Unpleasant states of mind

He can even schedule, "8:30 pm -9:30 PM - goofing-off", if he wants. But now, whatever he does, he's doing it on purpose, with intention, and his evening is more likely to turn out satisfying to him. He still has to deal with distractions that would pull him away …

more ...

Was theactivity consistent with my values?

Its effects have in recent studies been likened to those of smoking and obesity combined. Centenarians living in Blue Zones' around the world, those living happily and healthily into old age, are invariably living in community. <a href='http://major.majz.com/t10-Aim-for-a-voice-and-tone-for-your-website-that-s-conversational-friendly-and-respectful.htm#p12'>(Blue Zones' are areas around …

more ...




How to oversome laziness

If you cannot do that, people will grow bored and walk away. Remember, they're going to ask "what's in this for me" and it's your job to show them as quickly as possible. So, when you meet, you should treat them like old friends - buddies that can rely on each …

more ...

Meeting someone for the first time

It reestablishes itself simply by noticing that it has not been present. As soon as you are noticing that you have not been noticing, then by definition you are noticing and then you are back again to paying bare attention. Mindfulness creates its own distinct feeling in consciousness. It has …

more ...

Overcoming habitual procrastination

The state bureau that issued his medical license first tried to persuade him to enter treatment. Many states have "impaired physician (and nurse)" programs, where doctors and nurses are identified and offered a plan in which a medical license may initially be suspended but restored when it is safe to …

more ...

Physical activity and pain

In that situation, I'm like a scared cat getting dipped in ice water - I'm not having that shit. But wrong in the sense that he failed to recognize my stubbornness would take me extremely far if I pointed it in the right direction and stayed consistently persistent. Calvin Coolidge said …

more ...

Verbal cues in a conversation

Our propensity to overvalue the things we have is exploited every day by the business community. Marketers understand that when we buy a product and take it home, the endowment effect will take over and we won't want to return it. And so, we see furniture retailers enticing us to …

more ...

When is it time to monitor?

In addition to the risks during surgery, there are also lasting side effects after the procedure, such as an inability to absorb certain vitamins and minerals and an intolerance to specific foods. Finally, the surgeries are not a guarantee against future weight gain. Research from McGill University in Canada suggests …

more ...

Where to find the science

I'm talking about knowing the essentials that will make you an expert on the opposite sex. There are universal rules to becoming likeable to the opposite sex, and once you know what they are you can decode a person's desire right off the bat. To some, it's known as their …

more ...

Why discipline is important

The more it hurts. The weaker you feel yourself getting. Stress from running isn't doing damage and it doesn't stop a lot of us from ever running again. If we run all of the time, it doesn't hurt that bad, it makes us stronger, and we enjoy it more. The …

more ...

Willingness is the key

(Though I wonder if this business will last now that California has legalized recreational marijuana.) And if she did have a heart attack while driving, wouldn't this force her to fly off the road and crash? As she keeps thinking these thoughts, her heart starts pounding, and her breathing becomes …

more ...

Do you feel shy in social situations?

These positive emotions in turn orient us to keep behaving in ways that promote our continued experience of these positive emotional states. And even when it seems like luck is not on our side and we can't catch a break, we can always stand behind our choice to do our …

more ...


Move a muscle, change a thought

It's done. Don't feel one way or the other about the future. See it as, "I'm busy dealing with today and I'll deal with the future when it gets here. I won't waste my time worrying about it." Try to avoid fast food' as it usually contains more fat and …

more ...

Stay up late instead of going to bed on time

When you put things down in print before you, they somehow become undeniable. If you want to move from the place you're currently at and into a better place, you'll need to have a clear awareness of the present spot first. A lack of action in either constitutes action for …

more ...


Challenge your thinking patterns

In addition, remember that it's important to begin building up a reserve of inner strength. One good way of doing that is by training yourself to stick with your more difficult tasks as you encounter them. Part of a habitual procrastinator's persona is to change direction immediately after he's faced …

more ...

How to merit and maintain others' trust

Pay attention to life, and maybe you'll discover and draw inspiration from your childhood experiences. Sometimes it also helps to develop these passions by diving into uncommitted ventures. By uncommitted, I mean activities in a nonprofessional sense. Perhaps you can volunteer or join an organization that will help you nourish …

more ...

How widespread is depression?

A variant, also ineffective, is having uniformed policemen come to schools and warn students about the laws against drug use and the misery of prison. They may feel good for the moment, especially for educators desperate to help, but these warnings also don't work. Rattling on about consequences is akin …

more ...

Pursuing happiness can make you sad

As a clinician, I see this all the time. It's hard to appeal to a child or adolescent about the need for "commitment to treatment" because they're young and feel invincible. They roll their eyes or give me an I-know-what's-better-for-me-than-you look. Though it's easier to plead this case to adults …

more ...

Socially inappropriate behavior

97% of us are borrowing money to create the illusion of having money and only 3% of us actually have money and own what it looks like we own. We think of debt-free as some kind of wonderful accomplishment when it's actually what normal is supposed to look like! Of …

more ...

When aha moments become defining moments

That you're only working for yourself because you think you're too good to have a normal job like everyone else. You will hear it all. There will always be an opinion lurking around the corner and it will come from a person who's inexperienced, unmotivated, and all talk and no …

more ...

Forget what other people think

If you are halfway through the scariest horror novel you ever read, your meditation is going to be full of monsters. So switch the order of events. Do your meditation first. Then read or go to the movies. Accept that anger, guilt, and fear may be making you ill (emotionally …

more ...


Progressive exposure

Another subtle culprit: margarine. Stick to real butter, as margarine is high in unhealthy trans-fatty acids, along with coloring additives and emulsifiers. Refined sugars. Avoid foods high in refined sugar, like cookies, most juices, and of course candy. The trouble is they have a detrimental effect on your blood sugar …

more ...

Rejoicing in your life

Spirituality, sometimes voiced as faith, is protective against alcoholism and drug abuse. Those who hold to a spiritual existence, who sense a more universal "power" than that possessed by humans, are less likely to develop an addiction. Holding to spiritual beliefs, to faith in its secular meaning, is instrumental to …

more ...

What is learned helplessness?

Yes, I did, good. What if it doesn't work this time... And so on. This is one form of anxiety disorder that is most prevalent among children and is associated with a particular stage of developmental psychology. As most experts in child psychology have long recognized, children go through a …

more ...

Do you make decisions easily?

That number was famously set by British anthropologist Robin Dunbar (and the number of meaningful friends we can have has duly been named "Dunbar's number"). He came to this while studying how primates groom one another, extending to humans the hypothesis that the average size of a species' brain reflects …

more ...

Give enough away to build interest

Here's how to make forgiveness a part of your recovery: Make a clear choice. If you've harbored resentment and a desire for revenge against someone for a long time, your mind will resist your attempts to reverse direction and forgive. To signal that you are serious about getting free, create …

more ...

Reduce negative influences

If you sit down expecting grinding drudgery, that is probably what will occur. So set up a daily pattern that you can live with. Make it reasonable. Make it fit with the rest of your life. And if it starts to feel like you're on an uphill treadmill toward liberation …

more ...

The sense that your life has meaning and purpose

We are never going to get anywhere unless we expect more of ourselves, the educational system, our government, and employers (who in turn need to expect more of their employees). Higher expectations across the board are what will inspire the creativity, imagination, and the can-do attitude we need to solve …

more ...

Trauma and tragedy

One Russian commander reported that when the soldiers stopped shaving, they stopped caring, they became sloppy and complacent, and more of them were killed. Superiors don't make soldiers shave, iron their uniforms, make their beds right, and keep their rooms spotless because it's fun. It's because they need soldiers to …

more ...


I feel safe in the rhythm and flow of life

There are several things you can do to manage the unhelpful impact that a fear of failure can have. The main problem with a fear of failure is that it tends to operate on an unconscious level. Think back to when you've had an opportunity to achieve something - to learn …

more ...

Sample a complaint sandwich

Sometimes, though, we need an even more explicit way to signal our request for interruption-free time, particularly when we're working from home. Using the same principles to block unwanted external triggers, my wife bought a hard-to-miss headpiece on Amazon for just a few dollars. She calls it the "concentration crown …

more ...

What is the purpose of pain?

It's just paper that comes and goes based on your logical decision-making process. Emotions and money are like fire and gasoline - together, they're completely destructive. Emotional sloppiness plus emotional attachment to money equals financial sloppiness. We spend during emotional highs because we feel good and then, we spend during emotional …

more ...