Nobody has ever lived past 60. Cancer runs in my family. My parents both had heart problems, so I expect I will too. I'm not saying that self-care is going to change your DNA, but what I am saying is that you have to fight for your health. And you …

When you develop the mindset of doing everything the right way and to the best of your abilities, no matter how small, it changes your life. You no longer accept second-rate efforts and results from yourself and others. It permeates every area of your life and you become a more …

The concept is straightforward and the salience great. Our brains are physiologically organized to react through the neurotransmitters and neural circuits that chemically and electrically drive mental operations, including how we feel and think. The stronger the stimulus, in the form of a powerful exogenous substance, the bigger the neural …

This altered gene activity, in turn, affects the normal functioning of your brain. In summary, negative stimulation changes gene activity which results in dysfunction of the neural network in your brain. When that happens during a vulnerable period, the brain does not work well, and the result is depression. Depression …

It could be when there's a large gap in your schedule, it's a particular time of day, or you're doing a certain activity. Notice what causes a poor mood, the moments when you get trapped in TRAPs, and the times that you forget to plan. Because Sheila knows that her …

Emphasize Activities That Promote Social Connection: The question to ask yourself is: What types of interactions, with what people, promote feelings of connection? This is important to identify, especially if you're experiencing depression. Feeling isolated and thinking no one gets you can make you feel more stuck and overwhelmed, potentially …

It's what made him who he is today. There's a big difference between helplessly riding out a panic attack and not allowing one to hold you back, and the same is true with procrastination. While you might not like your procrastinating ways, there could be those times when you just …

Become involved in order to show them your winning spirit (you don't just care about your needs being met, but the needs of everyone around you.) If that doesn't get you loyal followers, nothing will! Eyewitness testimony is also powerful because eyewitnesses are often very confident in their identifications. As …

The internal talking gets in the way of you truly reading or listening. Your sensory acuity is impaired by the clutter in your head. Some people do this in a peculiar way; I am one of them. When concentrating, I poke my tongue out. Although I quickly learned to avoid …

They are the cornerstones of your script of life, creating boundaries and barriers to who you can become and what you do. Remember this: money doesn't necessarily define success. Success can be measured by self-fulfillment, awareness, emotional intelligence, and education. I've always felt that as long as I could support …

During this stage you become aware of what is happening but seem unable to do anything about it. This is the awareness stage: for example, realizing the ways in which you make yourself feel anxious by seeing everything in all-or-nothing terms but not being able to stop. You now have …

The devil is in the details and the details accumulate to big problems if they're missed. Getting out of bed on time is a good decision, but you also have to decide to turn around and make your bed, pick up your clothes, etc. Making your bed is a good …

You can ask pharmaceutical companies if they have special discount programs or rebates for your brand-name medication. For example, I take a hypertension medication, Diovan, which erupted to a $75 copayment under my new health insurance. Astonished, I inquired about this high expense by calling the pharmaceutical company and managed …

Fernando Gomez-Pinilla, professor of neuropsychology at the University of Southern California, who has long studied the effects of nutrition on the brain says, "Food is like a pharmaceutical compound that affects the brain. The more balanced you make your meals, the more balanced will be your brain function-ing." Consider choosing …

What you've "done" holds more weight. It's more powerful. It's money in the bank. Do it first, and then, if you still need attention, share your progress with others. Discussing progress is better than only discussing plans! Getting your act together never happens overnight - and that's the problem. We live …

If, on the other hand, he contributed effort, or in some way assumed responsibility for the task, either of those options would probably go a long way towards insuring the outcome that the habitual procrastinator so desperately seeks. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is an overall term describing a range of …

When those needs are at odds with your being your authentic self, you must prevail. By avoiding the feed, I'm much more likely to use social media mindfully while still allowing time to connect with others proactively. Just as companies like Facebook and LinkedIn implement behavioral design to keep us …

We've discussed the hurdles you might encounter. Now you'll be reassessing the beliefs and rules that have protected you and have been your reality. Changing that now can feel risky and even frightening. Your mind may go blank when you try to come up with ideas. I want to start …

Perhaps you know someone who has dealt with a similar situation - how did they do it? If your problem is workrelated perhaps your organization offers a coaching scheme. If your problem is personal you may have a friend or family member who can help. Now that you have identified your …

Stop allowing things to get in your way. Stop allowing people and things to make your job harder. Do what's necessary to make absolutely sure the path to your goals and getting your act together is clear and free of distraction. Then, keep it that way. We're spending time on …

opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve." He continues on to further list his preferences and opinions. Now we have a deeper idea of who the character is, what he values. Using that as an example, and with input from my friends, I made a list of my …

After your basic needs are met (food, shelter, safety) and you have a little left over as a cushion, extra material wealth has little to no effect on life satisfaction or happiness. First, you may welcome the information. It may feel like relief. It fits with the gut feeling you've …

A contingency plan means thinking about what to do if things do not go according to plan. For example, if you wanted to write a report what could get in the way of your completing it? How many things could go wrong and how would you react to each of …

Linking superstitious beliefs and behaviors to coincidental events occurs because of a process that psychologists call operant conditioning. Skinner, the foremost proponent of operant conditioning and author of the famous article "Superstition in the Pigeon," convincingly demonstrated that coincidence develops superstitious behavior. Skinner put pigeons into separate cages and had …

You may remember a lot from your childhood or not. Some memories may be fuzzier than others. You may feel as if you don't have enough "big" memories. But if they were significant somehow, please include them. Nothing should be discounted. Remember, you're using a lens of compassion. Remember that …

Another variable is age of onset--the age at which you first experience your depressive symptoms. The earlier the age of onset for unipolar or bipolar depression increases the probability of a return of depressive illness. Severity and length of depression, sometimes called "chronicity," will heighten the odds for relapse and …

What values do you have about the role of religion or spirituality in your life? What values do you have related to your physical health and emotional well-being? What does it mean to value self-care? Is this something you value? Why or why not? Psychoanalysis is a deep-exploration therapy whose …

Keep in mind that emotional discipline starts first thing in the morning, when you wake up. That is when you create the opportunity to set the standard for your day, by saying, I am happy, I am blessed, I am joyful, I am alive, and nothing will stop me from …

The common pitfall in relationships--when a couple experiences a hiccup, miscommunication or are at odds about something--is to act at war with one another, and fixate on the problem. The problem really isn't the problem, itself. It's the length of time that they focus on the problem. The longer they …

As Fried suggests, "Chat should be about quick, ephemeral things," while "important topics need time, traction, and separation from the rest of the chatter." The trouble is that some people like to "think out loud" in group chat, explaining their arguments and ideas in one-line blurbs. This rarely works because …

Skill-building groups that teach and practice interpersonal and communication skills provide participants with alternatives to "saying yes" to substances. They are similar in their approach to relapse prevention, and their provision is vital. Look for programs or services that deliver skill training and relapse prevention; ask about it--insist upon it …

This sensual love building trigger is one of the most powerful exercises of all because it allows you to form a deep emotional connection-- simply by communicating how you feel with one, simple question. "What can I do for you?" It may be that your partner wants to cuddle on …

Thereafter, let your gut instincts take over at the consultation. If you don't feel comfortable, it's perfectly fine to seek out another professional. I've done this when I sought out treatment as a patient--and as a therapist, I encourage second opin-ions if the match isn't there. Finding a "good fit …

The extremely elevated mood of bipolar disorder affects your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, which can interfere with the quality of your life. The form on page 44 provides examples of common thoughts, feelings, and behaviors related to elevated mood. Check off those you can relate to and share this information …

They were told that the work that year would be challenging and the pace would be rapid, in keeping with their special gifts. Across the hall, by contrast, the Yellow Birds were told that they would have to work extra hard to keep up with their assignments; that they were …

There's an emotional cost, as well, a kind of hardening of your psychological arteries. As we saw when the locus of control is out of whack, negative internal dialogue will cause you to overlook vital information that could otherwise be so incredibly powerful. You don't even recognize positive alternatives anymore …

Reaction formation made her seem overly kindly when on the inside she was boiling with rage. Her perceptions of others were tinged with distrust, a mild form of compromised reality testing that left her bereft and with little hope for a better life. Farther down the gradient are defenses that …

When his wife took his car keys so he couldn't drive to his drug dealer twelve miles away, he got on his ten-speed bicycle and pedaled, on the highway, to get his fix. When he went to play basketball abroad--no longer US material--first in Italy, then China, Turkey, even Iran …

When you engage in these activities, your brain associates your bed with wakefulness. Just as regular, relaxing bedtime routines can help your brain and body know when it's time for sleep, your bed itself is another important trigger. By helping your brain associate your bed with sleep, the transition into …

Your heart may race. Your stomach may tighten. Or the opposite--you may feel tension glide off of you or your breathing may become calm. This kind of dissociation from your body can make it very difficult to identify what your body is telling you or to determine where you feel …