Everyone makes mistakes

If you can't manage three minutes, just feel three breaths before diving in. Between activities. Resting between your daily activities, even for just a few moments, is very nourishing. Feeling your breath and renewing yourself is very pleasant. Research has found that just three mindful breaths can change your body's …

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Keep your mind sharp

In some cases, for example, the core has a whole separate house of her own, not just a study in the main house. If a patient already has a safe place, I often suggest that she lift it into the new Safe Place. One patient created a whole amusement park …

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Letting go of unhelpful perfectionism

A tennis match, a guided tour of a natural park or city, a bike ride or bowling. On average, the most sedentary people make between 2000 and 3000 steps per day. By adding 2000 steps daily, you could manage to maintain your current weight and stop weight gain. Add more …

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Surround yourself with positive and like-minded people

You experience unpleasant physiological, psychological, and/or emotional symptoms. You experience trauma at the thought or reality of separating from your addiction. You become angry, justify your right to have or use it, and act out to preserve your right to do what you want. If you had to flee …

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Someone who makes me feel good about myself

If you value the relationship more, you may let go of the attempt to make her stop smoking. These choices are not easy, but you can approach them assertively. This negative self-talk is very damaging and we do it a lot. It just keeps eroding our morale, damaging our self-esteem …

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Challenge your thinking patterns

One of her strongest memories from childhood was of being told, over and over, "You can do better than this!" And she could have done better, if she hadn't had ADD. But whatever she did was never good enough. She has a severe problem finishing things and with organizing. Wilton …

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Build a friendly mind-set

Given the enormous influence others have on our actions, how can we manage distraction around those with whom we want to spend uninterrupted quality time? How do we change our tendencies toward distraction when those around us haven't changed theirs? Essayist and investor Paul Graham writes that societies tend to …

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Learning new skills

They asked people with different backgrounds to accurately predict the British economy ten years into the future. Who won? A group of sanitation workers tied for first place with a panel of four chairman of multinational firms.48 Once again, the amount of knowledge we have in a certain area …

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Short attention span and inattention

One antidepressant made my eyes dilate to such an extent that my vision became blurred. I was then put on another that caused such terrible stomach upset, that I'll trust you'd rather not know the details. Another medication, one that was supposedly tailor-made for anxiety, produced the side effect of …

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The confidence machine

As you are putting your plan into action, making new choices that will empower you to handle stress better, there will be days when you fall back into old habits. Whether you binge on comfort food, say yes to too many commitments, stay up half the night watching mindless TV …

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Becoming the authority of your life

No matter how simple our tasks may initially appear, many, if not all of our tasks require thoughtful action; and it's for that reason many people find procrastination to be a never-ending burden. I usually had a variety of tasks that I simultaneously procrastinated on. Typically, it wasn't that I …

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It's not the right time

If my short term goals don't seem to lead towards my long term goals, or if what I am doing now doesn't fit in with my goals, then I need to rethink. I keep the yellow pad with my long term goals on it on my desk and review it …

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Don't be afraid to upset others

This altered gene activity, in turn, affects the normal functioning of your brain. In summary, negative stimulation changes gene activity which results in dysfunction of the neural network in your brain. When that happens during a vulnerable period, the brain does not work well, and the result is depression. Depression …

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You're either the lender or the borrower

When those needs are at odds with your being your authentic self, you must prevail. By avoiding the feed, I'm much more likely to use social media mindfully while still allowing time to connect with others proactively. Just as companies like Facebook and LinkedIn implement behavioral design to keep us …

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Increase your intake of antioxidants

Keep in mind that emotional discipline starts first thing in the morning, when you wake up. That is when you create the opportunity to set the standard for your day, by saying, I am happy, I am blessed, I am joyful, I am alive, and nothing will stop me from …

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Where there's a will there's a way!

Skill-building groups that teach and practice interpersonal and communication skills provide participants with alternatives to "saying yes" to substances. They are similar in their approach to relapse prevention, and their provision is vital. Look for programs or services that deliver skill training and relapse prevention; ask about it--insist upon it …

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How to manage setbacks

This sensual love building trigger is one of the most powerful exercises of all because it allows you to form a deep emotional connection-- simply by communicating how you feel with one, simple question. "What can I do for you?" It may be that your partner wants to cuddle on …

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How to read a person

Thereafter, let your gut instincts take over at the consultation. If you don't feel comfortable, it's perfectly fine to seek out another professional. I've done this when I sought out treatment as a patient--and as a therapist, I encourage second opin-ions if the match isn't there. Finding a "good fit …

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Argue better

Your heart may race. Your stomach may tighten. Or the opposite--you may feel tension glide off of you or your breathing may become calm. This kind of dissociation from your body can make it very difficult to identify what your body is telling you or to determine where you feel …

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Cherish every moment of your life

What happened to me reinforced another important lesson that I had forgotten (I don't always learn on the first try): Always check with healthcare professionals before starting any new diet, cleansing, or exercise program. Wow, what a sobering experience that was for me. My cardiologist also suggested that I look …

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How to act when you are under pressure

May their words be pleasing to others. May they be free from fear, tension, anxiety, worry, and restlessness. Magnesium is the fourth most abundant mineral in the human body, yet it is readily depleted in the face of chronic stress. If you're low on magnesium anyway, stressful times can cause …

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Overview of emotional over-control responses

If we were to simply acknowledge the truth of our human strength and beauty, to connect with ourselves, each other and life in deeper, richer and more meaningful ways, we would save unthinkable amounts of time, energy, money and angst. More money can buy more things but more things don't …

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What activities do i want to see myself do more often?

In your life right now, there may be lots of people who believe in and encourage you. Your "supporting cast" may number in the hundreds, yet I'd be willing to bet that if you have even one or two critics--one or two naysayers--those "noisy" few can command your full attention …

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Find like minded people

New information that's consistent with our existing beliefs is quickly accepted at face value. On the other hand, information that contradicts our beliefs is often ignored or critically scrutinized and discounted.4 For example, a team of psychologists had people read summaries of two studies relating to the effectiveness of …

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One issue at a time and know what you want to happen

In other words, the promise of what they are going to be delivered doesn't matter so much as how they feel in the moment--and with those who used the reality distortion field, they make them feel loved, validated, energized. It's not a complicated technique, and anyone can do it with …

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Why do i get panic attacks?

Owning up to them can be challenging, so be gentle as well as honest with yourself. See what insights you gain. You will likely start to notice patterns: Maybe there is a particular time of day when you are vulnerable to sneaking in a bite. Perhaps when you're stressed you …

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Social stigma

The same is true concerning other household chores. Dishes and silverware no longer accumulate in my sink--not because I've become overly fastidious about cleanliness, but because I've developed the positive habit of washing the utensils I used to prepare my meal, either while the food was still cooking, or just …

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Talk to yourself

A slow cooker is also a great timesaving appliance. Fall in love with seasonings. Keep a good supply of herbs, seasonings, and flavored oils to enhance the flavor of your foods. Prepare healthy food with the taste you enjoy. Get into the habit of identifying and thinking positive things about …

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Training yourself to focus on just one task

I learned something else interesting from my brother when I was talking to him and seeking his thoughts, opinion, and advice on a situation that was making me "frustrated", "irritated", and "angry". He cut me off and said, "Well, Marc, that's where I think you're making a mistake. You're letting …

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