The courage to love and to create

I supposed maybe my mother wasn't so wrong for not showing me the validation I craved so much. I couldn't fit in, not even with kids who had never met me before. The disease of invisibility was beginning to take me over. My father was the one who told us …

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The problem of my life is my boss is too hard on me

Well, you know me, she began, I always start with the literature--Robin Fox, David Schneider, Kath Weston, Helen Fisher. Over the years, Bell has been the source of some epic reading lists. From there, she continued, I would want to remind your client that relationships, kinship, marriage, and even love …

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I receive daily kindnesses

Dealing with disagreements when they arise provides everyone with the opportunity to convey their needs and for expectations to be renegotiated with clarity and compassion and a shared willingness to listen and to hear, not just awaiting a turn to speak. He would say things like, Why don't you kids …

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You need to learn to be responsible

Once we set down this path of boundary work, the inner resistance can present itself in these multiple persuasive and self-doubting thoughts: Am I being selfish? These thoughts put into question why we're bothering to change and undermine our confidence and self-worth all at the same time. The important factor …

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Love is actually for everyone

Aunt Jane did that a lot when she got nervous. Jane, take the pot roast out at five o'clock. He didn't listen. Six months later he quit his job, broke his lease, and hightailed it back to Boston. The moral of the story? If you love something--sports, music, hiking, theater …

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To replace bad with good

Yes, that was a dark time, Greg said, adjusting his jacket. It was the Cold War. When we compare the highlights reel of the people in our feeds (because that's pretty much what social media is) to our reality, it's skewed well out of our favor. The comparison between carefully …

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From voicing your needs?

This is bonkers, she said finally, looking up. I think you can do it, I replied. When we're driving in the car and the questions are competing with tunes on the radio, and we can't think for the sound around us, we can offer an option: Music or questions? Perhaps …

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You're old enough to handle this on your?

You're not good at this, and you struggle with that, you're never going to be able to . Those things don't happen for people like us. I didn't know what felt worse, not knowing why I got beaten up, the pain from being beaten up, the humiliation of being beaten up …

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Cultivating a Foundation for Peace

Encourage Decision-Making from an Early Age So much of a child's life is made up of a routine they've had no say in. My step-grandmother Elizabeth married my grandfather after the suicide. My grandfather was in danger of losing his four children to child services due to his neglect of …

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Feeling Embarrassed

We might have a grasp on who we are, who we'd like to be, what we'd like to do, and a list of things we wish we either did or didn't do. It feels simple enough, doesn't it? Not every engineer is Isambard Kingdom Brunel, but even if their abilities …

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Incompatible people

When we become lax with our boundaries, our identity can merge with the identities of others, and we feel a bit lost and untethered. We're not sure where our choices begin or end, who we are, or what we genuinely like, love, or dislike. That just means you have even …

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Sit with me

I said, not exactly sure what had just transpired. Okay, futurist, bye. If our childhood included trauma, neglect, and pain, then boundaries have been obliterated from the beginning. Having to teach what we've not been taught can feel like walking on sand: unsure of our footing, scared of making mistakes …

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The Physiology of Anger

I am washed. I am made anew, and it is my deepest desire to help others get clean too. Listen to the words and take action from there. So how can I help? That's a good question, she answered. How can you help? Dad says you help big companies and …

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What can I do about these?

I'd pretend not to notice the circles of kids playing handball, or running through the sprinklers. I would pedal past them quickly, wearing a determined look across my face, hoping somehow to make others think that in fact I had somewhere to go. She was working in animation, just not …

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Personal Trainer and Coach

I'd met Tara at a town hall I had participated in that explored the future of technology and the American dream. The event had been held on the campus of Iowa State University in Ames, Iowa. Some are inconsequential, but others have the ability to shift our life path and …

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What if I forgave myself?

Perhaps you feel kind of sad, but you know you're still fit for work, and while you may have to make some tough calls along the way, it won't be too long before you busy yourself with a new job. The previous two paragraphs were the exact same sequence of …

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Let's get everyone involved to support you

I've attended meetings where I've been bored witless and left not really grasping what the meeting was even about. The good meetings were always few and far between. Remember, going about pleasing people will only fulfill their goals, without any consideration for you. Even if you genuinely care about helping …

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Modern-Day Alchemy

The old rule of thumb was that your housing costs should be roughly 30 percent of your household's monthly budget. However, that ignores transportation costs, which can be significant if you have a long commute to work. I'd feel so worried that I'd done that enough times that I appeared …

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Points and Portals

How to Play Wants and Don't Wants is a game that helps us get a clearer view of our desires through first highlighting what we do NOT want in our lives. It did sound like a slogan. But just because a phrase is catchy doesn't mean it can't also be …

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Postgraduate Participation

Or it might come as a reassurance saying that if you need them, they will do their best to be there. So, gratitude not only helps us build a sustainably happier life through better hormone production, it also forges the long-lasting relationships needed to set our own rock-solid stage (see …

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About The Author

Smartphones are designed to look streamlined and cool and, above all, effortless to use. The designers don't want you to think about the tens of thousands of hours it took people to make it. If you like music better and find it easier, then you should definitely use the music …

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Emotional eating

Anyway, besides luminaries like Gore and Blair, at the Boston-based Founders Live event I also found myself sitting next to average-looking people who were doing extraordinary things. I met a college student who was working on her second start-up, aimed at transforming the way food is packaged. To counteract this …

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Finding My Brave Self

With regard to meditation and religions or attitudes towards life, which have meditation as their core element, one often hears the saying that the path is the goal. In doing so, you are already fulfilling the purpose of meditation by practicing it. I could feel some breathing room open up …

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Put differences aside

Meditation in the classic sense is therefore rather unsuitable for children who, on the one hand, do not have this ability and, on the other hand, do not even feel the inner need for change and inner peace. But as you have learned earlier in this article, there are many …

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The Checkered History of Parenting Advice

Let me show you what I mean, starting with the second point; When you were younger, you might have bought a doughnut there every day, but maybe now you're trying to cut down for whatever reason. On TV they look polished and professional, but when you're walked out onto a …

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Being in the moment is healing

Your focus is on feeling the air rush through your nose as you breath. This feeling represents your meditation object in the context of this meditation exercise. This is only a half-truth. Acceptance or rejection isn't just a matter of what you can provide, but also a matter of what …

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Constructive Thinking

Honestly, that doesn't sound bad, but it might freak out my husband, Patrick. I paused here to explain that defining the future requires incredible attention to detail. Distribute your weight evenly between your two feet. Now shift your weight alternately on your left and then on your right foot, so …

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Disruption of current life

If you still have fears around being assertive, start small, where it is easiest; The next key skill is learning. That's right, Susan agreed. At first, it was scary to even contemplate a different kind of future, because the corporate salary has given us everything. Everything but purpose, that is …

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