4. Finally, physiological states are the first sources of information people experience when interacting with their world. As we act, we immediately feel the sensations and reactions made by the body. For example, breathing patterns are noted, muscle tension is felt, and butterflies in the stomach loudly claim our attention. Each person is uniquely sensitive to these physical reactions inside their own skin, and each person has an idiosyncratic pattern of their own personal set of reactions. These bodily reactions are interpreted in our heads almost immediately, as well. When the interpretation is positive, coping is generally successful, but when bodily sensations give a negative interpretation, confidence erodes quickly. While the body has to react to the outside world so that coping can be prepared and conducted, these physical states may confirm success or hallmark failure. You have Accepted, Acknowledged, and Allowed that you are angry and that you have a right to feel your feelings. You are ready to understand how to make it apparent that you have these feelings so that they are ready to be resolved. stop the argument from boiling and make a statement of your feelings, using declarative, fact-based statements. am angry right now because I feel like you can't hear what I am saying. am angry because I feel like you never allow me to say what I need and want to. I am angry because I feel like you are using my feelings against me, to get a rise out of me. I am angry because I feel like you don't want to hear my side, no matter what I say. Making a declarative statement or two, based on your identification and appreciation of your feelings is what creates understanding about your feelings and then opens the doorway to the next phase in the emotional mastery formula: awareness. When you understand your own feelings, you can bring greater awareness to them, as well as to the emotional state of the other person involved. This is true of group dynamics as well. They feel heard and feel important. That is all that humans want.

They want a voice, and they want to feel they matter. Create a vision with the employees, and the company will have a trust that will help them grow and expand into greater things. As long as the vision stays true to the company and the employees are involved in some way. The company is more likely to have success and last for years to come. small company asked employees to submit an idea for the company vision. all the ideas were collected, the company held a meeting and read the opinions and let the employees pick their favorite one, and the vision was born. The employees felt pride and a feeling of family because they were involved. the team/employees together, and creativity will flow freely. Matt's group members take note of the visible features of each other's physiological states. commend individuals when they are demonstrating positive states, and remind them when negative states are apparent. The Key Role of Self-Efficacy in Being Truthful about Trauma Self-efficacy is important in all classes of behavior exhibited by PTSD survivors. Such confidence (or lack of it) becomes the final pathway through which victims lead the rest of their lives after trauma. Successful PTSD treatment will improve self-efficacy in a long list of social, behavioral, and thinking skills, including anxiety management, social limit-setting, thinking clarity, and perseverance. But our emphasis in this piece of writing is the role of self-efficacy in one particular area of behavior: a victim becoming more truthful and/or authentic about how trauma has affected him or her. We have contended that victims must be truthful about the shame they feel as a result of being traumatized. Typically, this truthfulness is accomplished in psychological treatment by having the victim give a truthful account of the trauma in some kind of public setting (to the therapist, to a group, or in a written account). Giving such accounts is, at times, very difficult for victims. Every person wants to be heard and validated, and when you have the emotional intelligence to identify, appreciate, and understand your feelings, then you can bring others into awareness of that as well. In this example, you have stated to your partner that you are angry for specific reasons.

You use a clearly identified emotion to explain what you are feeling, followed by a reason for it. You have made it clear to your partner that you are able to identify why you are arguing and what it means to you. This is a great way to open up the conversation to be a more connected and less argumentative experience because you are allowing for the subject to change from defense and ego to offense and empathy. Giving space to the identified feelings, and your understanding of them gives you more space to awaken awareness in yourself and the person you are communicating with. This act will then, in turn, allow the other person to follow your lead. Whomever you are with, and no matter what the situation may be, when you lead by the example of emotional intelligence, you invite others to practice the same attitude and emotional authority. You created awareness about your feelings, and now your partner can do the same. Once this bridge is crossed, it leads to what you can do to change or resolve the emotions involved. Creating Space for Employees to Grow Will Improve Business We all want to improve ourselves in some way or another. We have a deep-rooted desire to be fulfilled. We need connection and love with other humans. At some point in life, we discover something is missing, or we have a longing for more or different. We get a glimpse of what our life might be like. We hear instructions to do things that are totally out of the norm for us. If we listen, we will discover that whisper is just what we need. Our soul aches to be heard. Some may think of this as silly and a total crock. Some can't even do it, and there are plenty of reasons as to why clients are reluctant to describe their experiences. Great shame is often felt about having been victimized.

Rendering a public account of what happened may cause fear--realistic or otherwise--that others will be hurt. The intense pain of flashbacks and other ways of reliving the trauma can dissuade disclosure. Clearly, it can't be good when a victim drops out of treatment because he or she found that being truthful about the trauma was too unpleasant. One shudders to think of what happens to a rape victim who drops out of treatment, does not return in the future to seek help, and lives life with all that horrifying avoidance, shame, and anger. What about the Childhood Sexual Abuse victim, the violent crime victim, or the combat veteran? Keeping victims in treatment is important. Attention must be paid to this issue when examining the progress victims are making in treatment. While therapists want to avoid chasing clients away, making the treatment relevant and effective is necessary as well. Your partner may admit that they feel angry too, or that they are sad at the idea that you are angry, but that they feel the same way. When you are able to share your emotions with another, you can then begin to understand them better together and create a deeper awareness of what the core issues are. It may come to light, once you have shared and opened, that you both recognize that you regularly argue, about 2 times a month and always about the same issue: whose turn it is to take out the trash, as a simple example. The argument has deeper layers to it, but the event of taking out the trash is what makes you both realize that you can get to a boiling point regularly when you are not regularly being heard or respected by your partner. The trash schedule is just a catalyst for you to identify your deeper feelings. Once you have been able to connect to this awareness, you can follow forward into the next phase of emotional mastery: action. You won't be able to effectively master your emotions if you are unwilling to take action to resolve your experiences. When you get to the awareness phase, the goal is that you solve the problem. Now that you have identified and understood the main emotion and the reasons behind it, you can't just leave it at that! You have to push through and resolve to grow through it, whether you are doing it by yourself with your own personal, emotional growth, or with others. Others believe and understand the importance of taking care of yourself and listening to that voice. You own a profitable coffee shop.

You have considered hiring someone for marketing and social media accounts. One day you are sitting in the back working on paperwork. A voice tells you to go out front to help serve tables. So, you listen to the voice and go out front to help with the afternoon crowd. The first table you come to is two women, the first woman is discussing marketing and social media accounts and telling the other one how she could free up her time by letting her run them for her. She was just what you need. You ask for her card and make plans to discuss your own needs. The Universe, God, Buddha, was helping you get what you needed. The status of self-efficacy may be what therapists consider the best place to look when considering the correct level of pressure to put on clients to provide an account of life trauma. Timing is important in psychological treatment. Successful therapists seem to know when to push and when to back off. The most comfortable point at which a person can be pressured may be where self-efficacy ends. It is not hard for a therapist to tell when a victim is reluctant to do or say something. Balking, resistance, and distraction all increase at these points. When this happens, it can be useful to offer multiple choices. A small increment in effort from what the client can currently do could be the next, doable step in the process of enhancing self-efficacy. Dr Matt did something of this sort when he gave Felicia the choice to describe why she couldn't say more about her trauma. When she did say who she was protecting, a performance was accomplished, and self-efficacy was enhanced, even if a little. The key to action, with any situation, is to create an agenda for resolution. With your partner, you may decide that it isn't just about the trash, but that you want to create a plan to make sure it feels even and balanced for both of you.