Problem-solving communication

I don't allow myself to put them anywhere else, not "just for now," not "just this time," not "because I'm busy." No. On the front table. I do not leave them in my jacket pocket. I do not lay them on my desk or on the bureau top. I put …

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Short attention span and inattention

One antidepressant made my eyes dilate to such an extent that my vision became blurred. I was then put on another that caused such terrible stomach upset, that I'll trust you'd rather not know the details. Another medication, one that was supposedly tailor-made for anxiety, produced the side effect of …

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The confidence machine

As you are putting your plan into action, making new choices that will empower you to handle stress better, there will be days when you fall back into old habits. Whether you binge on comfort food, say yes to too many commitments, stay up half the night watching mindless TV …

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Becoming the authority of your life

No matter how simple our tasks may initially appear, many, if not all of our tasks require thoughtful action; and it's for that reason many people find procrastination to be a never-ending burden. I usually had a variety of tasks that I simultaneously procrastinated on. Typically, it wasn't that I …

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How can i tell if i am having a panic attack?

Most of us do, and for good reason. The health benefits of massages are varied and well documented. For starters, studies have shown that massages reduce cortisol--the stress hormone--by 31 percent, while at the same time increasing mood-boosting hormones like dopamine and serotonin by as much as a third. The …

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How does pain work?

Since the relationship between depression and substance abuse can often be very complicated, it is essential that people dealing with both depression and substance abuse seek medical help as soon as possible. Only a qualified health professional can make a proper diagnosis, especially for those patients dealing with more than …

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It's not the right time

If my short term goals don't seem to lead towards my long term goals, or if what I am doing now doesn't fit in with my goals, then I need to rethink. I keep the yellow pad with my long term goals on it on my desk and review it …

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What can i do for you?

This also includes whole grains, such as barley, whole wheat, and oats. Fiber plays an important role in regulating your digestive system and helping you feel fuller so you have fewer cravings. Chocolate lovers, rejoice--indulge and feel good. You may be pleased to know that eating chocolate really can make …

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How to change a habit

That might make a difference in whether a person would do better with varenicline or bupropion or with a nicotine patch. Research is under way here as well. We know that cortical controls are weakened by the chronic use of many substances, resulting in the diminution of executive functioning, including …

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Move towards the things that matter

Remember, you're not trying to eliminate your tasks, but to develop the willingness to simply reduce the number of tasks that await you. Numerous research studies have consistently shown that well over 90 percent of all people who committed suicide or attempted it were suffering from some form of mental …

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Continuing your forward motion

Don't tolerate being absent, late, and not keeping commitments. Don't tolerate dishonorable, disrespectful, and disgraceful behavior. Don't tolerate having a victim mindset. Don't tolerate losing because you didn't strategize, prepare, and make an effort. Don't tolerate excuses, stories, and blame for why a goal wasn't reached and a target wasn't …

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Dealing with stress

Giving up a long held belief or lifestyle, even one that works against you, isn't easy. Beating up on yourself doesn't help, nor does trying to hurry the process along. Like a cigarette smoker who only wants to stop smoking--but never gives stopping an honest try, wishing alone doesn't help …

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Do i feel there simply is not enough time?

The concept is straightforward and the salience great. Our brains are physiologically organized to react through the neurotransmitters and neural circuits that chemically and electrically drive mental operations, including how we feel and think. The stronger the stimulus, in the form of a powerful exogenous substance, the bigger the neural …

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Don't be afraid to upset others

This altered gene activity, in turn, affects the normal functioning of your brain. In summary, negative stimulation changes gene activity which results in dysfunction of the neural network in your brain. When that happens during a vulnerable period, the brain does not work well, and the result is depression. Depression …

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How to deal with shame and humiliation

It could be when there's a large gap in your schedule, it's a particular time of day, or you're doing a certain activity. Notice what causes a poor mood, the moments when you get trapped in TRAPs, and the times that you forget to plan. Because Sheila knows that her …

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Using coping imagery to reduce anxiety

Emphasize Activities That Promote Social Connection: The question to ask yourself is: What types of interactions, with what people, promote feelings of connection? This is important to identify, especially if you're experiencing depression. Feeling isolated and thinking no one gets you can make you feel more stuck and overwhelmed, potentially …

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Why talk about stress when you have pain?

It's what made him who he is today. There's a big difference between helplessly riding out a panic attack and not allowing one to hold you back, and the same is true with procrastination. While you might not like your procrastinating ways, there could be those times when you just …

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Working the room

Become involved in order to show them your winning spirit (you don't just care about your needs being met, but the needs of everyone around you.) If that doesn't get you loyal followers, nothing will! Eyewitness testimony is also powerful because eyewitnesses are often very confident in their identifications. As …

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Apologize effectively

They are the cornerstones of your script of life, creating boundaries and barriers to who you can become and what you do. Remember this: money doesn't necessarily define success. Success can be measured by self-fulfillment, awareness, emotional intelligence, and education. I've always felt that as long as I could support …

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Do i have time to do what i would like to?

During this stage you become aware of what is happening but seem unable to do anything about it. This is the awareness stage: for example, realizing the ways in which you make yourself feel anxious by seeing everything in all-or-nothing terms but not being able to stop. You now have …

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How can i escape fear by embracing it?

You can ask pharmaceutical companies if they have special discount programs or rebates for your brand-name medication. For example, I take a hypertension medication, Diovan, which erupted to a $75 copayment under my new health insurance. Astonished, I inquired about this high expense by calling the pharmaceutical company and managed …

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How can i escape fear by embracing it?

Fernando Gomez-Pinilla, professor of neuropsychology at the University of Southern California, who has long studied the effects of nutrition on the brain says, "Food is like a pharmaceutical compound that affects the brain. The more balanced you make your meals, the more balanced will be your brain function-ing." Consider choosing …

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Persistent pain and sleep

If, on the other hand, he contributed effort, or in some way assumed responsibility for the task, either of those options would probably go a long way towards insuring the outcome that the habitual procrastinator so desperately seeks. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is an overall term describing a range of …

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You're either the lender or the borrower

When those needs are at odds with your being your authentic self, you must prevail. By avoiding the feed, I'm much more likely to use social media mindfully while still allowing time to connect with others proactively. Just as companies like Facebook and LinkedIn implement behavioral design to keep us …

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Coping with high-intensity triggers

We've discussed the hurdles you might encounter. Now you'll be reassessing the beliefs and rules that have protected you and have been your reality. Changing that now can feel risky and even frightening. Your mind may go blank when you try to come up with ideas. I want to start …

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Procrastination and depression

Stop allowing things to get in your way. Stop allowing people and things to make your job harder. Do what's necessary to make absolutely sure the path to your goals and getting your act together is clear and free of distraction. Then, keep it that way. We're spending time on …

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Take what other people say to you in stride

opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve." He continues on to further list his preferences and opinions. Now we have a deeper idea of who the character is, what he values. Using that as an example, and with input from my friends, I made a list of my …

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Would resting be better for me?

Linking superstitious beliefs and behaviors to coincidental events occurs because of a process that psychologists call operant conditioning. Skinner, the foremost proponent of operant conditioning and author of the famous article "Superstition in the Pigeon," convincingly demonstrated that coincidence develops superstitious behavior. Skinner put pigeons into separate cages and had …

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Celebrate good news

You may remember a lot from your childhood or not. Some memories may be fuzzier than others. You may feel as if you don't have enough "big" memories. But if they were significant somehow, please include them. Nothing should be discounted. Remember, you're using a lens of compassion. Remember that …

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