Breathe, Patience, Breathe

When your goal benefits you in only one way, it's much easier to quit, especially when the goal you set is something you want but do not need to do. When your goal benefits you in only one way, you get far fewer daily jolts of motivation from small successes …

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Diametrically Opposed Statements

Make a list of ten items you are currently grateful for. Then a list of five items you wish you could have in your life right now. When people have had bad things done to them over the course of their lives, they tend to respond by doing bad things …

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Fun Exercise

The second dream started off in the same way. I went to live on the boat, but as I was learning about the boat, I jumped off and swam across the ocean. Your father tells you that you've always been a disappointment to him? Well, you've got a good job …

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Speak Like You Really Mean It

Sure, I can console myself by thinking that hindsight is perfect. I can console myself by saying that I had no way of knowing how those opportunities would turn out. When my niece tells me another child at school is being a jerk, I ask. When my friend says she …

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The Noble Ability to Agree

But on an occasional basis, an Extreme Productivity Day (okay, I've already given up hoping the folks from Monster Energy will call) is the perfect cure for the I am never going to get this done flu. Let's say you have a major task that will take you eleven or …

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Think About Energy

He was short, with a big attitude. His presence was always known, good or bad. You try this out, and it certainly seems like great advice. More people are paying attention to you, more guys are approaching you, and you're definitely having a better time than you'd been having recently …

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Think the Same Way

The same trick works for an EPD. Either way, those first few hours will fly by. Even his voice mail message was cranky. For our first three meetings, I was convinced he hated me. He wasn't mean, but he wasn't friendly. He was just gruff. It never would have worked …

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What Gives Us Away?

Looking at her precious face brings me back to the years of raising her Mommy, which went by way too fast. I am filled with pride and gratitude that my girls will continue my legacy when I can no longer walk this earth. Little things, such as helping her with …

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Body Language as Medicine

And it's impossible to actively pursue a goal that doesn't take care of a basic need that is lacking, because you will always feel guilty about spending time on it. If you aren't bringing in enough money to keep food on the table and a roof over your head, you'll …

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Do Not Think Too Much

They don't say a picture is worth a thousand words for no reason. Imagine then, how powerful a daily gratitude practice would be, where you take a few minutes every night to reflect on the things, small or big, you are grateful for, things that perhaps you often take for …

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How Do You Use Your Voice?

I also cultivated this life skill of daily gratitude with my sons. When my boys said their prayers at night, I'd also have them tell me something they were grateful for, but I created a rule that they could never repeat. You might go to a family dinner and have …

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How to Use Body Language

I have seen families out in my neighborhood that I've never seen before, all of them walking, talking, and laughing. I have seen people step up to support those around them via Zoom, Facetime, and other video apps. Whenever I struggled on the field, I would hear this coach's voice …

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Mirroring and Joining

If they are, that's great, but if they're not, and yet you're spending the bulk of your time and focus on those relationships, then you're only cheating yourself out of the chance to be happier by focusing on what is more important to you. (I used family and friends as …

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Move the Body!

Plus, the skill you gain will not be wasted if or when you move on to another pursuit. Except for unusual skills--like tech skills, which are constantly on the verge of becoming obsolete even for full-time programmers and developers--the skills you gain will stay in your tool kit. You learn …

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The Basic Rule of Establishing Rapport

I'm a speaker and a ghostwriter, I say. Oh, they say, and their voices trail off as their perception of me changes. Most body language experts will tell you that if someone laughs with you, they feel close to you. When someone is smiling, check around their eyes for crow's-feet …

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When You Need Rapport

I looked at my children and said, I think he is trying to talk to me. I asked the dog again, Are you talking to me? I was usually the one paying the check. If I just started not showing up, people would notice. The same is true with one-on-one …

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Why Does Rapport Work?

Plans are great, but plans without action are just dreams. Pick something you want to do and try it. An introvert speaking up, shaky voice and all, is the type of deviation that benefits us all. Everyone has something to say, and if she doesn't use her singular voice to …

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Bias from over Influence by Authority

Recently, I added my creative and artistic abilities to that list. These give me the confidence to make connections with similar minds and talents. It was just the wrong soil for those plants, and unless I changed the soil, my plants were going to keep dying. So, the first thing …

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Models to Adopt for Better Thought and Decision Making

She's a highly accomplished tennis player, ranked the world's number one tennis player on three separate occasions, winner of seven Grand Slam singles titles, winner of fourteen Grand Slam doubles championships, four-time Olympic gold medalist . I could go on and on. This is when lawyers get to learn a little …

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Cognitive Appraisal

That was when I realized that I had to face up to my reality. It was at Anthony's funeral that I finally understood that life isn't promised, that we aren't guaranteed tomorrow. If I wanted to leave a mark on the world, I was going to have to start working …

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Expanding Your Mental Model

Smiling, tell her you are going to spank her when you get home if she doesn't behave. This should defuse it, by getting a laugh and she may just want you to spank her! This is really disappointing isn't it? The most effective way to avoid this is to mention …

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Identifying Your Mental Models and Their Impacts

Maybe you're addicted to social media or unhealthy relationships. Whatever your addiction, it is an enormous roadblock in your life and an impediment to facing up to your reality. The truth is that addictions are a way of escaping reality, and yet, their very existence interferes with you reaching your …

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More Practices for Stoicism

It is only when men make women feel that whenever they are with them, they would feel safe and secured. Given all that, the women and men view of the concept of attraction varies considerably. This goes to show that if ever a man, you, would like to attract a …

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Setting Goals and Achieving What You Want

She won't make love to you forty times a week. She won't cook for you or jump up from her studies to do the dishes if you demand it, expect it, or insist that Mommy always did it for you. If you are just meeting her, don't tell her how …

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The Lollapalooza Effect

Carly realized that she didn't have a good answer for her child, and she couldn't continue to put the two of them at risk any longer. So, she packed up what she could, took a twenty-dollar debit card and twenty dollars in cash, and left with her daughter for a …

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Additional Tips for Concentration

They do want to living up to your potential. So, as a summary women like to be understood, happiness, respect and they also want honesty. But, as the time goes by, the woman wishes change because she is setting new goals. Why men can't figure women out is because they …

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Brainwashing by Certain Regimes

According to the psychologist John Eastwood, boredom is the unfulfilled desire for satisfying activity--when our minds and bodies are looking for, but failing to find, something that merits our meaningful attention. Anyone who's spent time waiting at an airport gate for a delayed flight knows this feeling well, but humans …

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Cognitive Bias #1: Anchoring

The most unforgettable of these experiences was with Ashley, an encounter that showed me why God created me. It wasn't for football, as I'd thought up to that point; I met Ashley at an event, and she told me that not that long before, she'd been so ready to end …

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Cognitive Bias #2: Confirmation Bias

It's no secret that men and women are different. It is no news that they look for different things in a relationship. They all want different things, different men for their different personalities. What do women want from men? There are as many answers as there are types of women …

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Elon Musk and the First Principles Mental Model

A hearing aid cannot know from which direction the squeal of tires is coming from and whether it's close by or far away. If a sound isn't correctly assigned a location, it becomes a burden on our brain. Without the ability to spatially locate, people become disoriented and tense up …

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Political Manipulation

When most of us want to say that something is not too intellectually taxing, we say it isn't rocket science. When rocket scientists want to say that something is not too intellectually taxing, they say it's not brain science. Catherine's degree from Princeton is in brain science! She married me …

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The Circle of Competence Mental Model

But I'll stick with you, every step of the way, sharing with you how I dealt with the same situations. Throughout this article, I'll be sharing parts of my personal journey and showing the lessons these experiences have taught me. I will also share lots and lots of stories from …

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