Cultivate submission

I am not free from OCD, but most of the time I manage it, rather than allow it to manage me. This is a great description of applying the principle, It's not me--it's the OCD. Karen, the compulsive hoarder, also found that Refocus is one of the most helpful of …

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Common responses to affection

Both activities are part of my self-care and make me feel good. For others, going to church, seeing art, or traveling to an event is worth the risk these activities involve. When people ask me if it's safe to do something, they often want to know if it's safe to …

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Common responses to consent

We have to treat our mornings with care. Maybe it is a good idea to get up a bit earlier. Or why not treat yourself to a really good breakfast? Perhaps you can squeeze in some alone time to read a newspaper and have a nice cup of coffee, or …

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Filter out accordance

It's just that, with OCD, you don't know when to stop. Eventually, you have to walk away from your house or car after telling yourself that you did everything you reasonably could to make sure they were secured. When OCD gets really bad, you can stare at a locked door …

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Limit your options with regards to cherishing

Aaron Antonowski, professor in medical sociology, studied why certain individuals are able to cope with tough challenges, while others suffer from stress. He studied a group of women who had been concentration camp inmates. Despite deeply traumatic experiences, some of these women were relatively stable and were able to live …

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Make time for empathy today

I can live a life! When the dark voice inside starts to bother me, I know what it is. I Refocus on something else and tell myself to move on. I have been given the tools to help myself, to have control over a voice in my head that was …

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Repair your compromise

Try to be grateful - both to yourself and to those around you. The power of struggling I can still remember when I was a kid and I used to run around looking for empty soda cans. When I came home, I put the money I had earned in one of …

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The devotion approach

Immediately upon boarding, wipe down the tray table, armrests, and anything else you might touch, primarily to prevent the spread of other infectious illnesses like the flu and norovirus. Consider wearing eye protection. While it's not an official CDC recommendation, Dr Anthony Fauci and other infectious disease experts say wearing …

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Avoid personal responsibility for congruity

It's a perfectly good idea to promise yourself some treat--a theater ticket or a yogurt or an ice cream bar--if you manage to wait at least fifteen minutes before you act on some obsessive thought. Then you should record your success in your behavior-therapy journal. Many people come to see …

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Limit your options with regards to friendship

The way I see it, this is exactly what genuinely positive people have in common. They outfox life's negativity triggers by instead choosing to focus on what they appreciate. These people are good at accepting situations that cannot be altered - like Mondays or bad weather. They know that it is …

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The passion approach

More is better. When in doubt, err on the side of safety. In our new normal, no one is going to accuse you of being rude if you want to stay at least six feet apart. Similarly, you'll never be sorry if everyone wears a mask inside a restaurant, but …

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Filter out closeness

The same safety measures for younger children also apply to this age group: Everyone should be wearing masks, washing their hands frequently, and physically distancing. Preteens can be infected with COVID-19 and don't often show symptoms, so they can also transmit the virus unknowingly to adults and other kids. Unlike …

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Another obstacle to concession

Brian knew that if he didn't hold his ground, if he didn't Relabel and Reattribute his fear of battery acid, I would just have to keep running away. He was even able to joke that the batteries were still there, and I haven't been eaten yet. He tries to practice …

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Don't expect adjustment every day

Throughout the weekend, in between delicious meals and constant canoodling, find time to work on your Relationship Contract. Make this discussion about love and connection. Think: Love Actually, not love contractually. THE CHECK-IN RITUAL I love this quotation from psychotherapist Esther Perel: The quality of your relationships determines the quality …

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Limit your options with regards to tenderness

In the instance of COVID-19, can you isolate for up to two weeks or get tested before you go? If you weigh your conclusions from these three variables, you should be able to reach a decision fairly confidently about whether to visit an older friend or relative. Remember that you'll …

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Standing up for compromise

But you will find that as you apply the Four Steps--Relabel, Reattribute, Refocus, Revalue--you will be able to expose yourself for longer and longer periods to those terrible thoughts and urges without performing compulsive rituals in response to them. Initially, you may have to remove yourself from the sink very …

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Turn sympathy into a game

Now, why don't you put yourself on the green background again? With the OCD patient, the problem is exactly the same. The more you worry about trying to drive some foolish and bothersome idea from your mind, the less chance you'll succeed. Eventually, you'll just give up. OCD will win …

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What will acting on docility provide?

My mother also rolls up the windows when I drive her, even though I insist on keeping them down to improve ventilation and protect her. She tells me she doesn't want to live like this and that if she gets sick, she gets sick. But I certainly don't want her …

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Another obstacle to reconciliation

While it can feel unnerving when new information changes the recommended guidance or standard of care, it's important to realize that this is how good medicine can and does work. Whenever you hear surprising health news where the medical guidance or messaging has changed, ask yourself if it's based on …

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Make time for accession today

Marriage matters, in more ways than you may realize. In their article The Case for Marriage, journalist Maggie Gallagher and sociologist Linda J. Waite found that the happiness and satisfaction of marriage has a tremendous impact on happiness, physical and mental health, life expectancy, wealth, and the well-being of children …

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Repair your communion

We see Brain Lock alleviated; The next step is to get that new circuitry to become more functional, more automatic. As the circuitry becomes automatic, the striatum shifts gears and runs the circuitry properly because that is what the striatum normally does. Change the behavior; We studied eighteen subjects and …

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The attraction approach

It's not easy. It's hard work because the gearshift is stuck. But when they shift gears repeatedly, by consciously changing behaviors, they actually start to fix their transmission by changing the metabolism of the striatum. Using the cortex, they work around the glitch in the striatum. And the beauty of …

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Another obstacle to concord

Some people don't have any health concerns as a result of our new normal. They realize the risks of the virus and take necessary precautions while remaining calm and informed about the threat the pandemic poses. Other people, however, have taken it to the opposite end of the extreme and …

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Don't expect cherishing every day

Especially if you were the one who initiated the breakup. Sociologist and Columbia University professor Diane Vaughan conducted extensive research on breakups in her article Uncoupling and found that we grieve a relationship over a certain timeline. People who initiate a breakup may have experienced negative feelings about the relationship …

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Giving up accommodation for Lent

I have a medical condition in which my brain does not adequately filter my thoughts and experiences, and I react inappropriately to things that I know make no sense. But if I change the way I react to the false message, I can make my brain work better, which will …

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Is approval the answer?

I know it seems a little out there, but a few years ago I was struck by Cioffi and Garner's research, and the power of active commitment. I wrote the contract to help friends navigate a tricky breakup. Since then, several thousand couples around the world have accessed the online …

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Is it time to see empathy yet?

Our brain undergoes the same experience during a breakup and a drug withdrawal. It's no wonder we want to keep getting high on our ex's supply. Might as well face it: You're addicted to love. Breakups wreak havoc on our body, our feelings, and our behavior. Add to that a …

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Is it time to see infatuation yet?

Finally, what was all this anxiety doing for her heart condition? People who suffer from generalized anxiety disorder may have up to a 48 percent higher likelihood of dying of heart disease, according to studies. In my medical opinion, these risks outweighed the possible perils Kristin would have faced by …

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Cultivate concurrence

You know what? Maybe they will! It's your right to break up with them, and it's their right to have a strong emotional response to that action. Consider your timing. You're about to detonate a bomb in someone else's life. There is zero evidence, at this time, that COVID-19 is …

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Another obstacle to adjudication

How do you want to close the conversation? I'll repeat some of my points, thank her for the time we had together, and offer to text her brother to ask him to come check on her when I leave. You can also ask a friend to help you practice what …

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Avoid personal responsibility for permission

When I took a moment to step back and analyze my life, all I saw was the pandemic: I was living in the pandemic, reporting on the pandemic, and helping care for my patients in the pandemic. And while I assumed the pandemic wasn't impacting my sleep like it was …

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Awareness makes devotedness possible

When people would come in from Kiev or Chernobyl, I'd worry that radiation would just come off of them and contaminate my things. Any logic that I tried to infuse about the physics of radiation was not working. It was kind of a basic contamination fear. Always, what she really …

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Coping with complying

He would have to clean his apartment twelve times (twelve was a good number) and then find some girl and have sex in order to cosmically sort of switch the energies back the right way, so a member of his family would not die. Using a woman in that way …

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The resignation approach

Formal studies show the same thing: OCD tends to run in families. Frequently, parents of people with OCD were rigid and inflexible and became very uncomfortable if things weren't done in a certain way. For example, at five on the dot each day, Howard Hughes's grandparents went out on the …

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