What does it feel like there?

The chair that now sits empty at the table for Thanksgiving. But those who are gone--our parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, friends and family--are only truly gone if we fail to live as they in their finest moments sought to live. They are only truly gone if …

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I am strong and organized and capable

Yet even among these students, maintaining attention is a major struggle. I occasionally roll it out at talks to share as an anecdotal lesson for several themes. One of the questions I'm commonly asked is, 'Which words do the kanji represent? It's nice at times to be left wanting a …

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We are meant to interact

When we examine how overwork impacts an employee's well-being and long-term health, the story becomes far more disturbing. The social psychologist Christina Maslach was a trailblazer in the field of burnout research in the 1970s and '80s. She initially set out to understand burnout among people in what we call …

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Identifying Triggers

Wall-E relates to current global topics of over-consumption, the state of our planet and over-reliance on technology -- with human beings becoming overweight, somewhat dim and lazy. Can't we stop our nervous lives a seventh of the time for something better? Death is a wake-up call to find an antidote to …

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Their Effects

Thanks to digital tools, automation, increased computer processing speed, and a ton of other factors, it now takes the average worker just eleven hours to complete what would have been forty hours' worth of work back in 1950. In addition to working more hours, employees today report higher levels of …

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You have to be kind

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the basement shack with a steaming cup of coffee, where I sat down and turned the dial up on my ham radio. I came across an older-sounding fella with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. He was telling whoever he was …

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Final Thoughts on Developing Self-Discipline

It is as if the forces we had conquered have conquered us. Materialism caused suffering then, and things have become even worse in the seventy years since Heschel first penned his warning. The folly of confusing the material with the spiritual is nothing new. The Hebrew prophets, Jesus, Muhammad, and …

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Grease Monkeys and Yard Hands

His true religion, his salvation, was hard work, and I, his son, was raised in the temple of sweat. Second, the opportunities for a rabbi to teach, to build, to comfort, and to create are limitless, and therefore I thought my efforts must also be without limit. You might think …

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I am willing to support and protect myself

I tell Irv about my friend Barry, who discovered the pace of God time after his brother died by suicide. After Max's dead, necrotic gallbladder was discovered and taken out of her body, she finally got to enjoy some much-needed bed rest, and a break from her grueling job at …

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The Perceiving Brain

Stories give shape, form and context to all facts and data. Storytelling, especially in business, is often delivered as a data download or cold, plain facts. Juan Carlos had been driving home from his cousins' house early that Sunday morning, when he fell asleep and crashed into a tree. He …

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What Do Your Kids Need from You?

When you have a lot of responsibilities on your plate, your instinct is probably to hunker down and get as much done as possible. However, a lot of research suggests it's better to hit the pause button, find time to be lazy, and see what realizations and reactions come bubbling …

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Fearing Money

The mainstream model drafted and released was simplified to a five-stage version. When working in-depth with professionals, the expanded theoretical version encompassed 10 to 13 stages. This included others from the positive-feeling end of the spectrum, such as hope. Any suggested processes for handling an impending face-to-face meeting with death …

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You go on by being generous

The secret of that final dying word, 'Rosebud', remains undiscovered by the reporter. When his estate is being sold, some items are discarded and destroyed. As the heat disintegrates the aged layers of dust, dirt and paint the word 'Rosebud', the name of his childhood sled, is revealed to the …

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Create stronger relationships with others

Conversely, characters who face limitations and personal challenges such as physical disabilities or mental illness are almost always portrayed as villains or comical side characters deserving of pity but not respect. John Wick has become an iconic action film character because he defeats throngs of enemies almost entirely on his …

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Explain your personal concept of the heart

The musical comedian Bo Burnham (whose career started on YouTube) describes this phenomenon very well: Don't take advice from guys like me who've gotten very lucky. Taylor Swift telling you to follow your dreams is like a lottery winner saying 'Liquidize your assets! A trip to his village 25 kilometres …

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On Challenging Times

We've had to trade our health for our financial or professional well-being, choosing between getting adequate time for rest, exercise, and socializing and logging enough hours to get by. Tragically, many of us do this not out of paranoia but because we know just how economically vulnerable we really are …

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On Guidance

When we say someone is lazy, we're saying they're incapable of completing a task due to (physical or mental) weakness, but we're also claiming that their lack of ability somehow makes them morally corrupt. It's not that they're tired or even dispirited in some way we might sympathize with; The …

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Financial independence

It might seem counterintuitive, but pretending a person was perfect at his or her funeral often makes the family feel worse, not better--as if the funeral were a kind of theater piece that they were knowingly a part of. Of course, this truth-telling has to be done artfully in the …

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I always clean my plate no matter what

He had struggled intermittently with ideation of suicide for at least ten years and chose the least violent, least dramatic means that he could conceive. As a result, many of us live in a constant state of stress about our financial and professional futures--which means feeling a ton of anxiety …

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The courage to honor a commitment

That solitary silence has followed me like a shadow in the five decades since, a theme relevant both here and later when we drill into the perception of relationship value. My father, a naval veteran for 20-plus years, was frequently transferred base-to-base or away at sea for months at a …

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You're not sure what's wrong

I spent so much time there that I never bothered to buy furniture for my home or set up a home Internet connection. Then, about two weeks before I was scheduled to present my dissertation, I caught a nasty case of the flu. I trudged into the office every day …

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Expect Nothing, Accept Everything

And those final words are usually both terse and perfect--the distillate of an entire life. These sorts of questions are a part of being fearless with those who are dying. You can ask these sorts of questions even if you are not going to formally eulogize them at their funeral …

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On Believing And Focusing On The Good

It's not easy to sit back and watch our loved ones encounter struggles or experience pain. When things get really bad, there are always ways out. Sometimes people are in abusive relationships and have a strong fear that if they leave, they will be harmed. I'm mostly referring to choices …

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This little flute of a reed you have carried

I also understood that this man was not going to leave any stones unturned. It would require great courage for me to see it through. Like a lion scratching at his cage, eager to be set free, Ed's questions were like the keys to the lock that had kept me …

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Speaking Engagements

Or shall I say, how scarring what one learns to define as love can be. When I was throwing my articles on my bed, and dashing to Vinny's house a few blocks away because he was timing me to see how quickly I could get there after school, I believed …

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Afraid of losing clients

Setting the priorities and following them up help people to be more focused and task-oriented. It helps in making a person into a go-getter and a winner. Setting up and accomplishing the task is a great way to achieve one's goals and aspirations and further targets newer heights and goals …

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Afraid of not having enough

And the person who does not value and care for it, time hardly stands on the side of that person. Slowly, my views about my world began to turn around. No longer certain I was going to end up a cat lady in a studio apartment in Manhattan, new ideas …

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Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road

If we look out for the dictionary meaning of the word consistent, it says, The ability to remain the same in behaviors, attitude, or qualities. or acting or done in the same way over time, especially so as to be fair or accurate. If we talk in simple terms, we …

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Afraid of having to live hand-to-mouth

If it's not forthcoming the first time, ask for it again. It's horrible being in a position of needing help, but we've all been there. It feels vulnerable, weak, and hopeless, but asking for help is an act of hope, courage, and strength because it takes us from that disempowered …

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Kitchen (and Laundry) Duty

The man stared coldly toward the stage as an audience runner made his way to him with a microphone. Social media gives us a gateway to hate and division, but it also provides access to people, just like you and me, who are banging the drum, marching to their own …

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Final Thoughts: There's Always A Way Out

My mother was a tense woman, and cleaned in what most would consider a neurotic fashion. I was little, maybe ten, and she'd ask me to clean, or vacuum. She'd inevitably grow frustrated with my attempt at cleaning, and lash out in anger, making me feel wrong for even trying …

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