Find the ten target words inside the grid. The words might run horizontally, vertically, or diagonally and be either forward or backward. There may also be an overlap between the words. TARGET WORDS Now, without thinking too much about it, jot down the various thoughts and possible solutions that come to you. GETTING IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER GORILLA The tender points used to diagnose fibromyalgia are Around the lower neck. Upper chest by the second rib. Around the upper thigh. Middle of the knee joint. Base of the skull. Neck and upper back. Inside of the elbow. Upper and outer muscles of the buttocks. Acupuncture, massage, and Chinese herbal medicine are recommended as effective treatments by the Fibromyalgia Network (see Appendix D, State and National Organizations). Write down, clearly and specifically, some action for which you reproach yourself. Explain why you consider your action wrong. Then close your eyes and imagine that it was not you but a friend you love who committed the action. Imagine interviewing your friend, drawing him or her out, helping this friend to articulate the model of self-in-the-world that was operative, guiding him or her to the perspective and feelings behind the behavior.

Then imagine giving yourself this treatment. How does it make you feel? What do you become aware of? Record your experience in your notearticle. Then consider this: If you would feel it appropriate and desirable to give this benevolent perspective to someone you love, are you willing to give it to yourself? Of course, if you would not give it to yourself, chances are you would not give it to anyone else, either. And we die the way we live. If we are scared of death in life, we will be scared of it in the moment of death. If we are unable to talk about it in life, we will not be able to talk about it at death. If we can share and be vulnerable with good friends in life, so we can in death. Finally, if a person is dying, tell her so. It's more stressful to wonder if you're dying, rather than to just know. At the same time, it is important not to take away a person's sense of hope. There's always room for crazy miracles. Be present to the existential hurt that is painfully human The thing about pain--and many dying people are in it (psychological and emotional as well as physical)--is that it is very hard to relate really. The self-hatred has boiled off. For a moment--even if it's just for a moment--it feels okay to be me. And suddenly I become aware of my breath, rising and falling, in, out. What if I start crying and I can't stop?

So I look at her, this therapist, and dare her, with my eyes, to prove it. She has seen this look before, many times. Early on, she used to rise to it. Then she realised that to win this battle she has to stay out of the battle. So she waits. She is good at waiting. Tighten the muscles in your shoulder for one, two, three seconds. Now release. The stress that has been building in the deep tissue of your shoulders has now been dissolved. Your shoulders are now ready for sleep. Focus your attention on your neck. Gently tighten the muscles and hold for one, two, three seconds. Now release. Gently tighten the muscles in your jaw and hold for one, two, three seconds. Now release. Gently tighten the muscles in your mouth and hold for one, two, three seconds. Tighten the muscles in your shoulder for one, two, three seconds. Now release. The stress that has been building in the deep tissue of your shoulders has now been dissolved. Your shoulders are now ready for sleep.

Focus your attention on your neck. Gently tighten the muscles and hold for one, two, three seconds. Now release. Gently tighten the muscles in your jaw and hold for one, two, three seconds. Now release. Gently tighten the muscles in your mouth and hold for one, two, three seconds. What someone with BPD may have inherited are simply tendencies to Be impulsive Have unstable, highly reactive emotions But people can be highly reactive and impulsive and not have BPD. See article 3 for more information about both of these contributors and the problem of BPD. However, if you throw together a couple inherited tendencies to be impulsive and have unstable emotions with other risk factors, such as traumas, difficult childhoods, or challenging environments, you may be on a fast track for developing BPD. Brain chemistry and functioning Genetics influence BPD because of their impact on the brain, but genes don't directly make someone impulsive or highly emotional. Rather, genes alter the brain in ways that increase the likelihood of impulsiveness and strong emotional responses. Researchers are investigating specific biological systems in the brain for their influences on BPD. However, if we don't move them ourselves, intentionally, by practicing with them, they will cease to work on their own. You can see the results of that in the sagging, downward trends of energy in aging populations. Working with the bandhas physically helps you to understand how they work energetically. You start to see that the energy body can be a mirror of the physical body.

The best way to familiarize yourself with the bandhas is by standing in tadasana or by lying on your back with your arms outstretched overhead (tadaka mudra). In those two postures you can start to engage the bandhas, first one at a time and then in concert with each other. You start to get a feeling for the power and control they offer. To engage jalandhara bandha, lengthen the spine and tilt the chin slightly down and toward the notch in your throat. To engage uddiyana bandha, as you exhale, draw the belly button in toward the spine. By the end of the exhale, the belly button and diaphragm should be lifted in and up. It is what it is, you deal with it accordingly, and you keep it pushing. The second thing was appearance; Remember, smelling desirable also shows a woman that you take pride in yourself. Some men wash their asses and leave the house. It's just like putting lotion or baby oil on; The last thing was the mouthpiece. Besides getting your mind right, there is nothing more effective than the mouthpiece. You see a rich woman with a poor man. Mouthpiece. Ugly guy with a dime piece, probably mouthpiece. My parents came down from Pennsylvania to join us for an evening. They giggled a bit at this very open-ended question from a person they had never met before, and then finally my mother answered that she and Dad were never really sure where I came from, but they suspected Mars. Everyone had a good laugh about it, but she was actually not joking. I listened to her describe me as this weird, loner child who spent hour upon hour on the swing they installed for me in the basement.