Gladness and success

He doesn't train for it but just jumps right in, literally. Doug makes sure he keeps a sustainable pace and keeps his form perfect, and it takes him about four hours. The experience isn't fun, per se, but he gets a great sense of satisfaction once he's done. If you …

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Parent-Teacher-Student Teamwork

Because the monkeys refuse to let go of the fruit, the tribesman can easily capture the monkeys. The monkeys have, in essence, trapped themselves by holding on too tight. You won't let go of control, and so you become imprisoned mistaking control for security. Image Management Projecting to the world …

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Defending My Ideas

As I listened it was like he was brainwashing me. Then he told me he had had sex with a coworker and how it was okay because she really wanted to do it for him; He continued to drone on like a hypnotist, continuing to try to convince me that …

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The courage to get through the day

Rather than making me become semiconscious, as listening to music does, it actually heightens my awareness and engagement with the task at hand. Anytime you can use technology to improve your connection to yourself and your surroundings, do it. The Equipment Compromise The equipment we rely on every time we …

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On the Power of Concentrated Thoughts

You have been deceived, time and time again, and that is traumatic to your very being. And while you are addressing the lies and secrecy that come with deception, the impact of the trauma needs to be validated and articulated. The words trauma and betrayal afford that, therefore, in this …

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How much do you appreciate your strengths?

Take a deep, slow breath in from your diaphragm, which means your belly should expand more than your chest. Then take even more time on the exhale, letting yourself deflate like a balloon, as my friend, colleague, and breathing guru Wim Hof says. Take at least fifteen breaths like this …

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Understanding How You Think

Back in our little kayak together, talking about our lives, he asks about who Anne and Isaac and I are to one another. He hasn't understood that we're a family. I can feel him trying to figure us out--especially me. He asks questions and I don't mind. We're engaging with …

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We grieve relationships

It helped me stay with emotions that would previously have led to food binges or alcohol or drug abuse. There are many forms of meditation, but the type I find most helpful as a regular practice is just sitting quietly and being mindful of my breath. Contrary to some popular …

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Do you see areas where you can use less time?

You're just going to start following that app, and eventually it's going to be completely controlling your life, while you have the sensation that you're deciding. Adams and other critics of the self-quantification movement see that our phones, watches, and wearables promise insight, knowledge, and freedom, but what they really …

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How Can Anger Affect Your Life?

And how can it help those struggling with depression, anxiety, substance abuse, an eating disorder, or any other type of mental-health issue stay on track? Merriam-Webster defines literacy as the ability to read and write and as having knowledge or competence--the traditional definition of literacy as applied to the printed …

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That's how we learn and how we give back

We may think of emotions as falling primarily into two groups -- the unpleasant and/or excited feelings, and the calm and/or satisfied emotions. The first group tends to accompany the seeking effort of the organism, and the second to accompany satisfaction of the need, the consummatory experience. The first …

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Be the captain

Yet, there are many ways people can thrive in relationships, including polyamory, that get left out of this normativity. And of course, people can thrive without primary relationships too. Later, as you will read, I learned I was wrong. It's an older term that originated in the medical and psychological …

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I believe that positive change is possible for me

Seeing pictures of my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend on social media never takes me to a good place. I constantly compare myself to her in every way--looks, career, kids, finances, and friends. You name it, and I've compared it! Do you frequently compare yourself to others in real life or on social …

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The Keys to Your Laboratory

An example of polarized thinking is, I'm a complete failure, while my sister is a complete success or He's perfect at everything he does, and I'm a total klutz or I'm unlucky all the time, while my best friend is always lucky. In a nutshell, black-and-white thinking oversimplifies the fact …

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Hear yourself

The simplest answer seems to be the requirement of a background of conventional training in the whole field of psychology. That this is a necessary prerequisite to therapeutic training is disproved by the facts. Many psychiatrists become good therapists with almost no background in the general field of psychology. In …

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I experience others keeping their word

Raising the minimum wage, for instance, and providing affordable housing and health care. Social tools that build community and address the spiritual void that arises from materialism, like drum circles or community gardens, can also make a difference. When we focus on the financial, mental, emotional, and physical well-being of …

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By honoring what once was

Suppose we asked, what are his purposes in the course, what does he wish to learn, how can we facilitate his learning and his growth? A very different type of education would ensue. An educational program -- whether at the elementary, college, or graduate level -- which had the facilitation of learning …

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You must love in order to be loved

Whatever your issues, whether shopping, reactive anger, perfectionism, workaholism, or substance abuse, it's not easy to break conditioned responses. They're wired into you and it takes effort to disrupt the pathways. But science and history show it is possible. I don't want to label all coping behaviors as bad. Andrew's …

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Afraid of bankruptcy

But in this instance, Jan was coming up against a very real internal struggle between serving her family and serving herself. More often than not, she would skip the run and feel the consequences of doing so, perhaps in the form of bad food choices, restlessness in her desk chair …

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Nobody is going to like you if you keep misbehaving

Or consider the People of Color who have experienced trauma resulting from abusive police practices or know others who have. Or consider the fat people who are denied routine health care, like access to life-saving transplants or gender-affirming surgeries; Or consider the communities that face higher risk of cancer because …

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Liberty is slow fruit

So what's a busy person to do? The answer to that question is to connect to something deeper than what you see on the surface. Hang on--we'll explain. There are lots of things we all need to do that can feel like a drain. You gotta have something to whittle …

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The Power of Visualization

It acts behind the scenes, so, for example, if you feel discomfort with the temperature, you may put on a sweatshirt or strip down. Pleasure, pain, and distress are important aspects of the regulatory system as they motivate us to act in ways that support homeostasis and survival. The distress …

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Did your throat or stomach tighten in a knot?

As therapy progresses and other members gain from the experience, relationship between pre-therapy adjustment and quality of activity as a therapist disappears. However, throughout the course of therapy, the members who are initially most anxious and most hostile, as determined by Rorschach records, use criticism, evaluation, and disapproval to a …

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Invest When You're Ready

There is apparently an optimum amount of therapist participation. Telschow devised a measure of discord in groups and showed that the amount of discord is a function of the amount of participation on the part of the therapist. The therapist is not a passive member of the group; If he …

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Sometimes life just gets too big, doesn't it?

On the other hand, I use lowercase when referring to white people. This stylistic difference helps to bring attention to the systemic bias that typically centralizes white experiences and invisibilizes the experiences of Black, Brown, Indigenous, and other People of Color. Language is rarely easy, and this decision was made …

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I am willing to take good care of myself

The group therapy meetings planted the idea and then convinced me that the atmosphere of acceptance, warmth, real sympathy and responsiveness which existed during them is a vital part of everyone's life and that any risk involved is worth it. It is this background of acceptance, security, and understanding that …

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Guilt and Worries

If you find yourself getting sleepy well before your bedtime, get up and do something: call a friend, fold the laundry, do the dishes. This means no TV, computer, or radio while you're trying to fall asleep. These activities stimulate your brain and body and make falling asleep that much …

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Just a Walk in the Park (or Zoo)

What's the one thing I have in my toolbox--however small--that I can use to gain some leverage on this problem? Sadness I've lost something. Have I really lost this thing/person? Guilt I've violated someone else's rights. The third test, Fleming's Sociometric Test, asks the child to name two persons …

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Who already loves you?

Then it remained low until the eighth session, when it rose steadily until the end of therapy. Testing Limits maintained a constant level until the ninth contact, when it began a steady decline. Aggressive Statements reached a peak in the fourth contact, a slump in the fifth, and a second …

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Developing a Greater Sense of Self-Awareness

If you've ever felt too anxious or too frustrated to think clearly or handle a situation calmly, you know what we're talking about. We may not be able to solve whatever is going on with your kids, or at work, but we can help you get the emotion regulation you …

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Driver's Ed

You think you're bad because you ----. In each of these responses the attitude as well as the phrasing is such as to indicate that it is the client's evaluation of the situation which is being accepted. Little by little the client finds that it is not only possible but satisfying …

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