Learn to appreciate yourself

You will question yourself. You will be in a lot of pain. But the only person that'll be patting you on the back and telling you "It'll be ok" will be YOU. No one will be there when you're in pain and in tears. No one will be there to …

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What's funny?

When beginning the process of taming the bramble of old and thorny emotions in yourself, talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can provide exactly the tools you need to succeed. At The Center, we use a variation of CBT called dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), which is a clear and …

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You're either the hunter or the prey

Unfortunately, this digital debris costs us time, degrades performance, and kills concentration. Unsurprisingly, our brains have a tougher time finding things when they are positioned in a disorganized manner, which means every errant icon, open tab, or unnecessary bookmark serves as a nagging reminder of things left undone or unexplored …

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Keep it personal

"Whew. You seem really normal! I promise you I am too. Plus, you know, the first two minutes of a date are the scariest, and we've gotten through that, so let's see what else we can get through." Then, smile. Congratulations! You've just put your date at ease, and communicated …

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Being in control of your own actions

After analyzing a recent series of experiments that were said to have found evidence of ESP, she stated, "These experiments, which looked so beautifully designed in print, were in fact open to fraud or error in several ways...the results could not be relied upon as evidence for psi."41 …

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What can i do about thoughts?

But we are holding a tension here. How do we adapt the teaching of mindfulness to a context that is distinct from the origins of this belief system and way of learning (the dharma)? Can it be successfully modified and still maintain its Buddhist historical and ethical roots, and does …

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Why body language matters

Polygrapher A found X to be guilty, B found Y to be guilty, and C found Z to be guilty. Research has shown that lie detector tests are quite unreliable--they're open to a lot of subjective interpretation. If a polygrapher has a preconceived notion of who's guilty, he can interpret …

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Achieve one goal at a time step-by-step

The greater the task, the greater the benefit. As procrastinators, we're quick to think that the greater the task, the greater the cost. We developed that way of thinking because we felt we had too much at stake to lose. We fear that dealing with tasks means losing our free …

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Humour and likability

Finally, care about what people have to say. I don't mean "appear to care" about what they have to say, I mean literally care. This is the hardest step in the process because sometimes we just don't care. It sounds callous, but it's true. Someone else's problems are just that …

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Repair your relationship house

They are after all working at the extreme. (Is it any wonder the military on long tours find it difficult?) Like being an astronaut on the International Space Station, there is always a way. A small plant is nature after all. Be creative. Look how creative your mind has been …

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Taking care of your body and mind

There is a definite goal. But there is no timetable. What you are doing is digging your way deeper and deeper through layers of illusion toward realization of the supreme truth of existence. The process itself is fascinating and fulfilling. It can be enjoyed for its own sake. There is …

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Being likable by not being unlikable

If location tracking is a priority, a GPS-enabled wristwatch like the GizmoWatch keeps track of kids through an app on parents' phones but only allows incoming and outgoing calls to and from select numbers. To investigate these expectations further, Chapman and Chapman gave undergraduate students thirty cards.8 Each card …

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Coping with low-intensity triggers

I believe that you have a special place in the order of life, a particular role to fill. And yes, it is one filled with vision, passion, and power. So hang on and get ready to get way more consciously into your own life. Don't feel selfish or egotistical because …

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Create a fake sun

What are the skills tied to self-compassion? One is the skill of tuning in to yourself, checking how you're feeling physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And then allowing that information to matter--because you matter. You worked on this in a fun way when we talked about challenging your shaming voice …

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Goal keeping and strength development

If a manuscript is rejected for publication, researchers think it's due to the arbitrary selection of a particularly critical reviewer, as opposed to the quality of what they wrote. You can use a watch to time your session, but don't peek at it every two minutes to see how you …

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What people think about us

We can truly understand the meaning of the famous metaphor of the blind man who has a healthy body and the disabled person who has good eyes. Both of them, alone, are limited. But when the disabled person climbs on the shoulders of the blind man, together they can travel …

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Go with the flow

Great work so far! I hope you congratulate yourself for already beginning. In fact, doing something nice for yourself as a thank-you is healthy self-compassion and self-care. You may be asking yourself, If that's the case, then why have I not done this reformulation of self before? I always say …

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I can't find anything

If an employee saves two hours driving to work, they might even put in an extra hour for the company - and still gain an hour of free time. I propose a new mandatory course for all university students. Every student in the class is squeezed into the smallest wardrobe possible …

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Turn something boring into a game

You know a lot more about you and what is likely to be creating problems for you to live the life you want. Having cleared some space, cleared the decks and programmed your sat nav, it is time to move forward in a new direction. One that will allow you …

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The give approach

When we open up to one another we inevitably realise that we share the same human feelings: hurts and doubts, hurries and worries. The same dark nights and desires of the soul. And while each one of us is unique, we share our essential humankind-ness. Our need to belong, our …

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Impulsive, impatient, and irritable

Epitomizing this shift, in 1903, Dr. George Pettey, an addiction specialist, vocalized a growing opinion about the depravity of addiction, calling it "another curse." A series of federal regulations, beginning with the Pure Food and Drug Act of 1906, were bellwethers for the changing national outlook on drugs and drug …

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The therapeutic window

Keep striving. In a lot of cases, the ride to the life you want sucks and it's ugly, but if you don't worry about it and just hold on, you'll make it there. It makes perfect sense that schools use behavior and habit tracking sheets as a learning tool for …

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Wiping away the memories of failure

Forgiveness isn't about letting someone "off the hook." The first and most powerful objection we encounter in ourselves is the mistaken idea that to forgive means looking the other way while somebody "gets away" with something. We see forgiveness as an undeserved get-out-of-jail-free card. That seems wrong somehow, because we …

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Finding shortcuts

They took my pain and made it their pain! They asked, Why are you doing this to yourself? and Being self-employed isn't worth going through this much trouble and completely ruining your life and credit. We could say that when I went against my own advice, by not taking care …

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Remedies and solutions during a panic attack crisis

Because so many drugs can contribute to depression, if you are experiencing symptoms of depression, have a health care professional assess the medications you are taking to see if any might be adding to your struggle. Ask if dosages of suspect drugs can be adjusted, eliminated, or replaced with a …

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How to merit and maintain others' trust

Do the time-consuming prep work on the weekend. While not everyone has time to prep their meals on any given Saturday, what with kids' swim meets, Mommy and Me classes, or orchestra performances, this can also be a great way to teach your little ones their way around the kitchen …

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When your schedule is full, you do more

As a result, everyone reacts differently to the events and opportunities they encounter. Being open-minded can help you so much, giving you the chance to learn at every turn in life. You can see what others choose to shut out. Many people fail to discover new things because they think …

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