The perfect is the enemy of the good

Habitual procrastination causes its sufferers to feel like they're less than other persons, and it makes them feel sad, aimless, and unfulfilled in their lives. They also feel impatient and frustrated much of the time, as though "there isn't enough time" and "they'll never be enough time" to do all …

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Work towards a win-win outcome

That understanding must be our starting point for changing individual drug use and abuse, prescribing practices, family and social attitudes, and governmental policies. Let's embark on that trip together. Let's recognize and follow the policy and practice innovations that will take addiction far away from our towns and families. How …

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Avoid being a perfectionist

Most of us with anxiety or panic find this idea so overwhelming that we will never get started, however. If we do get into a situation in which we need to "face the fear" directly - especially if the experience has been forced on us - we are traumatized by the experience …

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Back to listening

Practice empathy. As we've seen, it's important to think of those who have offended you as ordinary human beings, not monsters. Every human act--even a horrific one--springs from a person's own toxic mix of anger, guilt, fear, and woundedness. We all act as we do because on some level we …

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Change your body, change your mind

This sense of isolation makes depressed people feel as if an invisible wall is preventing them from experiencing any kind of relief. And this wall often seems impossible to overcome. Not only do people who are depressed have difficulty describing what they are feeling to others but it can also …

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Incorporate more natural beauty products

Discernment is a third component of a present-moment orientation. It may be viewed as the capacity to hold all experience with kindness and compassion, supporting skillful choice around how we respond even though we may be experiencing reactivity. This is cultivated within mindfulness meditation practice, which is then generalized to …

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Letting go of unhelpful perfectionism

Upon closer examination, I usually found something that disqualified an ad from further consideration. In that case, it was simply on to the next one. One by one and posting after posting--I would go through a large assortment of ads from women who were seeking companionship. Every now and then …

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Pick your battles

Start small Do the smallest step that will get you started. For example: if you need to answer a difficult email, the first step would be to turn on the computer. Work it into your routine Tie a new, unpleasant task into your routine by adding it on to something …

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Take responsibility and make clear `i' statements

The problem with medication is that you end up having to take more and more and the effects wear off more quickly. My professional work then became principally in public health, first as the New York City mental health commissioner for five years, and now for over ten years as …

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The prosperity principle

Then, if some pain lingers, use it as an object of meditation. The first step is physical handling. Maybe the pain is an illness of one sort or another, a headache, fever, bruises, or whatever. In this case, employ standard medical treatments before you sit down to meditate: take your …

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What can i do about pain flare-ups?

Next think of bigger events - a job, a project at work, a holiday, a relationship or friendship where things didn't turn out well. What thoughts went through your mind or could have been going through your mind? How did you feel? Write it down. It's useful to remember these four …

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Draw on confidence to be sure of self

The belief was that if we don't take justice into our own hands, no one else will act on our behalf, leaving the door open for more trespasses of our boundaries. And yet, ask yourself, Which is a bigger sign of weakness: letting the offensive actions of someone else determine …

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Make friends feel competent

The attachment bond has been a big part of my arrival to these conclusions. I would not be who I am today had I not possessed those feelings of restlessness, wondering what would happen to me and how it would all turn out. View each event as a huge blessing …

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Never overload your schedule

They will grab quick meals because they are so absorbed with taking care of their child. They try to do it all and end up exhausted physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Self-care has gone to the bottom of their priority list at the time when they probably need it the most …

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Thought patterns and alternatives

Once you have left them you can put your energy into finding a new job or somewhere to live instead of spending your energy trying to please, pacify or avoid the bully or abuser. You do have a choice about how to respond. Think positively; think about keeping yourself safe …

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Becoming anxiety free

In fact, switching to black can actually increase the penalties given to a team. The Pittsburgh Penguins switched to black uniforms during the 1979 to 1980 season. During the first forty-four games, when they were wearing blue, the team averaged eight penalty minutes per game. For the final thirty-five games …

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Hyperactivity and stimulation

Break it twice, you awaken skepticism. Break it again and you've lost all credibility. No one will ever take you seriously. They don't actually believe you respect them, their time, or your relationship with them. They believe you're selfish and don't care about anyone but yourself - and they're right. Not …

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Thoughts and values

For example: "In a sense, my habitual lateness, just like my habitual procrastination, was my way of refusing to be tied down by a demanding world." Avoid being a perfectionist. "Still, in spite of whatever losses I had incurred, as far as I was concerned, having an appointment diary was …

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What do i like about myself?

Will they instantly start laughing and flapping their arms in reference to inside joke you shared with them? Part of interacting with other people is learning how to leave a powerful, lasting impression on them. Whether you're on a date, in a business meeting or on a job interview, the …

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What need do you want to meet?

But when anyone begins a process of change, it's usually not a great idea to set the hardest goal first. You want to take small steps that you can more easily accomplish and that will build confidence as you test out a more imperfect, vulnerable self. Remember, you want to …

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When you feel bad, reach out and touch something

TM, or transcendental meditation, best describes this form of meditation in which mantra is often celebrated as a gateway to sublime and natural `out of body' experiences. The philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein wrote, "A depressed man lives in a depressed world." Similarly, the way we view the world is critical to …

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Your body is surprisingly gullible

No doubt that the idea of a little extra cash is motivating! Then you start brainstorming. "How can I best reach that goal?" That's when the creative juices start flowing. You outline a schedule that allows you to maximize your time and begin your day by establishing the right tone …

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Do a daily debrief

Picture yourself going up stairs and chasing after a child without getting winded. These are some of the rewards of becoming a fit person. Allow these mental images to creep into your consciousness so that you can feel what it's like to be a regular exerciser. It's a little like …

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How other people see you

Thus, the way the hypothesis is framed can have a major impact on our final judgment. Our bias to confirm can also affect how we search for information. For example, what if you didn't know Barry, but you had to decide if he's an extrovert by asking him two of …

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Jumping to conclusions

Worried that someone will call you on your bravado? If you're honest and confident in your own presence, the worst that can happen is someone else will develop a problem with you - it's not your issue. They have a problem and you cannot solve it. They need to do that …

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Strategies to have a positive mind

Let's just say that if you are able to squeeze in exercise followed by dinner plans, there is a chance you might not be able to squeeze in a shower as well. Just hope you're with someone who has a weak sense of smell! When establishing an exercise habit--especially if …

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Building your self-esteem and confidence

The good news is that as a result, mindfulness is reaching a broad constituency. The bad news? These applications of mindfulness may well be missing something vital, a connection to its historical roots with the risk of being diluted, open to misinterpretation, or stripped of its ethical foundations. The contemporizing …

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Concerned for the well-being of others

As a study published in the Review of General Psychology notes, "If satisfaction and pleasure were permanent, there might be little incentive to continue seeking further benefits or advances." In other words, feeling contented wasn't good for the species. Our ancestors worked harder and strove further because they evolved to …

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Where there's a will there's a way!

Please keep in mind that it's important to just get some movement into your routine, no matter what type it is. Don't worry if you are not doing the recommended level of activity yet--this can be a long-term goal to work towards slowly. A word here about the risks inherent …

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Divorce can be contagious

Every two hours or so, sit down and write about what you're thinking at that very moment. Just don't get scared of yourself. Most of our thoughts make no sense at all. We're conflicted as a species. Descartes also reviewed his own thoughts and found many contradictions. His most important …

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