Turn discord into a game

He was explaining--and it took our group some time to take this idea on board--that people have very different ways of expressing their grief Most of us would assume, I think, that grieving people weep a lot, feel terribly sad, lost, depressed, and have little interest in events other than …

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What will acting on resistance provide?

No, there are other issues at work. Who gets addicted? A big part of the stigma directed at addicts is the matter of choice. Nobody wants depression or anxiety or psychosis or PTSD, but it's not something they get to decide. But anyone with an addiction, they must have chosen …

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Is it time to see piety yet?

Those changes that have occurred in the brain, they never entirely go away. All those circuits that learned that a certain drug means pleasure or relief, all that bulking up of the stress system, that's still there. They might be diminished, toned down, or dormant, but as adaptive as the …

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Awareness makes disagreement possible

I would speculate that when he is with others they do not impinge greatly upon him. He does not regard himself as lonely, but lacking trust in one's self and in others is not a good starting point for making sustaining connections. Has he embraced solitude, with all that implies …

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Coping with difference

Show your wife; REPLACE A BUSTED DOOR Replace a dated or busted interior door with this step-by-step guide from James Carey, cohost of the home-improvement radio show On the House. WHAT YOU'LL NEED A prebored door (that has the same dimensions as the old one), nail punch, hammer, pliers, towel …

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Is recognition worth the effort?

At the most simple, neurological level, connections are made between something happening, and how good or bad the outcome of it was. If we do a thing and something bad happens, we avoid doing it again. If we do a thing and nothing happens, we don't associate any outcome to …

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Avoid personal responsibility for emotion

I almost always felt shut out from the others of them and was often truly lonely. When you feel relatively 'at one' with yourself you are most likely to be able to welcome solitude: feeling, to quote Winnicott, calm, restful, relaxed and one with people and things when no excitement …

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Nobody loves a pig wearing lipstick

If I'm on my own and alone at least I don't need to face what other people are thinking about me. Nor my envy of them either, I guess. In loneliness you are usually painfully aware of what you do not have: the prince or princess who still has no …

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What's the big deal anyway?

There's another tool to make. Time to create your pick: Open the second pin, scrape the rounded edge off the tip of the straighter side, and bend the same tip up just slightly so it resembles a very shallow curved fishhook [B]. Insert the hook end into the keyhole; If …

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Love is actually natural

And so we turn to each other, doing the best with what we have, but often carrying resentments that each of us is insufficiently consoled, cared for and restored. You feel this consciously in the present, and you may well feel it at an unconscious level hanging on from the …

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Feeling like a personal failure

Since my article was published and I can no longer be a complete failure in his eyes, things have got worse, not better. It's as though to have any contact with me at all would be too painfully embarrassing for him. It is hard to understand. Adam had little contact …

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Don't you talk to an adult like that!

You were right. You are not lovable. This does not mean that you are not great company, even charismatic. It is possible to be those things and to 'borrow' the feelings of lovability while you are sparkling. But intimacy, as well as solitude, requires a level of self-awareness and of …

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Revenge tastes so sweet

In an interior work area, fluorescent overheads create an environment similar to what you'd find in a low-light rain forest. At a garden center, buy a pound of 3/8-inch pebbles, a bag of horticultural charcoal, potting soil, and a 2-gallon glass container with a lid. For a window office …

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I am generous with animals

Not so, says Dr Stern. There is no symbiotic-like phase. In fact, the subjective experiences of union with another can occur only after a sense of a core self [which forms between the ages of two and six months] and a core other exist. Freed from the traditional view of …

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On Changing Your Frequency/Mood

Mastering the fine art of etiquette could make the difference between a date and a blow-off. Use your manners always and as naturally as possible even if you think women are nowhere near. They are or will be as soon as you slack off. Women notice men who display class …

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Living an Organized Life

Imagine your usual route home involves crossing a bridge over a river. One day, the bridge collapses while you're on the wrong side. You can't go home now, you're stuck. In this analogy, your house is your normal functioning mind. The bridge is your usual way of achieving and sustaining …

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You need to be heard

And buy a hairbrush. HOW TO GO LONG ON TOP Consider your noggin shape when choosing a hair length. Length adds softness to a strong, square jawline. Stay away from a straight style or a one-length cut, either of which can overemphasize your jaw. Getting up in the morning can …

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Of taking things out on the wrong people

The gland associated with the third eye is the pineal gland, named such for its resemblance to a pine cone. Located right in the center of your forehead, your pineal gland, like your two eyes, has rods and cones for receiving light. It's no wonder that so many cultures throughout …

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On How You Want Your Life to Be

With your other hand, fold the fabric in half, bringing the hem to the center. Place it in your pocket with the fold exposed. Adjust it to desired puffiness. HOW TO BREAK IN A PAIR OF JEANS You can achieve that well-worn comfort that normally takes months to achieve in …

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Extreme sensitivity to light and sound

Everyone who has lived a long, healthy life has been physically active throughout their lives, and that movement continues into later life. Even when she was in hospital, my 110-year-old patient put in a good mile a day just by walking around the ward and talking to bed-bound people thirty …

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On Needing Heroes

Even in Target. Make that especially in Target. HOW TO FOLD A DRESS SHIRT Developing a bit of skill in sartorial origami can help you stay sharp and fresh and not wrinkled, as if you just wrestled an alligator in your shirt. Lay Out the Shirt. Yup, orgasms. They are …

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Stress Management

This is what I call successful diplomacy. There's a good chance you never learned it from your parents, as most of us grew up with models of communication that were either scary or ineffectual, so we need to figure out for ourselves what it means to express our needs, opinions …

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On Creating Happiness

Stretching only puts your muscle through more strain, which could lead to more pain. Flex Instead Leverage the intelligent approach: reciprocal inhibition (RI). This is a nervous-system phenomenon that you can activate yourself. When you contract the muscle on one side of a joint hard enough, the opposing muscle--the one …

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The long answer is no

This is another area with a lot of ancestral influence. If your parents, particularly your mother, carried a lot of sadness, a piece of that sadness is in you. In one of my practitioner trainings, I acted as the demonstration body for a segment that was focused on working with …

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Unwanted Help

This is a wild time to be alive! It really is. It can feel really rough, but the healthier you are, you can reframe it and ask what role you have to play at this pivotal time in history. HEALING HATE At the center of the chaos we're seeing in …

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Smaller, Faster, Closer

All that matters is that you're somewhere natural. Being alone. Spending time alone is a powerful tool. No judgement, no social media, just you. We are programmed to be aware of and respond to the humans around us in order to keep ourselves safe. It was my fiftieth birthday, and …

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Time and Take Notes

Stand holding a dumbbell at eye level with your arm bent, palm forward, and your other hand on your hip. Press the dumbbell straight overhead and then lower it to the starting position. Do 12 reps on one side and repeat with your other arm. That's 1 set. Lower the …

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Life with No Regrets

With a tick bite, you should expect a minor skin infection even if you're not infected with a tickborne illness. All current or historical events are available for questioning. The answers are impersonal and do not depend on the belief systems of either the tester or the test subject. For …

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Afraid of being taken advantage of financially

Use a number 10 long-shanked hook and run the hook through the cricket's back, just behind the head. The difference in power between a loving thought (10-35 million microwatts) and a fearful thought (10-750 million microwatts) is so enormous as to be beyond the capacity of the human imagination to …

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I am willing to feel good about myself

If your father suffered trauma or for whatever reason wasn't in touch with those aspects of himself, that empowering influence will be lacking. All you need to do is cast 30 feet to catch fish, says Bob Sousa, PhD, author of Learn to Fly Fish in 24 Hours. WEATHER A …

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Peer support

It resonates with the frequency of the color yellow, the vowel sound oh, and the seed syllable RAM. Looks like a wounded shad. Good for trout and pike. Gibbs Pencil Popper. A classic striped bass lure for surfcasting. Roostertail. One of the best rainbow trout spinners ever made. Hula Popper …

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I Am Suffering: You Need Help

What are its mechanics? The more aligned in our centers we become, the more energy is flowing through our central axes. I also like to practice regular, short (five minutes or less) micro-rests throughout my day. My favorite micro-rest is a simple meditation in which you imagine the torus shape …

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I sometimes sneak food

High--power attractor energy patterns, which make the body go strong, release brain endorphins and have a tonic effect on all of the organs; The same way that water flows downriver or electricity flows along a current, we are meant to flow through our lives. Moving through life in this way …

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