Willingness is the key

(Though I wonder if this business will last now that California has legalized recreational marijuana.) And if she did have a heart attack while driving, wouldn't this force her to fly off the road and crash? As she keeps thinking these thoughts, her heart starts pounding, and her breathing becomes …

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Do you feel shy in social situations?

These positive emotions in turn orient us to keep behaving in ways that promote our continued experience of these positive emotional states. And even when it seems like luck is not on our side and we can't catch a break, we can always stand behind our choice to do our …

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Move a muscle, change a thought

It's done. Don't feel one way or the other about the future. See it as, "I'm busy dealing with today and I'll deal with the future when it gets here. I won't waste my time worrying about it." Try to avoid fast food' as it usually contains more fat and …

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Stay up late instead of going to bed on time

When you put things down in print before you, they somehow become undeniable. If you want to move from the place you're currently at and into a better place, you'll need to have a clear awareness of the present spot first. A lack of action in either constitutes action for …

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Challenge your thinking patterns

In addition, remember that it's important to begin building up a reserve of inner strength. One good way of doing that is by training yourself to stick with your more difficult tasks as you encounter them. Part of a habitual procrastinator's persona is to change direction immediately after he's faced …

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How to merit and maintain others' trust

Pay attention to life, and maybe you'll discover and draw inspiration from your childhood experiences. Sometimes it also helps to develop these passions by diving into uncommitted ventures. By uncommitted, I mean activities in a nonprofessional sense. Perhaps you can volunteer or join an organization that will help you nourish …

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How widespread is depression?

A variant, also ineffective, is having uniformed policemen come to schools and warn students about the laws against drug use and the misery of prison. They may feel good for the moment, especially for educators desperate to help, but these warnings also don't work. Rattling on about consequences is akin …

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Pursuing happiness can make you sad

As a clinician, I see this all the time. It's hard to appeal to a child or adolescent about the need for "commitment to treatment" because they're young and feel invincible. They roll their eyes or give me an I-know-what's-better-for-me-than-you look. Though it's easier to plead this case to adults …

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Socially inappropriate behavior

97% of us are borrowing money to create the illusion of having money and only 3% of us actually have money and own what it looks like we own. We think of debt-free as some kind of wonderful accomplishment when it's actually what normal is supposed to look like! Of …

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When aha moments become defining moments

That you're only working for yourself because you think you're too good to have a normal job like everyone else. You will hear it all. There will always be an opinion lurking around the corner and it will come from a person who's inexperienced, unmotivated, and all talk and no …

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Forget what other people think

If you are halfway through the scariest horror novel you ever read, your meditation is going to be full of monsters. So switch the order of events. Do your meditation first. Then read or go to the movies. Accept that anger, guilt, and fear may be making you ill (emotionally …

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Progressive exposure

Another subtle culprit: margarine. Stick to real butter, as margarine is high in unhealthy trans-fatty acids, along with coloring additives and emulsifiers. Refined sugars. Avoid foods high in refined sugar, like cookies, most juices, and of course candy. The trouble is they have a detrimental effect on your blood sugar …

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Rejoicing in your life

Spirituality, sometimes voiced as faith, is protective against alcoholism and drug abuse. Those who hold to a spiritual existence, who sense a more universal "power" than that possessed by humans, are less likely to develop an addiction. Holding to spiritual beliefs, to faith in its secular meaning, is instrumental to …

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What is learned helplessness?

Yes, I did, good. What if it doesn't work this time... And so on. This is one form of anxiety disorder that is most prevalent among children and is associated with a particular stage of developmental psychology. As most experts in child psychology have long recognized, children go through a …

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Do you make decisions easily?

That number was famously set by British anthropologist Robin Dunbar (and the number of meaningful friends we can have has duly been named "Dunbar's number"). He came to this while studying how primates groom one another, extending to humans the hypothesis that the average size of a species' brain reflects …

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Give enough away to build interest

Here's how to make forgiveness a part of your recovery: Make a clear choice. If you've harbored resentment and a desire for revenge against someone for a long time, your mind will resist your attempts to reverse direction and forgive. To signal that you are serious about getting free, create …

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Reduce negative influences

If you sit down expecting grinding drudgery, that is probably what will occur. So set up a daily pattern that you can live with. Make it reasonable. Make it fit with the rest of your life. And if it starts to feel like you're on an uphill treadmill toward liberation …

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The sense that your life has meaning and purpose

We are never going to get anywhere unless we expect more of ourselves, the educational system, our government, and employers (who in turn need to expect more of their employees). Higher expectations across the board are what will inspire the creativity, imagination, and the can-do attitude we need to solve …

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Trauma and tragedy

One Russian commander reported that when the soldiers stopped shaving, they stopped caring, they became sloppy and complacent, and more of them were killed. Superiors don't make soldiers shave, iron their uniforms, make their beds right, and keep their rooms spotless because it's fun. It's because they need soldiers to …

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I feel safe in the rhythm and flow of life

There are several things you can do to manage the unhelpful impact that a fear of failure can have. The main problem with a fear of failure is that it tends to operate on an unconscious level. Think back to when you've had an opportunity to achieve something - to learn …

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Sample a complaint sandwich

Sometimes, though, we need an even more explicit way to signal our request for interruption-free time, particularly when we're working from home. Using the same principles to block unwanted external triggers, my wife bought a hard-to-miss headpiece on Amazon for just a few dollars. She calls it the "concentration crown …

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What is the purpose of pain?

It's just paper that comes and goes based on your logical decision-making process. Emotions and money are like fire and gasoline - together, they're completely destructive. Emotional sloppiness plus emotional attachment to money equals financial sloppiness. We spend during emotional highs because we feel good and then, we spend during emotional …

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Reducing unfriendliness

This means you will set aside a certain period to interact with absolutely no technology. This might be a full day, a weekend, or a week. For many people, this kind of detox will be difficult; for other people, it sounds downright impossible. But it's not only possible; it is …

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Thought patterns and alternatives

It feels bad, but the positive intention of that pain is to protect you. It's the same with emotional pain; it can prompt you to take positive action. What about a difficult emotion such as regret? How can that be positive? The positive intent of regret is to prompt you …

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Tips for building and maintaining trust

The intensity depends on how much effort you are putting into it. To estimate the intensity of your physical activity, use the Talking Test. If you are able to talk while exercising, that is a moderate activity. If you are out of breath, that is a vigorous activity. Or you …

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How much stress is healthy?

Have more targets than you think you can hit. Be a little more ambitious than you usually are. Seek to accomplish more than you think you can. Les Brown says, Most people fail in life not because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and …

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How people read you

But, if we don't realize there is a problem to be solved or if we grow close minded against potential solutions, things can get a little messy. It's a pretty cool phenomenon if you think about it, but most people don't think about it and few of us ever take …

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Negative feelings assertion

People with this condition fear being with others and may avoid being around people or being seen eating in public or being in any situation where the person feels he or she is going to be evaluated in any way. Panic disorder is another way of describing a condition where …

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Pursuing a different happiness

You hit the button to switch to full screen. And you sit back for "just one more." This is the moment when you choose to keep watching TV instead of going to sleep at your bedtime, procrastinating on a goal behavior because it seems optional. What are the consequences? Right …

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Accessibility barriers

They grow up fast. Before long they won't be wanting you to do things with them; they will be out on their own. I work a lot at home: record keeping, book writing, repair projects, etc. But I made a rule: if Michael asks me to play with him, I …

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Can i really learn to control my anxiety?

As one former employee said of Slack, "They really did try to be a psychologically safe company. It's just that not everyone was equally skilled at maneuvering some of those nuances." Creating the kind of company where people feel comfortable raising concerns without the fear of getting fired takes work …

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