The feeling that a pure mirror image in the counselor is not sufficient for therapeutic movement is worth careful thought. The fascinating description of discovering that the counselor sees one as a separate person may be a unique experience or may be more general. With our present knowledge it is impossible to say. We turn again to Miss Cam's account. With this, it became more hopeful, and therefore more urgent to get at the root of the problem. Then you made the reflection that struck the spark -- and isn't it odd that I can't remember the exact words. Here another interesting thing happened. Somehow or other you reflected not only my feeling of having hit something significant, but also my pleasure in the event: my pleasure, not your pleasure in having accomplished something with this case after all. I think that if there had been any element that I could have interpreted as self-congratulation in your response, it would have slowed me considerably. On the other hand, if you had failed to reflect any of that pleasure, something quite vital would have been missing. I use it with the aah meditation to open up to a creative solution to a question I am wondering about or to a creative solution to a challenge I am facing. In my mind's eye I imagine the question or challenge and experience the solution as a feeling. Then I let go and do the aah sound meditation without a visual. An answer usually comes in a day or two, when I am doing something else, as an idea or the sound of a very quiet voice making a new suggestion. Sometimes I get up from the aah meditation knowing the solution. OM CREATIVE MEDITATION. The aah sound is the beginning, the alpha of this meditation. There is also the ending, the omega, the om sound. So at the end of your day, again sit quietly with your feet on the ground. Do the abundant breathing for three minutes.

After doing this for a while, I've been figuring out that's just what every teacher needs from their audience, and I've built this so they can almost satisfy it. The Difference between Having Tools and Using a Plan For people to change their views, take action, and do what you want is the difference between using some hypnotic patterns of language and using a method that moves people from where they are to where they want them to go. The challenge to know this approach is that it must be seen in practice and deconstructed and then adapted to conditions that are special to you. This is how you can develop my abilities to learn covert hypnotic persuasion. Sometimes we all need to influence people. Many of us ought, however, to be better at it. Whether at work or in life, on big or small problems, people try, as a matter of course, to change their minds. But what's the difference between manipulation and influence? How are you able to differentiate between them? Shortly after this, the interview was terminated, without having got me any further towards the solution of my problem, as far as I could see at the time. But I did emerge with a strong feeling that this was not going to be solved at the problem level. Even if I did arrive at an adequate explanation of why I engage in this particular behaviour, the explanation in itself would have no therapeutic value. I would have to do something before I could make use of any explanation, and by that time, the explanation wouldn't matter anyhow. Notice, in the second paragraph above, the fact that it is beginning to be her own feelings which are central to the whole experience, and that this already seems so right that an intrusion of any attitude or feeling belonging to the counselor would seem to damage the relationship. She comments further about an additional reaction to this first interview. I was dissatisfied with the expression, I knew I hadn't expressed what I meant, but it was the best I could do at the time. That it was the best I could do at the time probably indicates that it was all I could face at the time. But if anyone had faced me abruptly with the meaning behind my expression, I would have been thoroughly exasperated. What does he think I am anyway?

Imagine your feet open and a green cord drop from your heart, through your body, and on down to the center of the earth. See the emerald-green energy of the earth as it rises up this cord, into your feet, through your legs and torso to your heart. See and feel it filling your entire body. Now open the top of your head, your crown, to the golden energies of the heavens and allow them to flow down to your heart. See this golden energy filling your entire body. Imagine both energies combining, filling your body, and going out through your heart on waves of gratitude as you exhale saying the om sound. Then allow the visuals to drop away. Just breathe deeply and say the om sound as you exhale. With this sound you simply let go and feel love and gratitude. Allow your mind to relax as you say the om on your exhale. And how can you know for certain in the real world that you're not crossing a line? I have dedicated my life's work to find the answers. This involves polling more than 50,000 individuals on how decisions are made across three decades and four continents. Here is what I know for sure: influence is not a pitch without manipulation; And the mechanism that I believe in that I teach thousands of people every year comes with a promise: it is repeatable, consistent, and observable. It is realistic and actionable as well; Study this process and practice it, and you will influence, not manipulate, and change minds. Begin with these six keys: Understand the cycle of decisions. People go through six predictable steps, a universal decision cycle, whenever they make a shift.

Does he think I'm so stupid I can't see that? He just doesn't understand me, that's what, and I'm going to show him how stupid he is. Or maybe it's no use, and I might as well throw in the sponge. Your response, on the other hand, roused a response of Sure, that's right as far as it goes, but there's a lot of other stuff in here that I haven't told you about yet, and I'd like to. This would appear to be an excellent statement of the fact that the reflection of attitudes by the counselor is not only experienced as nonthreatening, but, in its very objectification of the essence of what has been expressed, tends also to draw the client's attention to the many things which have not been said. There were some interesting sequels to this experience. For one thing, a real problem had just arisen. The previous afternoon I had received an offer of a position in X University; I had to make my decision in 24 hours, and I felt completely unequal to the task. It was a very attractive offer, and the position appeals to me in all kinds of ways. Feel gratitude and do this for five to seven minutes. After a few minutes see the energies of both the earth and heavens flow through your body and out through your heart to the earth as you exhale. Say Om and feel grateful. Then imagine your crown closing and any excess energy leaving your body through your feet. Imagine the bottoms of your feet close and experience gratitude. Let go, and if any thoughts or other visuals float through allow them to pass. Simply experience gratitude for your day and your life. Say Om on your exhale, becoming more and more quiet as time passes. Finally say Om silently for about five minutes. End with experiencing the silent hum of the om sound as you feel gratitude.

If you can't define where someone is in the decision cycle, you probably won't understand how to exert control at each point. In the Satisfied phase, for example, many individuals will simply say they are satisfied just to fend off early attempts at change. Your job then is merely to listen and learn; Build trust. They won't allow you to manipulate them if people don't trust you. Speaking less and listening more is a wise, quick way to build trust. Try to use the 4 A's: ask open questions, listen actively, aim well in the right direction to lead the conversation), and avoid problems. You'll create trust by alleviating the tension that a discussion about change can cause. Establish urgency. Four out of five individuals readily agree that something needs a change in their lives, but they just as conveniently admit that they somehow don't do anything about it. But there's this other plan I have -- pioneering work, precarious, not nearly so many obvious personal satisfactions, something that other people will think pretty small potatoes until it succeeds, if it ever does. I had a miserable, restless night, and came to our interview tired and still undecided. Both from the standpoint of immediate personal satisfaction, and from the standpoint of success, the X University appointment was the thing. But it isn't as easy as all that, because comfort isn't the only criterion -- there's the little matter of growing and bearing good social fruit. Well, I think it's no accident that after our interview I suddenly realized that I didn't have to worry about the socially accepted standard of success -- it's a standard that has very little meaning for me. But there was still the question of whether I might not grow just as well in one job as in the other. But how could I decide that? The answer is still in the future and well beyond my reach. I was in despair. Then I thought, well, why do I have to decide between the two jobs?