Current state of the field

And if we are closely involved with them, it's helpful if they know about and understand our ADD problems, although we need to use some care in who and what we tell. We can let others know what kinds of things are helpful to us and what kinds of things …

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Having to take charge

Do you let others know how you are feeling on the inside? Do you ever look for something you have done wrong, thinking that there must be something? If so, give an example. Do you ever feel like you are putting one over on others who are impressed with you …

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Giving and receiving praise

I texted my friend and didn't get a response! How could I NOT feel anxious and upset?" The problem is that this statement assumes that everyone would feel the exact same way about this event as you do. Although many people feel anxious when a friend doesn't text them back …

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Giving and receiving criticism

Nevertheless, your choice of the first guiding virtue to work on will depend on what type of perfectionist you are. For example, if you are an achievement perfectionist, then adopting and working on unconditional self-acceptance as your guiding virtue can help you overcome the self-destructive tendency to belittle yourself when …

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Asking someone to change their behaviour

But if you take the time to calm your body down, turn off your fear-based reactive brain, and turn on your thinking brain, you will be in a much better place to respond to the specific event that triggered your anxiety. The key is "think small." In fact, the smaller …

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What are your communication challenges?

This respect avoids damning the world as a whole just because it has some negative aspects. Instead, you appreciate that an imperfect world, where there are bad or undesirable things, can still be a good place. So, for example, despite the existence of poverty, sickness, and death, you do not …

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My own experience with body types

Some of these findings also indicate that volunteers who devote a considerable amount of time to volunteer activities (about 100 hours per year) are most likely to exhibit positive health outcomes. I ran the samples. One day I got a very high number. I thought they'd found a really rich …

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Cultivate acceptance

The only problem was, I couldn't do it. I couldn't decide what temperature the bouncing dial was reading. That flustered me and I couldn't keep up. We all got pretty frustrated, as well as hot. The engineers uneasily decided to let me try the driving while one of them did …

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Acknowledging the problem

I just finished reading about this guy!" These two men are close in age, good athletes, intelligent, and have frustrated parents who are sometimes critical and tired of supporting them. Both men have difficulty with bosses, with holding a job, and with finding a field that works for them. This …

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Personal and professional training

In each of these instances, your fear-threat system -- the part of your brain that is supposed to help you respond to imminent threats to your health and safety -- is actually being hijacked by something that may be concerning but is certainly not an imminent threat. What difference does this make …

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Dealing with disappointments and setbacks

In this case, return to normalcy or homeostasis is linked to getting rid of the stressor--namely, eliminating the lack of approval. Anxiety, on the other hand, is akin to suffering a pinched nerve in the brain's fear-threat system. The pain is real enough, but it's the result of something happening …

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Implementing your plan

Not if we have ADD. That was on the notes home from school, "Johnny needs to try harder." Then we had to deal with the reaction from home. "Why don't you try harder?" (the underlying meaning of Wilton's "You can do better." ) This had a significant effect on us, on …

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How you cope with emotions makes a difference

We need to receive positive reinforcement for accomplishing things, even if we have to give it to ourselves, which is often the case. We're not good at rewarding ourselves and we need to intentionally practice. We can set up rewards as a motivating factor for a specific task. Just the …

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When things get hard

I do. Interestingly, Dotty notes that she has also become less critical of other people and she is getting along better with some of them, not just with her husband. Therapy can produce some wonderful results. Flare-ups are a normal part of life for those with persistent pain. Many flare-ups …

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Someone who makes me feel good about myself

If you value the relationship more, you may let go of the attempt to make her stop smoking. These choices are not easy, but you can approach them assertively. This negative self-talk is very damaging and we do it a lot. It just keeps eroding our morale, damaging our self-esteem …

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Your gut knows best

In the 1960s, my dad was an astute businessman, entrepreneur, and an avid runner. As a preteen, I can recall many times I'd joined him as he ran around the lake in Denver, Colorado. Being so young and not really understanding the health benefits of running, one day I asked …

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Challenge your thinking patterns

One of her strongest memories from childhood was of being told, over and over, "You can do better than this!" And she could have done better, if she hadn't had ADD. But whatever she did was never good enough. She has a severe problem finishing things and with organizing. Wilton …

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Practice coping thoughts every day

How is meditation benefiting you? Make a list of benefits. If you have never practiced meditation before, when do you plan to get started? Are you ready to go to the next level of meditation? If so, what do you plan to practice? Wilton would have a stressful day at …

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Can i really change this?

The people in one group were asked to sit or stand in `power poses'. Some were seated at desks, asked to put their feet up on the table, look straight ahead and interlock their hands behind the back of their heads. Others stood straight, feet apart, head up and hands …

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Rushed and pressured

Still, when I'm getting ready to file something, or to put it on the pile on my desk, and I hear myself saying, "Oh, I'll need to get to this later," I stop and ask myself, "Could I possibly take care of this now?" Adjust this to your audience. For …

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Boosting self esteem

Are they accurate? Professor Stephen Schnaars of Baruch College analyzed the forecasts published between 1959 and 1989 in sources like the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and Business Week, and found that they were wrong about 80 percent of the time. The predictions of major think tanks fair …

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Maybe i'm not meant to do it

And master it. Your bottomless discipline will transform into greater elements in all areas of your life. To maintain bottomless discipline in every level in your life, be aware that discipline is not easy. It takes practice, practice, and practice--every day. Then your discipline will start becoming easier because it …

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Understand that there will be consequences for your inaction

There is a great deal of false information circulating out there about natural supplements, and this is not a well-regulated area of the health marketplace.) However, the psychotropic medications used to treat anxiety often have side effects. Some of them can also be habit-forming (another way of saying they can …

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Why we resist self-care

He drew a breath and said, "You're bigger than those stacks of papers, David. Just do it!" My neighbor's words made me feel worse. The two of us batted the topic back and forth like a tennis ball. He would say, "You have power over these things." Then I'd reply …

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Challenge yourself with an adventurous outing

People don't evaluate how they got there; they're just there. That passive approach is what I call the Popeye theory of life management: "I am what I am." It's an approach that asks no questions, seeks no answers, and leaves you stuck right where you are. It's an attitude that …

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How to worry constructively

And here's what most of us don't see and understand - it's all just a mirage. It's not real. The people you're watching who appear to have these flawless lives are painting a picture of what they WANT you to see - not what's 100% accurate and true about themselves. Athletes, musicians …

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Mixed emotions boast benefits

Tack your next one-week vacation onto a three-day weekend to stretch it to a little more than a week--but just a little. Sadly, no matter how long a vacation may be, its impact after you return to work is likely to be minimal. The same study found that on the …

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Build a friendly mind-set

Given the enormous influence others have on our actions, how can we manage distraction around those with whom we want to spend uninterrupted quality time? How do we change our tendencies toward distraction when those around us haven't changed theirs? Essayist and investor Paul Graham writes that societies tend to …

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Learning new skills

They asked people with different backgrounds to accurately predict the British economy ten years into the future. Who won? A group of sanitation workers tied for first place with a panel of four chairman of multinational firms.48 Once again, the amount of knowledge we have in a certain area …

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