Keep your mind silent and watch the ending of all worlds

My grandfather was a true physician, not only because of his knowledge or clinical acumen, but also because he tended to his patients where they lived and worked. He made house calls, even in the middle of the night, for treatments ranging from minor surgery to counseling--he was always ready …

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The courage to have an open heart

I went back to work eight weeks after the baby came. I remember the utter exhaustion of sleeping for three hours, going to work, then running home to nurse, cook meals, and start the routine all over again. Every night my husband would drag me out of one of our …

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Wait until they find out

Compartmentalizing starts at a young age. For example, you may listen to your parents argue night after night, but when you go to school the next day you act as if everything is fine; Perhaps your mother told you how worthless you are, or you wonder why your father doesn't …

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What do my kids need most from me?

The goal is to become wise, correct? Right now, we're acknowledging some stereotypical definitions of foolish activity. But, let's think a little more real world by examining some circumstances that don't seem foolish, but also don't inspire wisdom. How about the couple that never goes out on date nights, because …

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How could you find out more about these?

The combination of coaching and technology can help you in (1) identifying the error and physiological changes, (2) knowing what to do about it, and (3) recognizing if your adjustment actually fixes the dysfunction. It could be as easy as just slowing down! You can also use a heart rate …

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I am renewed every day

Do what you're told. And most important, never talk outside of home. We didn't air our dirty laundry, whatever it was. Combine that with the idea that we were only to show good feelings, which of course meant to suppress anything that wasn't a happy face. Don't feel. My sister …

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Information is volunteered

Do I have trouble falling asleep at night because my mind is always moving? A Juggling Act BALANCE, INTERNAL STABILITY, AND HOMEOSTASIS Homeostasis: The tendency of the body to create internal stability and equilibrium, despite stressors. It is the body's need to have balance. Homeostasis is the concept that our …

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Taking criticism on the chin

I was a sex toy for him. By late adolescence, I felt so degraded and worthless I set out to prove I was of value. I'd go to bars, flirt, drink, and see how many guys I could attract. It was a vicious cycle because in the moment I would …

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The La-La Song

Obsession has a negative stigma tied to it. It's included in many clinical disorders, the most commonly known being obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). People look in disgust at the straight A student who complains about a 96 on their exam. They see someone who constantly slaves over their work, and …

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Choosing the Outcome

A natural consequence of being raised in a shame-based family, very often an abusive or addictive family, is that the child grows up to be an ideal partner for an addict, one whose trauma and childhood survivor traits enable him to act out his addiction with little disruption. I look …

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Declutter Your Brain

Lots of people work hard. Lots of people slave day-in and day-out at their jobs and never seem to advance to better opportunities. Andrew Carnegie treasured his education and continued to build up the bottomless chest of wisdom. This is also important when trying to save the world. He started …

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Expectations

After all, big men are not supposed to be depressed. Addictive behavior--whether it's satiation, arousal, or fantasy--can be a cover to depression. In our society, it is far more acceptable for a man to get treatment for addiction than to be diagnosed with and treated for depression. It is considered …

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Planning Is Everything

When I work with skiers, I tell them to focus on the feeling of speed and fluidity, not a specific metric. If I'm stopping to look at what my heart rate monitor is telling me, it's not doing me any good. Now, if I'm recording my heart rate over the …

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Self-conquest

Immerse yourself in the natural world. For example, go to a rainforest and stay long enough that you forget the regular world and you can actually start seeing the rainforest. Go have one of those experiences. I'm an animal guy, so if I'm not hurling myself down mountains at high …

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He doesn't love me anymore

NOW GO BE AWESOME! You're amped up and everyone is cheering around you. It's a great collective feeling, similar to screaming for your favorite band or watching your favorite sports team win the game. The energy is palpable. You can feel it in the air. You walk away feeling like …

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How to Practice Stoicism

His behavior is an endless vicious cycle that has nothing to do with you. Multiple Manifestations of Addiction Addicted people often have histories of trauma, and the more profoundly they have been abused, the more likely they will have multiple addictive disorders. Some people have several forms of addiction operating …

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I Did Not Choose This

Just as there is a distinction between the social drinker and the alcoholic, there is a distinction between the person who has one affair and the person who repeatedly has affairs even when a job or marriage may be in jeopardy. Not everyone who has affairs, participates in unsafe sex …

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I believe that I can enjoy healthy eating

But I'm also doing so much less running-wise than I ever have--like, 12 miles a week compared to 12 miles a day. The Surprising Importance of David Puddy If your car is running hot or making a weird noise, you won't take it just anywhere but to a mechanic whom …

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Tragedy of the Commons

When I'm able to do that, it not only builds team unity and allows others to grow but also--paradoxically--strengthen my role as leader. By granting people the opportunity to claim their stake in the team's success, the leader receives buy-in from the players and staff, and the leader is respected …

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Who feels good?

Addiction is not about substances or behaviors, but is about disrupting the processing of pleasure; Science also tells us that stress alters the way we think. Parts of the brain that help us problem-solve shut down at times of stress, fueling impulsive behavior. When this behavior becomes excessive, the brain …

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You are the captain

Over half the population is not engaged in their workplace and, furthermore, over half of Americans can't cover a surprise $500 expense. The life expectancy of Americans has declined for three years in a row and drug use has increased to an unprecedented level. Half of all marriages end in …

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Breathe in: mindfulness and meditation

But what it can't do is quantify our ever-changing mind-set and emotional state. When he started working with high school football players, Brandon Rager used to think an athlete was dogging it or being soft if he performed poorly on the practice field or had an off day in the …

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Deconstruct Pleasure

Our trust keeps the world in order. But here's the problem. Only 1/3rd of Americans trust each other. In a study done by the General Social Survey, that spans over 40 years, they've found that trust in our fellow man has slowly declined. Back in 1972, half of all …

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Do you feel drawn closer or pushed away?

He didn't need to rely on other parties to provide his survival. That's why most of us find trust to be a challenging aspect of life. It requires other people, and other people have burned us plenty of times. Other people flake out on social events, which makes the evening …

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I love pine trees

I got so preoccupied with my suspicions, and yet felt so defeated, so I sent threatening letters to the women I suspected he was with and damaged the possessions he seemed so fond of, such as his musical instruments and his car. The Body Knows One of the consequences of …

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Momentous Moments

Not powerful enough? I've had seven knockouts in my last ten fights! It wasn't until Andy invited the fighters up to his Cal State lab for testing that he was able to convince them that he was correct. He had them jump on a force plate that recorded their power …

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Who else could you reach out to?

According to research conducted by the U. Census Bureau, nearly 24 million children in America (1 out of 3) live in homes where the biological father is absent. Furthermore, children with fatherless homes are 2x more likely to drop out of high school, 2x more likely to suffer from obesity …

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Yes, I do hate this moment

But don't act out your rage toward anyone, including yourself. You deserve better than to act on it and then endure the consequences. SIDEWAYS ANGER Often anger becomes sideways or passive-aggressive. Sideways anger occurs when you act it out and then deny it, or you act out in revenge and …

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A Loss of Balance

When you start, make sure it's actually fruitful before growing and expanding your efforts. Here's a section from Tim's article where he uses scripture from the Bible to solidify his quote: In the age of instant, we think success suddenly happens to the lucky few who find their way to …

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Gladness and success

He doesn't train for it but just jumps right in, literally. Doug makes sure he keeps a sustainable pace and keeps his form perfect, and it takes him about four hours. The experience isn't fun, per se, but he gets a great sense of satisfaction once he's done. If you …

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How do you plan to do that?

What if a VR simulation came out that offered an immersive experience that mimicked the sensory and motor involvement of real contact, without actual collision forces? Such a game could provide haptic feedback for when a fighter took a punch, but this could be vibrational and nondamaging. This would enable …

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