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When you develop the mindset of doing everything the right way and to the best of your abilities, no matter how small, it changes your life. You no longer accept second-rate efforts and results from yourself and others. It permeates every area of your life and you become a more solid, squared away, and structured person. What you do and the way you do it communicates everything happening in your mind and how much you have it together. It communicates your values, lifestyle, and how much effort you put into yourself and goals. If you do little things the right way, you automatically do big things the right way. If you're putting a new trash bag in your trash can, it can still be done the right way. If you're making your bed, even though you're going to mess it up when you get back in it, it can still be done the right way. If you put your shoes away, you can still take 5 seconds to make sure they're neat, orderly, straight, and the right way. I keep between 30 and 60 bottles of water in my kitchen cabinet and when I put them in there, the labels face the same direction, they're tightly together, and in perfect order. Even though they're hidden and going to be consumed and thrown in the garbage, it doesn't mean they can't be stored as neatly as possible. It's the principle that counts. Again, nothing is too insignificant to be done to the best of your abilities. These rights are a way to get you thinking about how you value yourself. Alongside rights are also the responsibilities we have towards others. Assertiveness means respecting self and others equally. You do not have the right to infringe the rights of others and you give yourself the same rights you give other people. No one gets through life without having to face conflict situations. Most people dislike conflict but many of us make the situation worse by the way we deal with it. Anxious people often avoid conflict and then feel put upon or not valued.

Assertiveness skills provide you with a set of skills to deal with what is said so that you can verbally influence a positive outcome. Try to think about what you want and what you think the other person might want. See if you can give the other person something of what they want as this is more likely to make them amenable and get you more of what you want with the least amount of hassle. When the temperature rises and when you want something, emotions such as anxiety can get in the way. Strong emotions block the ability to listen and think - both of which are required if conflict is to be resolved without damaging the relationship. You are responsible for your own thoughts and actions. If you want to handle conflict assertively you need to ensure you make clear I' statements as a way of demonstrating your needs and wants. <a href=''>As</a> Graciela went home each week and put her new knowledge into practice, she began to see results. <a href=''>Her</a> son's behavior improved rapidly. <a href=''>Within</a> a few weeks, and with additional support from the social worker, Jaden's tantrums ceased altogether. <a href=''>He</a> began sleeping in his own bed all night, a huge accomplishment and a relief to his parents. <a href=''>These</a> parenting successes with Jaden had ripple effects throughout the family, easing tension between Graciela and her husband and reducing Graciela's anxiety. <a href=''>She</a> started to trust her instincts as a mother and experimented with ways to bring the concepts she was learning to other parts of her life. <a href=''>Brotman</a> and her team at the Center for Early Childhood Health and Development are partnering with the NYC Division of Early Childhood Education to bring ParentCorps to fifty pre-K programs and have plans to help families create safe, nurturing, and predictable environments in the classroom and at home in three hundred additional programs. <a href=''>All</a> told, their 1,850 programs serve seventy thousand children annually. <a href=''>Your</a> conflict with a person may be about one issue or it may be about many issues. <a href=''>You</a> might find you have bottled things up and that there is a danger of too many subjects being talked about at the same time. <a href=''>Successful</a> conflict resolution means dealing with one subject at a time. <a href=''>This</a> means making a list of all the things you want to talk about and then deciding which one to discuss first. <a href=''>A</a> second example is the enduring program Big Brothers Big Sisters, operating since 1904. <br /><br /><a href=';'>Their</a> tagline is "Millions of children need a caring adult role model," which seems to me to be a modest underestimate. <a href=''>Their</a> theory of change is that the regular presence of a caring adult is a powerful antidote to youth engaging in risky, even dangerous, behaviors, and to keeping their focus on school and healthy relationships. <a href=''>Big</a> Brothers Big Sisters seeks out youth at risk: those living in foster care, in dangerous neighborhoods, and in homes riddled with domestic violence or drug use, and these already having encounters with the juvenile justice system. <a href=''>These</a> are kids apt to be swallowed up by the chaos and destruction of the environments they live in, through no choice of their own. <a href=''>The</a> youth are not only attached to their big brother or sister, but are also exposed to art, music, sports, education, and community organizations where contribution is the prevailing ethos for them to learn. <a href=''>These</a> are but two of many examples of how prevention and early intervention can keep so many youth from lives of disruption, addiction, incarceration, and despair. <a href=''>Expressing</a> a similar thought, the great poet Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz - a cloistered nun who lived and wrote in Mexico during the 1600s - once addressed a poem to "Melancholy Thought." In the poem, she argues with her own melancholy, expressing the wish that she could stop overthinking her problems. <a href=''>To</a> use our contemporary language, Sor Juana is expressing the hope that she might be able to stop ruminating. <a href=''>She</a> writes: "Let my understanding at times/allow me rest a while,/ and let my wits not always be/ opposed to my own advantage/ [...] Oh, if there were only a school/or seminary where they taught/ classes in how not to know/ as they teach classes in knowing." (Translation by Edith Grossman). <a href=''>Toward</a> the end of Thomson's poem, likewise, he refers to a classic sketch by the German Renaissance artist and printmaker Albrecht Durer, which depicts a seated figure who represents Melancholy embodied. <a href=''>Thomson</a> notes that the character in Durer's painting is surrounded by compasses and other instruments of "logical" deductive thought - otherwise known as ratiocination. <a href=''>This</a> shows once again that, as "irrational" as panic and anxiety may seem to people who have not suffered from these conditions, they have been linked throughout history - by those who have experienced them - to processes of logical thought. <a href=''>In</a> the movie Lone Survivor about Navy SEAL survivor Marcus Luttrell and Operation Red Wings, fellow Navy SEAL Shane Patton says, "Anything worth doing is worth overdoing. <a href=''>Moderation</a> is for cowards." He's right. <a href=''>If</a> you want to get your act together, you have to overdo it. <a href=''>You</a> have to become obsessed. <a href=''>UFC</a> Champion Conor McGregor says, "There's no talent here, this is hard work. <a href=''>This</a> is an obsession. <a href=''>Talent</a> does not exist. <a href=''>We</a> are all equals as human beings. <br /><br /><a href=''>You</a> could be anyone if you put in the time. <a href=''>You</a> will reach the top, and that's that. <a href=''>I</a> am not talented, I am obsessed." He's saying if you want to reach your goals, become the best, and get it together in any area of your life, you have to become obsessed. <a href=''>You</a> have to overdo it. <a href=''>You</a> have to put in more time and effort than everyone else around you. <a href=''>If</a> it's worth doing it, overdo it. <a href=''>Do</a> it better than anyone else. <a href=''>Become</a> obsessed with it. <a href=''>Learn</a> how to do it right. <a href=''>Make</a> it second nature. <a href=''>If</a> getting up early is worth your time, do it on your days off too. <a href=''>Do</a> it on the weekends. <a href=''>Do</a> it on the holidays. <a href=''>Do</a> it when everyone else is cutting themselves slack and giving themselves a break. <a href=''>Become</a> obsessed with getting up early so it becomes second nature. <a href=''>So</a> it becomes default behavior. <a href=''>So</a> it becomes a natural reaction. <a href=''>U.S.</a> <a href=''>Navy</a> SEALs train until what they're learning becomes a natural and complete reaction. <a href=''>In</a> complicated situations, consciously going through the training steps will get them killed. <br /><br /><a href=''>It</a> has to be second nature. <a href=''>When</a> you're stressed, under pressure, and don't have time to think, you fall to the level of your training. <a href=''>If</a> you overdo everything involved in getting your act together, you'll naturally and automatically do what you've learned without giving it thought. <a href=''>You</a> are far more likely to get a positive outcome if you can demonstrate your respect for the other person by the way you deal with them. <a href=''>If</a> you really want to resolve a situation, then think about when and where you are going to deal with it. <a href=''>There</a> is also little point in trying to resolve conflict if you are likely to be disturbed or in a crowded place. <a href=''>Choose</a> a private location and time when both of you are free. <a href=''>There</a> are times when people will ask you to do something for them. <a href=''>If</a> you are happy to say yes then fine. <a href=''>However,</a> many people say yes when they really want to say no. <a href=''>There</a> are four steps for dealing with requests. <a href=''>Many</a> people override their basicgut' reaction to a request and some people not only override it, they also don't notice it. When someone makes a request, you may find yourself feeling uncomfortable in some way. If this is the case ask yourself what you feel uncomfortable about. It may also help you to ask yourself the following questions. Do I feel used in some way? Do I feel I have to' and, if so, why? <a href=''>What's</a> the worse that could happen if I say no? <a href=''>What</a> feeling am I experiencing (anger, fear, embarrassment etc.)? <a href=''>If</a> you want to sayno', say so clearly.