The General's men came around the villages to conscript all the able-bodied men. This results in the dreaded sense that wrongs need to be righted, often at great personal and interpersonal expense. Resentment over having to do this heavy lifting is a gift that keeps on giving. Not only do …

Sanskrit has been useful every day of my life, enhancing my teaching, coaching and ordinary living. The real remedy to Clotishness is to put insight into action. That said, it's smart to have a sense of why people act like a Clot in the first place. The unconscious reason is …

As decades have passed, I have seen time and again how even a little of this consciousness, presence and wisdom is utterly transformative. Everything you think and feel about them is probably awfully similar to what they think and feel about you. So, go ahead and say hello. You're also …

adding kara to aham means that we experience a limit on our feeling of existence. our Clottery to the past and present contexts in which it was born may be scary at first, but in so doing, we can experience a broader emotional life. self-talk impacts how we see and …

To hear what this source wisdom is saying is one thing, to put it into practice is quite another. That is very bad news, because there's nothing we can do about the problem if it's not us. Sometimes owning up to our dissociated and denied self-experience obstructs how we need …

Aham is a sense or feeling of existence. The goal of drive can be to miss its mark, making it a powerful underlying force to sustain bad behavior and block awareness of anxiety. For instance, when Erica's fiance cancelled their engagement she became what she calls a serial dater. Erica …

We will experience fear if that is the meaning we hold. Clots are inclinced to believe that it wasn't the caretaker's fault, it was theirs. Acting out at a young age might have started as a protest against being treated poorly, but it winds up as resignation. A young Clot …

The choice is simple, but the consequences are profound. Basically, our defenses are put into play in important relationships again and again. Our feelings then become enacted indefinitely. In new relationships and amongst strangers, we replay the unresolved conflicts and relationship dynamics that caused us to install our defenses in …

Frequency is how often you practice. This state is referred to as the depressive position. If we can reach this position in which we accept gray areas in our lives, each other, and ourselves, we can think differently about our hostility. For example, if being a Clot is your way …

The next faculty of the mind, the Buddhi or the Intellect, shines brightly with the light of intelligence. He stated: Because of the unknown quantity in me which reminded Dora of Herr K. , she took her revenge on me as she wanted to take her revenge on him - Thus she …

The further back the arrow is pulled on the string, the further and straighter the arrow travels towards its target. You start mumbling and giving them dirty looks. You call someone a jerk. You tell yourself all these people are entitled, selfish, narcissistic assholes who, when they come close to …

For us, this was indulgence, meant for a rare celebration. If your traditional faith community is a place of great human flourishing, if you increasingly love God and people more, I celebrate it. We are all just taking various roads to the same home. Wherever you ask them, you will …

As one phase undergoes dissolution, it leaves the space for something new to arise: a new awareness, a new consciousness, a new foundation. I once struggled to not blow up a much-cherished, multi-year project with colleagues I cared for deeply (and still do! . ) Since I didn't want to lose their …

While our ordinary experience may be one of limitation, throughout time all the wisdom traditions tell us that the limits we feel are imagined and superimposed on that limitless universal self. We all carry around more than our fair share of unexpressed anger. Yet acting like a Clot makes you …

They may not realize how meaningful the Sanskrit words are. The downside of this advice is that persistently anticipating these types of people, and rigorously protecting ourselves from their notorious behavior, leads to a state of constant anxiety. This may trigger our own Clotish behavior, as we preemptively overprotect ourselves …

For example, all their friends have an iPhone 10. Of course, we all understand the appeal of gossip. It's human to enjoy the surprise at a sudden disclosure, the impact of a scandalous revelation. But as forcefully as I can, I'm telling you: gossip has absolutely no place among friends …

Timeless wisdom resonated with me from the start. parsing through old relationships, you'll bring up the suppressed anxieties that cause you to act like a Clot not always, but frequently enough. also learn the difference between being right and being righteous, and how the latter is the most limiting behavior …

We do this by firmly establishing our conscious awareness deep within our true being: the heart of who we truly are. Being a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst is my day job, and from that realm I can assure you there is no formal diagnosis for being a Clot, or for …

If your requests are just useless, that shows quite a large and unusual failing in that person. He saw the bigger picture and wanted to take action, but again, Americans rejected punitive action, especially in the form of taxation. Reduction in sugar intake not only improves individual health but would …

It is the confidence you experience when you are awake and aware of your own potential and strength. My professional acquaintance with a twelve-step recovery program began in the late 1980s, when I took my adolescent psychiatric clients to A. A. meetings in Newport Beach, California. There, I noticed that …

I am asking questions. Look - look. We're both flaming now but don't forget: I love you, your happiness is the crucial thing, this negative rush we're stuck in will only last five minutes. How 'bout we shut up for a sec, get in a big hug and a kiss, then …

Be deferential, err on the far side of polite, offer to help, assume you should leave your well-cleaned shoes by the door and most definitely turn off your phone. Our insurance must pay for it, whether or not it was a preexisting condition. As a country, we need to stop …

I deeply believe in your work and am grateful for your dedication to it. This is essential: it reveals you're safe company, and have demonstrably normal friendships with women. Travel pics are always inviting, but please, not sixty pictures of the same beach. Selective is effective, so choose the three …

If found to be positive, they are sent on sick leave until they test negative for MRSA. The small amount of MRSA found in the Netherlands is confined to hospitals, with no cases of CA-MRSA. The Dutch believe that 'MRSA will never be solved by the introduction of new antibiotics' …

I remember watching a woman preach, practical and modest in the way I understood but also carefully dissecting a complicated bit of Scripture. I looked around like, Oh, my word! These folks are taking her seriously and no one is going up in flames, and I am so happy my …

. Unfortunately, it will never reach its intended audience. . People often believe they have no choice or have to do something because some loud part of them insists it's so. In the midst of such racket, quiet intuitive feelings from the center are easily overlooked. But with practice, one can learn …

AIWATT isn't a universal panacea for all our interpersonal problems. I've given it prominence here because it has a specific utility. It's a reminder that our environment tempts us many times a day to engage in pointless skirmishes. And we can do something about it - by doing nothing. Like closing …

It's that crazy. You have a choice. You can either love yourself or keep yourself waiting. We are at war with slavery. Griffin couldn't change his environment, so he changed how he reacted to it. Admittedly, Griffin was one of my prize coaching clients. Like a physically gifted athlete who …

(Steve, your story does not add up. But he waited to express these thoughts until he could blend them with some more generous ones. He ultimately said he understood that she was trying to please him, and that he should have complimented her at the time, but that he also …

A man who has been in AA for over three decades said that the community of men has been crucial in supporting each other in their relationships with intimate partners. It takes talking to other men to get the emotional grounding that we all are dealing with the same kind …

) When our performance has clear and immediate consequences, we rise to the occasion. We create our environment. We don't let it re-create us. The problem is that the majority of our day consists of minor moments, when we're not thinking about the environment or our behavior because we don't associate …

But rather than sympathize with her children's feelings of loss, or experience her own guilt or grief, she criticized them for expecting too much. She seemed unaware that she had changed the terms and saw it as a problem within them that they clung to old expectations. Her in-the-moment emotional …

I clung to my husband and kids, as well as a few friends I could count on one hand. They kept telling me the same thing: 'Hold on, Sasha. Remain, Sasha. Stand, Sasha. ' Sometimes standing didn't feel like enough. I felt I should do more, fight back somehow, even though …

Other people did astounding things. But I think the most important story to tell you is about Ann Buszard, a strength competitor who was seventy-six when I met her. About a year and a half before the competition, Ann had noticed she was getting weak in her legs, specifically when …

Lack of sleep increases anxiety and stress. One study, published in the journal Sleep, found that tossing and turning just one night was enough to increase levels of stress hormones like cortisol by the very next evening. And after just one night of sleep deprivation, people also had an increase …

Some styles seem to naturally appear more powerful than others. The mobiliser style, with underlying preferences for initiating communication and directing language, comes across as confident, decisive, and assertive. Their command and control' style and drive to get things done fits our stereotype of a leader. <a href='https://maps …

To do this, picture yourself in the situation, observe yourself there, see what you are wearing and how you are standing or sitting. Then slowly think through what you are doing and saying, what you are thinking and feeling, what skills and qualities you have, what is important to you …

It was an uphill climb for me. I was a closeted gay boy in a time before gay liberation. I was a scholarship student. I was from an unsophisticated Ohio family and way out of my depth in this most sophisticated of schools. I was, in truth, a hayseed. I …

They put together an action plan and implemented changes in how they interacted with their teams. This led to improved employee engagement scores in the subsequent employee opinion survey from 72% to 86%, at a time when the organisation's overall score went down, and they were delighted with this result …

So too, human beings. In other words: I could not understand myself without Seth. ) At its core, then, twinship signals a deep new sense of belonging to the human race. Twinship is the very embryo--the earliest seed--of what most spiritual traditions call oneness, or union. You eat too much! You …