How to deal with shame and humiliation

It could be when there's a large gap in your schedule, it's a particular time of day, or you're doing a certain activity. Notice what causes a poor mood, the moments when you get trapped in TRAPs, and the times that you forget to plan. Because Sheila knows that her …

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Why talk about stress when you have pain?

It's what made him who he is today. There's a big difference between helplessly riding out a panic attack and not allowing one to hold you back, and the same is true with procrastination. While you might not like your procrastinating ways, there could be those times when you just …

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Working the room

Become involved in order to show them your winning spirit (you don't just care about your needs being met, but the needs of everyone around you.) If that doesn't get you loyal followers, nothing will! Eyewitness testimony is also powerful because eyewitnesses are often very confident in their identifications. As …

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Apologize effectively

They are the cornerstones of your script of life, creating boundaries and barriers to who you can become and what you do. Remember this: money doesn't necessarily define success. Success can be measured by self-fulfillment, awareness, emotional intelligence, and education. I've always felt that as long as I could support …

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How can i escape fear by embracing it?

Fernando Gomez-Pinilla, professor of neuropsychology at the University of Southern California, who has long studied the effects of nutrition on the brain says, "Food is like a pharmaceutical compound that affects the brain. The more balanced you make your meals, the more balanced will be your brain function-ing." Consider choosing …

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Coping with high-intensity triggers

We've discussed the hurdles you might encounter. Now you'll be reassessing the beliefs and rules that have protected you and have been your reality. Changing that now can feel risky and even frightening. Your mind may go blank when you try to come up with ideas. I want to start …

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Celebrate good news

You may remember a lot from your childhood or not. Some memories may be fuzzier than others. You may feel as if you don't have enough "big" memories. But if they were significant somehow, please include them. Nothing should be discounted. Remember, you're using a lens of compassion. Remember that …

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What can i do about this?

Now! Right now I'm thinking about it, it's on my mind. "Now" will get it done; it won't be hanging over my head and cluttering up my mind any more. I noticed that often I would think about something - "Oh, I need to do that. I will get to it …

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What's got you riled up?

This is a device for gaining concentration. There are numerous ways of counting. Any counting should be done mentally. Do not make any sound when you count. Following are some of the ways of counting. While breathing in, count "one, one, one, one..." until the lungs are full of fresh …

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Procrastinating and avoiding

Back then there was no SBIRT, screening for problem drinking and drug use, especially in adolescents, so that early intervention might be possible. Back then there was no MAT, medication-assisted treatment; he would have been a candidate for long-acting naltrexone (Vivitrol) had it existed. He had the support of his …

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What can i do about sleep problems?

(2013)], in which inquiry, using the Kolb model, consists of three layers following the experience itself: reflection, context, and invitation.) Listen to the people around you and to people talking on the TV and radio. Be aware of how and when other people use should',shouldn't', can't',must' and mustn't' …

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Knowing when to end the conversation

You may rise above the mud far enough to breathe a bit more easily if you practice vipassana meditation with diligence. Vipassana meditation is the road to nibbana. And from the reports of those who have toiled their way to that lofty goal, it is well worth every effort involved …

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Many procrastinators are perfectionists

It's to survive. It's to maintain and continually improve your standard of living and your place in the world. You don't want to see your competitors lose and go out of business and you don't want to take food out of their mouths, but if you don't defend yourself in …

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Meditation techniques you can use

Let each and every one of us imagine that our minds are free from greed, anger, aversion, jealousy, and fear. Let the thought of loving friendliness embrace us and envelop us. Let every cell, every drop of blood, every atom, every molecule of our entire bodies and minds be charged …

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Being in control of your own actions

In order to bridge this gulf, Buddhists over the centuries have devised an array of exercises aimed at smoothing the transition. They take that jump and break it down into little steps. Each step can be practiced by itself. Depression can be debilitating because some symptoms (like fatigue or low …

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Follow the rules of friendship

It's worth remembering that virtually all of the phenomena that paranormal researchers point to as evidence of supernatural or mystical occurrences can be replicated by magicians, most of whom readily admit they're illusionists and they're performing a trick. Doesn't that tell us something? And so, I have a little gremlin …

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Stuck and getting unstuck

When the BBC reported on her story in July 2016 she was six months' pregnant. Our main system of trade is money. If you don't like it and can't change it, then learn how to better understand it and get better at it. Jim Rohn said, "I used to say …

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Overloaded and overwhelmed

Suppose for a moment that we changed tasks because our second task was indeed more important than the original task we were working on. All we'd need to do then would be to act on the second task until its completion, and then return to our original task. However, that's …

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Difficulty accomplishing daily tasks

I am positive. We tend to feel overloaded and overwhelmed. We tend to get distracted and not accomplish the things we need to. Simplifying and organizing are ways to deal with these problems, or even better, to avoid them. Focusing on doing one thing and forgetting about the rest simplifies …

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Embarrassment can be good

If not, be prepared to move on and spend less time with them. Negativity can be deeply ingrained. Many people get into a vicious cycle of low expectations and low achievement, which begets an inner void. In a sense, there is no bottom to their emptiness, and so trying to …

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Individual personality

Your brain and body can't tell the difference between something you vividly imagine and something that's real. That's why your mouth waters when you imagine biting into a slice of chocolate cake. You can use this to your advantage if you're feeling nervous about doing something for the first time …

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Things to do when under provoking situationds

I began my psychological schooling in a behavioral and social learning theory undergraduate program. I completed cognitive and psychodynamic studies in my doctoral program, and, finally, psychoanalytic training in post-doctoral training. I strongly believe that each of these psychotherapies offers tremendous benefits for dealing with depression. My practice style comes …

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Consider the ideal affect

I adjust, accommodate, or avoid things in my life to minimize the trauma of triggers and encourage you to do the same. Through trial and error and self-observation you'll learn what experiences are triggers for you. Make them known to yourself, and make them known aloud to others. Insist that …

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Don't fake it

To experience these emotions strongly is to be human. Many times, these emotions prompt you to act in ways that are safe and appropriate. Other times, even if the emotion makes sense, the immediate action urge that follows does not support your best interests in the long term; plus, when …

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When do emotions cause problems?

Not only are depressed people plagued with self-doubts but their self-esteem plummets as well. Hold onto hope and accept that what you're going through will pass eventually. And finally, and most importantly, seek help immediately if you are feeling suicidal or have difficulty controlling thoughts of self-harm. Continue taking care …

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Creativity and follow through

You have no need to look down at others and feel "better" than them. You have no need to think certain people don't deserve to be treated the way you'd like to be treated. You have no need to EVER disrespect anyone - even if they're disrespecting you. It's the same …

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Self-talk and self-fulfilling prophecies

They all turned out to be too high, no surprise given what I saw clinically. But his pulse was strong and regular. In a quiet single room surrounded by his family, he took several high doses of Librium and some fluids and began to settle down. I concluded that Tom …

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Mental habitds of success

The more data points you have, the more reliable your observations will be. Engage and code your emotional state. Rinse and repeat. Take note of any observations. If a behavior repeatedly leads to HP or LP states, even for a few seconds or minutes, then you may intuitively decide that …

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Only 3% of us actually have our act together

It can be a touch, a sound, a sight, a taste, and a smell, in particular, is very powerful. What follows will illustrate some powerful examples through word and experience. Experience of my own. I sometimes relate this event on the speaking circuit, while reading it ensure your tongue is …

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Who is most likely to develop depression?

If you are using your coping strategies your anxiety is likely to abate and once it has reduced to, say, a three, you can choose something a little more difficult from the list you have drawn up. Michelle practised this exercise for two days, three times a day until her …

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Ways of improving optimism

Anemia (iron-poor blood) can fatigue and make a person feel listless. Hypothyroidism (hormone imbalance) can flatten or even agitate mood. Mood changes may also occur from the psychological stress of coping with a medical condition or may be caused by the illness itself or by the medications used to treat …

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Standing up for the other in their absence

We get stuck in the "if only" syndrome. If only I had more money, then I would be happy. If only I could find somebody who really loved me; if only I could lose twenty pounds; if only I had a color TV, a hot tub, and curly hair; and …

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Personal affirmations

When you have a plan in place, you will be able to survive and thrive in spite of the added tension. Many people turn to unhealthy behaviors to cope with or escape their stress, such as drinking too much alcohol, self-medicating on drugs, and overeating. But when you change the …

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Be messy--in creative places

Know yourself. For instance, I'm currently in a great writing flow. I don't feel the need to leave my city. I have a set routine every day, and it works very well for me. I feel happy, and I enjoy my life a lot. When I go away for even …

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