Can you tell if your need to be perfect comes only from within you--that it's a striving for excellence on steroids? If so, when did it become important? Are you perfectionistic with others? If you are, is there someone from whom you expect their best at all times? Are there others you "let off the hook"? What's the difference between them and what does that suggest to you? Do you expect from others what you expect from yourself? How does it feel to admit this to yourself? Who in your world expects perfection from you? Or who in your past expected it? What's it like to consider the differences between all three categories? Have you ever considered that your perfectionism could put you in danger? Your fear of being found out can be so immense that even at a doctor's office or psychiatric hospital you may not tell. Benita almost lost her life due to that fear. This all means that you must now be willing to begin testing virtually every thought, feeling, or reaction you have about you. It is natural and normal to trust your thinking, but what if you are wrong? What if you are missing some very important aspects of you? If you accept your thoughts as facts, then you will no longer be looking for new information, because you assume that you have all the answers. You will deny key factual realities of self that you cannot afford to miss. You'll be getting your information from an image that is entirely out of focus and untrustworthy.

I'm challenging you to start being skeptical of familiar patterns, familiar information. Find out, instead, exactly what have been your "distorters," the things that have jostled your projector. Together, let's understand what has distorted you so that we can challenge those things. Search for new information about you, because I'm telling you that there are aspects of you, your authentic self, that are about to emerge from within that mess of world experiences and self-choices. It would be tragic for you to fail to recognize your very own self because you had your head so far up your darkest regions that you missed the unveiling! Just look up. Look up to the ceiling if you're indoors, or to the sky if you're outdoors. It is enhanced by looking up to the right hand side. It does not have to be looking at anything in particular. Just look up, to the right. This stimulates the pineal gland which in return will activate the release of serotonin in your gut. Again something you say, "I have a good gut feeling about this." That is literally the flood of serotonin at work. Serotonin is a precursor of the chemical dopamine. Dopamine is known as the reward drug as it attaches good feelings to a stimulus. This can be good in terms of positive events or destructive if attached to addictions. Look up. Say inside your head, "Things are looking up." Think good things. It will be easier with serotonin naturally produced in your body instead of manufactured chemicals. When we take the time to feel and nourish our inner sparkle we feel joy. Our days naturally become more wonder-filled, rich and meaningful.

Attuning our lives to the calls of our spirits we savour the richness of our lives to the fullest, creating heavenly spaces within and around us. We are a joy to be around when we are in touch with our inner sparkle. We are engaged, inspired and curious, and we possess a magical sense of something more. We blossom above and beyond our day-to-day jobs and accomplishments, beyond any worldly accolade or perfectly ticked off to-do list. We experience a more generous, expansive sense of time, space and potential, and emanate an effusive light and warmth to which others are drawn. Our sparkling openness makes for more joyous, connected and life-affirming experiences in daily life: experiences that blissfully reconfirm and grow the magic we feel. If there is one thing that's true for almost everyone who has ever lost a significant number of pounds, it's that the work doesn't stop there. You have to keep eating carefully and keep being physically active. You have to keep on top of your attitudes and emotional health, too. The previous chapters were aimed at both motivating you to tackle the barriers standing in the way of weight loss and giving you direction on how to do it. But as When you listen to what successful maintainers say about their ultimate success, it's clear that for many of them, weight loss went hand in hand with making monumental changes in their lives. Some got out of bad relationships, some switched careers, some learned how to set boundaries with others--whatever the change was, it was often significant. And what drove them to change varied from person to person. For about a third of the NWCR participants, the "lightbulb" moment was health related: Sleep apnea (when you stop breathing for short periods during sleep), an aching back, heart disease, diabetes, or another weight-related condition propelled their desire to do what it took to finally lose weight. Another third took an emotional hit before they got really serious about weight loss; discovering that their spouses left them because of their weight jolted them into action. Some were motivated by special events such as weddings and class reunions, or by seeing themselves in a full-length mirror, or not being able to fit in their clothes any longer. The point is, there was no one universal "aha" moment. Today, mental illness and the secrecy surrounding it is being uncloaked by everyone from Hollywood celebrities to British royalty. Millennials seem much more aware of the vital importance of maintaining mental health and are seeking therapy more openly. Mental health awareness Twitter hashtags abound and have attracted thousands of shares.

Websites that feature not only "experts" talking about mental illness but also those who are living with it are gaining huge popularity. There's a monumental effort going toward modernizing attitudes and providing the public with unprejudiced mental health education. Celebrities and others who can make a difference are coming forward, choosing to reveal anxiety, severe depression, postpartum depression, eating disorders, or bipolar disorder. They're modeling for the world that you can be highly competent in your field and still manage mental illness. Speaking of facts, if, on the other hand, you're committed to dealing in "just the facts," now is a good time to lay some essential ones out on the table. Here are a few that are universal. And these facts must become cornerstones of your journey to discover or rediscover your authentic self. Every one of us, you included, has within us everything we will ever need to be, do, and have anything and everything we will ever want and need. God is wise in so many things that we don't see. I strongly believe that He starts out each person with everything they'll ever need to successfully fulfill their role. We have the tools, we have the ingredients, we have all the things that we need to get out in the world and live as our authentic selves. And for each of us, that set of gifts is uniquely different. He gave you different gifts than He gave me. He has given you different gifts than He gave the next-door neighbor. Nevertheless, each of us, with all of our differences, has within us all of the resources that we need. Those resources are found within the authentic self. If you feel inept or ill equipped to deal with your life, and this is a hard fact to accept, then go with me on blind faith if necessary, because I promise that under all the garbage that you may have accumulated on your journey through this world, lie the gifts and skills that I know are there. If you feel disconnected from your pursuits, whether personal, professional, emotional, physical, or spiritual, it may well be not that there is something wrong or inadequate about you, but that you are chasing the wrong things. The smile is a direct feedback that you are relaxed. (Research numerous science papers to confirm the results of smiling.) Simple and effective.

Like my martial arts preferences, I like simple and effective. Smile while doing an activity. You have no need to be happy to smile. Now if this works in a zero tolerant environment like a full contact fight of Muay Thai boxing, it should correlate to work in daily life. The worst that can happen is you feel better for smiling. I am suggesting a smile will increase your performance in work, relationships and life. It is a small act of action. Smile. In the now. In the present time, where a physical action draws your attention to your mind and body. Try it for 24 hours. Nothing taxing, and record your results. 24 hours of smiles to feel better than you did yesterday. Smile more than you did yesterday. n our busy world, slowing down to live mindfully and in touch with ourselves, nature and one another is a powerful, deeply healing and revolutionary act. Living truthfully with gratitude and wonder, we needn't ever feel that we are missing out on life - something we can sense when on paths incongruent with our innermost values. Indeed, sparkling joy is a sign that we are on our right path; that we are living with purpose. When attuned to our inner sparkle, we feel energised, flexible and spontaneous. With radiant energy we can meet our daily needs on a practical level while keenly exploring the magic and mysteries of life unseen. We experience life as a wondrous, unfolding journey in which we have the power to choose our own adventure through our thoughts and actions.