Reducing unfriendliness

This means you will set aside a certain period to interact with absolutely no technology. This might be a full day, a weekend, or a week. For many people, this kind of detox will be difficult; for other people, it sounds downright impossible. But it's not only possible; it is …

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Thought patterns and alternatives

It feels bad, but the positive intention of that pain is to protect you. It's the same with emotional pain; it can prompt you to take positive action. What about a difficult emotion such as regret? How can that be positive? The positive intent of regret is to prompt you …

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Tips for building and maintaining trust

The intensity depends on how much effort you are putting into it. To estimate the intensity of your physical activity, use the Talking Test. If you are able to talk while exercising, that is a moderate activity. If you are out of breath, that is a vigorous activity. Or you …

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How much stress is healthy?

Have more targets than you think you can hit. Be a little more ambitious than you usually are. Seek to accomplish more than you think you can. Les Brown says, Most people fail in life not because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and …

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How people read you

But, if we don't realize there is a problem to be solved or if we grow close minded against potential solutions, things can get a little messy. It's a pretty cool phenomenon if you think about it, but most people don't think about it and few of us ever take …

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Negative feelings assertion

People with this condition fear being with others and may avoid being around people or being seen eating in public or being in any situation where the person feels he or she is going to be evaluated in any way. Panic disorder is another way of describing a condition where …

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Pursuing a different happiness

You hit the button to switch to full screen. And you sit back for "just one more." This is the moment when you choose to keep watching TV instead of going to sleep at your bedtime, procrastinating on a goal behavior because it seems optional. What are the consequences? Right …

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Accessibility barriers

They grow up fast. Before long they won't be wanting you to do things with them; they will be out on their own. I work a lot at home: record keeping, book writing, repair projects, etc. But I made a rule: if Michael asks me to play with him, I …

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Can i really learn to control my anxiety?

As one former employee said of Slack, "They really did try to be a psychologically safe company. It's just that not everyone was equally skilled at maneuvering some of those nuances." Creating the kind of company where people feel comfortable raising concerns without the fear of getting fired takes work …

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Nervous? you're not alone

A phrase I often use to point out the five main mischief-makers in our culture's diet is "devitalized food." By this, I am talking about food that has had virtually every good or "vital" thing stripped or removed from it. You'll notice that most of the elements I mention above …

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Personalization and blame

They also reported decreases in perceived stress, depression, and anxiety levels. One of the most attractive traits anyone can have is a sense of humor, but some types of funny are less healthy than others. Researchers asked forty-three males and sixty-six females to complete questionnaires about their humor styles, subjective …

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Avoid personal responsibility

The right to choose is both a burden and privilege and it all started at a very young age. At first it's nothing more than, "Do I eat my peas and carrots?" All too soon, it becomes so very much more. As you get older, bigger, stronger, and "smarter," the …

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Don't worry about making them happy

It's not the only factor, but it is the most important factor. Lots of skills and abilities have to be in congruence to make this happen. Some folks in the stands may have been praying, and some may have been meditating. The one thing in common is that the focus …

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Keep a journal handy

If each one of us were to awaken to our own magical, self-healing potential and come to know simple, true comfort and happiness from within, we would be able to step aside from the constant seeking of bliss and into the lived experience of it. What if we weren't anxious …

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What can i do about my stress?

There are a wide range of different treatment options available for helping children, adolescents, and adults dealing with depression. Still, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, and the treatment that people with depression may receive will often depend on what symptoms they happen to be showing, their life history, the treatment …

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How can i do what matters to me?

Each month the bill is due, create a new line and fill in the information. Every time you get paid, after paying yourself 20%, develop the habit of opening Mint.com, your spreadsheet, or your other method of tracking bills and pay what you owe. This habit reinforces the bills …

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Know your stress patterns

So much action the whole day goes by and you don't even notice. Squeeze everything you can out of your days and life. Become aggressive about getting everything done. If you normally get up at 7 AM, get up at 4, 5, 6 AM and start earlier. If you take …

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Respond to your tasks in a logical way

As a result of his procrastinating, he not only feels inadequate to others, but worse, he may worry that he's becoming incapable of living any other way of life. Most of the time, he feels stuck, especially when faced with a complicated task, or one that he perceives of as …

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Talk back to difficult thoughts and emotions

Nevertheless, Rio de Janeiro in Brazil turned out to be the place with the kindest people on earth - more helpful than those in Copenhagen, for example - even though Rio has about twelve times more citizens than the Danish capital. (One curious thing: Copenhagen is a city where people are more …

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How did i end up this way?

In reality, they had no control over the light since the researchers were dictating whether or not to turn the light on. When asked to rate the level of control they felt they had over the light, the nondepressed subjects overestimated how much control they had, while the depressed students …

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Improving yourself

And sinking mind contains neither. At its worst, it will put you to sleep. Even at its best it will simply waste your time. Imagine you've planned a long sailing voyage. You've spent months preparing yourself and your boat. You've learned all you can about navigating through whatever the ocean …

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Visualizing the shoe switch

Realistically, though, that's a very conservative estimate, since those three hours and twenty minutes don't include the wasted time needed to get back on task between checking emails. In fact, a study published in the International Journal of Information Management found office workers took an average of sixty-four seconds after …

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Warm up your walls

Buying stuff in excess is not practical because I don't have enough space. Plus, I like to train myself to resist things to improve my self-discipline. Remember: Money is a replaceable resource. When you're out of it, you can earn it back. You can't say the same for time. Don't …

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How to be strong mentally and emotionally

For example, your keystone habit of going to sleep at the same time every night increases the chance you'll be able to roll out of bed when your alarm goes off. This can foster additional healthy habits, because you will have enough time to exercise (since you didn't hit snooze …

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How to overcome anxiety and panic?

Go out one day this week and only pay attention to the cues people use in conversation. Try to determine if someone is an audible, visual, or kinaesthetic thinker. Practice mirroring the posture and actions of a friend and ask them afterwards if it was obvious. Work toward a comfortable …

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Self-image and self talk

The best way to clarify the mental fluid is to just let it settle all by itself. Don't add any energy to the situation. Just mindfully watch the mud swirl, without any involvement in the process. Then, when it settles at last, it will stay settled. We exert energy in …

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Showing emotional support

SMART goals mean that: (S) you should know exactly what it is you want to achieve; (M) you should be able to measure your progress; (A) it should be possible for you to achieve it, though not too easy; (R) it should relate to your wider goals; and (T) you …

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Use your support systems

It's focusing on what you're giving to that person (which instantly brings you happiness as well as bringing the other person happiness) and allows the relationship to prosper. However, most people don't do this. They focus on what they're getting instead. Take my good friend Sarah and her husband Tom …

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Nervous habits such as drumming fingers

But trying to control everything is impossible; the difficult is preferable to the impossible. Wait a minute, though. Peace and happiness! Isn't that what civilization is all about? We build skyscrapers and freeways. We have paid vacations, TV sets; we provide free hospitals and sick leaves, Social Security and welfare …

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