Take care of your safety

If we have ADD, we generally have a shortened attention span, although if something has really turned on our focus center we may be able to stick with it for a long time. We're on a roll. We're in hyper-focus. What did you tell yourself about yourself? Were you self-critical …

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Face your problems head-on

Unable to meet their own needs and incapable of meeting each other's, the couple, (possibly your parents), look outside themselves to a third possible alternative, what about a baby! A baby would give them a joint focus, something to create together, and a tangible way to partner that is as …

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Learn what you can

The picking on each other started and continued. "If she could drop just a few pounds." "That laugh is so shrill." "Those socks are too short," and "I can't stand the way he drives." "He watches way too much TV." "She is so uptight about money," your parents might have …

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Plan for the unexpected

Instead she must adapt a false self in order to cope with her world. This is a coping mechanism or facade. The compulsive drive to feel whole, complete, adequate, and euphoric in any form comes from the innate emptiness or void inside. The pursuit of inner peace or wholeness takes …

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Stand up for what you believe

My first experience with brain freeze was on my first test in college. It was a chemistry test, the first test in my life that I had any doubt about. I wrote my name on the answer sheet, looked at the questions, didn't have a clue, and froze. My brain …

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Discover your rainbow

But where do the "I cant's" originate? How do they become imprinted? When do we internalize them as our own? Why do we do this? These are good questions and deserve a thoughtful response, but first it is essential that the issue of loyalty be addressed. Your parents brought you …

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Acknowledge your choices

The answer from the adults was no answer at all. We love to hate it, but it would be a mistake to underestimate the role that exercise plays in helping to upgrade the body's ability to be an effective anti-stress "surge protector." According to researchers at the Mayo Clinic, exercise …

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Create a mindset for change

We can also create such an environment as well if needed. Impulsivity means you're more willing to take risks and have a bias for action, act now while the opportunity is hot instead of getting into analysis paralysis. Many entrepreneurs have ADD i.e. Paul Orfalea who founded Kinko's, JetBlue …

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Keep your life balanced

At least I didn't have to call my wife for help. It's always a moral victory and a personal triumph when I can find something without needing my wife's help. Premature Invalidators can be protective in nature, keeping you from trying new things so you won't be disappointed. On the …

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Select healthy coping skills

Brain freeze may be new to you, but it's a significant problem if you have it. Let's go through these problems and, of course, some strategies for coping with them. That was slow and laborious. Then I realized I could use the "find and replace" tool in Microsoft Word. I …

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Don't normalize stress

Able to run 14 apps at a time and effortlessly switch between each without breaking a sweat. Able to do several projects at a time with ease. You're able to keep going on a project (if it's interesting, ADDers are more into creative and entrepreneurial activities than clerical and repetitive …

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Setting a consequence

It's not so difficult, but it is required. It's okay if you're skeptical. Consider opening up your mental door of possibilities. This is your journey into the workings of your inner self. The journey that will enable you to start understanding you and what it takes to make changes that …

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Dealing with someone who is not cooperating

For example, I have had students as well as clients who were afraid to try to succeed because they feared that they would fail, which was worse than actually trying and failing. They never excelled in anything because they never even tried to do so, despite their often strong potential …

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Expressing an opinion

Wrong! In fact, achievement perfectionists are likely to be in a state of constant anxiety, whether or not they are producing good prose. They never know when the productivity might come to a screeching halt. If Julia has been mean or disrespectful in the past, it may very well be …

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Creativity and follow through

For them, a good relationship is one where people leave each other alone. Unfortunately, that's not the whole picture. Life would be much simpler if you only had to deal with only the "I cans." Have you ever heard voices that say the exact opposite and talk you out of …

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Don't let physical limitations stop you

Not being able to see didn't help either. The vision problem has nothing to do with ADD, unless there's some brain damage affecting both, which I doubt. With no fine motor coordination nor ability to see, I couldn't play baseball or basketball, but I could play in the line, somewhat …

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Pick a good time

We sometimes hear about near-death experiences from the news or even from someone we know and trust. These mysterious and powerful experiences usually involve a person being pronounced clinically dead for a few minutes but who is then brought back to life. It is fascinating, and for many of us …

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Current state of the field

And if we are closely involved with them, it's helpful if they know about and understand our ADD problems, although we need to use some care in who and what we tell. We can let others know what kinds of things are helpful to us and what kinds of things …

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Having to take charge

Do you let others know how you are feeling on the inside? Do you ever look for something you have done wrong, thinking that there must be something? If so, give an example. Do you ever feel like you are putting one over on others who are impressed with you …

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Giving and receiving praise

I texted my friend and didn't get a response! How could I NOT feel anxious and upset?" The problem is that this statement assumes that everyone would feel the exact same way about this event as you do. Although many people feel anxious when a friend doesn't text them back …

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Giving and receiving criticism

Nevertheless, your choice of the first guiding virtue to work on will depend on what type of perfectionist you are. For example, if you are an achievement perfectionist, then adopting and working on unconditional self-acceptance as your guiding virtue can help you overcome the self-destructive tendency to belittle yourself when …

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Asking someone to change their behaviour

But if you take the time to calm your body down, turn off your fear-based reactive brain, and turn on your thinking brain, you will be in a much better place to respond to the specific event that triggered your anxiety. The key is "think small." In fact, the smaller …

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What are your communication challenges?

This respect avoids damning the world as a whole just because it has some negative aspects. Instead, you appreciate that an imperfect world, where there are bad or undesirable things, can still be a good place. So, for example, despite the existence of poverty, sickness, and death, you do not …

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My own experience with body types

Some of these findings also indicate that volunteers who devote a considerable amount of time to volunteer activities (about 100 hours per year) are most likely to exhibit positive health outcomes. I ran the samples. One day I got a very high number. I thought they'd found a really rich …

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Cultivate acceptance

The only problem was, I couldn't do it. I couldn't decide what temperature the bouncing dial was reading. That flustered me and I couldn't keep up. We all got pretty frustrated, as well as hot. The engineers uneasily decided to let me try the driving while one of them did …

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Acknowledging the problem

I just finished reading about this guy!" These two men are close in age, good athletes, intelligent, and have frustrated parents who are sometimes critical and tired of supporting them. Both men have difficulty with bosses, with holding a job, and with finding a field that works for them. This …

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Personal and professional training

In each of these instances, your fear-threat system -- the part of your brain that is supposed to help you respond to imminent threats to your health and safety -- is actually being hijacked by something that may be concerning but is certainly not an imminent threat. What difference does this make …

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Dealing with disappointments and setbacks

In this case, return to normalcy or homeostasis is linked to getting rid of the stressor--namely, eliminating the lack of approval. Anxiety, on the other hand, is akin to suffering a pinched nerve in the brain's fear-threat system. The pain is real enough, but it's the result of something happening …

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Implementing your plan

Not if we have ADD. That was on the notes home from school, "Johnny needs to try harder." Then we had to deal with the reaction from home. "Why don't you try harder?" (the underlying meaning of Wilton's "You can do better." ) This had a significant effect on us, on …

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How you cope with emotions makes a difference

We need to receive positive reinforcement for accomplishing things, even if we have to give it to ourselves, which is often the case. We're not good at rewarding ourselves and we need to intentionally practice. We can set up rewards as a motivating factor for a specific task. Just the …

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When things get hard

I do. Interestingly, Dotty notes that she has also become less critical of other people and she is getting along better with some of them, not just with her husband. Therapy can produce some wonderful results. Flare-ups are a normal part of life for those with persistent pain. Many flare-ups …

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