You may think of acts of war or terrorism or shootings in your community. You may think of a natural disaster such as floods, hurricanes, fires, and tornadoes that occur throughout the year. Yet the majority of people who experience a trauma are more apt to experience something more chronic …

What shocked him was the gulf between this and their cardiopulmonary health, which he found languishing in the fortieth percentile. He then dug deeper and evaluated their heart and lung health separately, something few people even consider doing. Frank discovered that many players' lungs were lagging far behind their hearts …

Because the monkeys refuse to let go of the fruit, the tribesman can easily capture the monkeys. The monkeys have, in essence, trapped themselves by holding on too tight. You won't let go of control, and so you become imprisoned mistaking control for security. Image Management Projecting to the world …

What if I wanted to be a New York Times best-selling author? You get onto this list by selling 9,000 copies in the 1st week of the release. Based on 9,000 people buying this article, how many of those 1st week buyers would actually stick to anything in …

I remember telling myself he was there for the kids, at their events. But looking back now, that wasn't true. I often had this strange feeling. It was like this little voice in my head, and then I would tell myself more loudly, He is a good guy. I am …

As I listened it was like he was brainwashing me. Then he told me he had had sex with a coworker and how it was okay because she really wanted to do it for him; He continued to drone on like a hypnotist, continuing to try to convince me that …

It doesn't seem like enough people are really buying into it. The Good Stories Don't Seem To Matter I mean, people buy these stories all the time with their money. Those stadiums are packed with people who need to seize their destiny. Those articles are sold all day long because …

Well, he basically told me it was about me. He had been telling me I was undersexed. That I just didn't know what a man needed. And I don't seem to enjoy having sex because when we have sex I always end up feeling used or even more alone than …

It doesn't matter if your device tells you that it was an easy session if you know it was hard. And that can change by how you feel on a certain day, not just because of the environment. Energy Is Everything Each winter I spend a few weeks in Hawaii …

What gives me the right to declare that everyone is collectively, pathetically apathetic? I'm a 25 year-old white guy who had it pretty easy growing up. Sure, I decided three years ago to finally get serious with my life, but that's not really a motivational story. Did I surmount great …

Rather than making me become semiconscious, as listening to music does, it actually heightens my awareness and engagement with the task at hand. Anytime you can use technology to improve your connection to yourself and your surroundings, do it. The Equipment Compromise The equipment we rely on every time we …

If you actually care about solving the problem, invest the time and the money and the energy to take care of it. Say no to other things going on in your life. Make this issue a major priority by dedicating your scheduled time to it. Fifth Step: Repeat. Every single …

Wait for your smart water bottle to tell you when to drink. Can't decide if you're just a bit sore or too fatigued to train? Let your heart rate monitor make the call. Let's look at just how far the senses versus sensors seesaw has tipped toward technology, and what …

I was quickly told by both my husband and the therapist that I was projecting the behaviors I had experienced with my two previous husbands onto my fiance, a very successful and upstanding man. Having a history of being willing to trust others rather than myself, I unquestioningly went on …

But really, we can recognize so-called good people in our lives, right? These are the folks that volunteer for unpaid projects and charities. They post online about doing benefit relief trips. They are probably firefighters or policemen or veterans or something else seemingly noble. They share experiences that end up …

My marriage would not be blessed as I had willed it to be. Over the years I would find out about things that were going on. Women would call my house and tell me things about my husband. Or someone at his work would pull me aside and tell me …

You Are Not in Control Staying indoors all the time furthers the illusion that we can control our environment and minimize, or maybe even eliminate, risk. As Frank Merritt told me when we were brainstorming for this article, If I'm cold, I'll turn the heat up; Such convenience sure is …

I agreed to, participated in, and endured this to keep him from getting angry. I convinced myself that our sexual life was normal and healthy. Buried in the tornado of thoughts, an occasional thought that something was wrong would rise to the surface and just as quickly, like a leaf …

This is why we need to seek out nature. Research shows that just looking at landscape photography can lower blood pressure, inflammation, and other stress markers. Maybe you don't have ready access to unspoiled wilderness, but you don't necessarily need it. One study of people who walked in a busy …

Here's the deal: most people are apathetic. It's more than just not caring about some kid in Africa. It's an apathy that's deep within our society and accepted by everyone. There's a cognitive dissonance, a conflict within ourselves, that we all suffer from. We keep coming up with great ideas …

Odds are you are accustomed to being seen for your gender identity and aren't concerned that someone will wrongly project their ideas about gender onto you. It's common for people with privilege to believe that their experiences are universal and not be aware that others have very different experiences. Not …

We do this with extreme sports, too, liking or retweeting a video of Jeremy Jones carving his way down an impossibly steep mountainside, Paige Alms escaping from the curl of a giant wave just before it swallows her, or Danny MacAskill doing flips over centuries-old stone walls in the Scottish …

Yet when the behavior is addictive, women whose husbands are engaged in non-physical sex addiction such as pornography, voyeurism, and exhibitionism say they feel the betrayal, the humiliation, and the shame as do those whose partners are engaged in sexual behavior that has become physically intimate with others. Use of …

Yet confusion exists about intimacy and commitment, and sexual betrayal abounds in our culture. Most couples, whether married or not, have both spoken and unspoken commitments that sex stays within their relationship; Their expectation is for unconditional love, but they know that relationships have conditions that need to be negotiated …

I also stopped using an alarm and started getting up when I awoke, usually between 3:30 and 5:00 a. My wife, Erin, has the opposite chronotype and picks up speed as the day goes. So she goes to bed and wakes up later than I do. That's what …

When I'm working with my athletes, I call this gearing. If your bike had eleven gears but only two of them worked properly, you'd only use those two, right? A lot of people have this issue, sticking to the gear they're most comfortable with instead of switching it up. They …

You have been deceived, time and time again, and that is traumatic to your very being. And while you are addressing the lies and secrecy that come with deception, the impact of the trauma needs to be validated and articulated. The words trauma and betrayal afford that, therefore, in this …

Jot down any and all words, images, and ideas that come to mind. For some people, your thoughts may immediately go to an experience of trauma. That's not unusual. Make a choice about how to take care of yourself. If you can, use this as an opportunity to explore it …

By inviting them to call me Lindo, I invited them to recognize me for who I am. I invited them to truly know me. To be known, accepted, and loved for who we truly are is what we all want. We all want to be seen, named, and welcomed as …

Take a deep, slow breath in from your diaphragm, which means your belly should expand more than your chest. Then take even more time on the exhale, letting yourself deflate like a balloon, as my friend, colleague, and breathing guru Wim Hof says. Take at least fifteen breaths like this …

In fact, you could even make this a golden rule for yourself, and, if you're feeling empowered, you can ask those you're with to do the same. You can back up your request with the knowledge you've gained by reading this article. For instance, we now know the importance of …

But then on day three I noticed a real change in him. He started becoming more confident and peaceful. I bumped into him a few months after the trip and asked him how he was doing. He told me, There's not a day that goes by when I don't think …

Back in our little kayak together, talking about our lives, he asks about who Anne and Isaac and I are to one another. He hasn't understood that we're a family. I can feel him trying to figure us out--especially me. He asks questions and I don't mind. We're engaging with …

Queer bodies. Racialized bodies. Trans bodies. Disabled bodies. Old bodies. All marginalized bodies and identities are a site for injustice. Body positivity is necessarily about combating oppression and figuring out how to thrive despite it. That's why I want to see body positivity ideology shift from a dominant story to …

Devoting time to strengthening frustration tolerance can enable us to resist negative social-media and technology habits and get started or stick with other activities that will bring us a feeling of accomplishment or joy. Most goals require that we tolerate frustration. Below are a few tips to help you build …

Self-love alone cannot fix that. The body positivity movement's narrow focus means its tools can't work as predicted--or at all. Yes, we all need self-love to cope with body shaming and to resist internalizing it, yet self-love is not the cure but the response. All the self-love in the world …

Our culture has elevated celebrities to godlike status and obsesses over their relationships, style choices, and just about every other aspect of their lives. But it's not just the everyday happenings of the rich and famous that fascinate us. We're also fixated on what's happening with everyone we know. There …

Talking with a professional offers a better understanding of your unique reasons for developing codependent behaviors. Once your codependent behaviors are fully understood, your chances of developing future codependent relationships are lowered, and your chances of having mutually satisfying and healthy relationships rise. Where to Go from Here The need …

Mindful eating is not a diet, and it's not about helping you control or restrict what you eat. It's about experiencing food more intensely. You can eat ice cream mindfully, if you wish. You might enjoy it a lot more if you slow down and allow yourself to fully experience …

They're often the ones who have the most engaged fans, too, because we want our athletes to be real people we can relate to. So even if you're an accomplished competitor, you might want to assess how many of your posts relate to your sport, what you're projecting to the …