturing and tending to our important relationships have forever changed. Whereas only a few years ago we communicated personal news via phone conversations or actual in- Think about the last time you shared something about yourself with your friends. It contains a thoughtful analysis of the two fields and their basic similarities and basic differences, as seen by a writer with experience in both fields. It also contains an excellent bibliography of references pertinent to this article. For the reader who wishes to gain acquaintance with recent presentations regarding education which are similar to the client-centered point of view, Cantor (39) and Kelley (100) are good references. For presentations of the client-centered point of view in education by other writers, see Snygg and Combs (200, articles 10 and 11), and Axline (14, articles 16 and 18). Both these studies are focused primarily on education below the university level, with Axline's discussion bearing primarily upon the child's first years in school. She also discusses the application to school administration. For acquaintance with the limited research in this area, the study by Faw (55), which has been mentioned, seems to be the most adequate to date. From what we know of the extent of personal distress and maladjustment, and the social demand for assistance along these lines, we must judge the problem of professional training for counselors and therapists to be an urgent one indeed. Yet little has been written, and even less research done, on the issues which are involved in setting up and carrying through such a program of professional education. This dearth of data is not due to any lack of recognition of the importance of the field. We're all working on it. This helps me sit with it, knowing it's just a fact of life to manage. Next, it helps to insert a pause for reflection, before you get hijacked into reactivity. Stop running. Face your fear. If we can learn to pause, if we can slow down even a little and be with each other, we can shift from fight-or-flight to tend-and-befriend.

This is our evolution. Stay in that vulnerable state. Offer tenderness and compassion to the hurt place in yourself. That's much better than focusing on why you're so messed up. It is likely you sent a text, posted a status update on Facearticle, uploaded pictures on Instagram, or sent a Snapchat. Many psychologists--myself included--question whether or not today's whirlwind of connectedness through technology and devices has actually left us feeling more disconnected and emotionally empty than ever. In my practice, all too often I hear people say, I have over five hundred friends and followers, but I still feel so alone. I never learned how to have a conversation in person or over the phone. I don't know what it's like to go out on an actual date! I'm afraid to talk to people IRL. It is likely that you, like many people, have had similar thoughts and have wondered what you can do about them. In this article, we'll take a closer look at these feelings and how changing our interactions with technology and social media can improve our relationships. You'll meet Mike, a millennial struggling with forming personal connections that go beyond just hooking up, and Jessie, who's having a virtual emotional affair with someone she hasn't seen or spoken with on the phone in over three years. The American Psychological Association, for example, has given its approval to a Recommended Graduate Training Program in Clinical Psychology, in which it is stated, It is our thesis that no clinical psychologist can be considered adequately trained unless he has had sound training in psychotherapy (160, p. Similar attitudes prevail in other professional fields. As yet, however, experience in this realm is limited, and discussions are few. As a consequence of this situation, the present article will be written, without apology, around an account of the development of the writer's own experience in carrying responsibility for the training of therapists. Perhaps a frank look at some specific methods which have been used, with their strong and weak points, will lead to similar presentations by others. ANEARLYEXPERIENCE INTRAININGCOUNCELORS