The first step is to learn what a closed question feels like, and when it is useful. Closed questions have one or two answers at the most: This one or that one? They are very useful when trying to encourage someone to make a task-based choice, like getting dressed or …

If necessary, purchase items to help you keep everything organized or ask your office manager if you might be able to order one through the office. If you like to have items in plain sight, get a desk organizer with room for everything you use. Test yourself by keeping track …

They start imagining what it would feel like if they made a mistake and lost their balance. At that point, their bodies respond by inducing dizziness and weak legs. Panic begins as they keep entertaining the prospect of falling and dying. This completes the cycle. As the body shows more …

It's got integrity, and it's me. If one gallery doesn't like it, another one will. Still, being a salesman invoked a totally different set of skills from those of an artist--or so at first Anthony believed. It felt as though being an artist and a huckster of art were mutually …

This is where the concept of practice comes in. Whether you're practicing on yourself with self-help techniques or helping someone else, it's important to practice your homework on a weekly basis. You will learn later on that CBT entails that patients do homework. When away from a therapist, it's important …

The more you interact with someone, the greater the opportunity to build mutually beneficial relationships. Simulating interaction initiates cooperation- it is Mother Nature's call: Let's Play Ball! The core of your cooperative instincts is reciprocity, the give and take that occurs in any relationship. We all know there are times- …

Over time, the process of making self-evaluations for our own survival became directed to others, for the intent of helping them survive and develop, too. Parents inevitably realized that by providing evaluative information to their children, perhaps about their hunting skills or their grooming habits, gave them an edge. The …

Hundreds of studies in cognitive psychology and cognitive therapy confirm that your thinking directly influences your feelings. In the case of your distorted thoughts, which typically occur in stressful situations and encounters, these feelings are apt to be anxiety, anger, and fear, and they're very upsetting. Instead of letting yourself …

The current overview describes the present scenario and attempts to predict the future of Chinese herbal medicine. Differences between traditional Chinese medicines and conventional medicines Although superficially similar, there are three critical differences between traditional Chinese drugs and traditional Chinese medicines: whole plant use-herbalists usually do not include several different …

Thus, their apparent strengths were accompanied by select areas of vulnerability. Recent reviews of the burgeoning literature on resilience in childhood and adolescence (Glantz & Sloboda, 1999 Luthar, Cicchetti, & Becker, 2000 Masten, 1999) underscore the need for greater operational precision and consistency in defining resilience as well as in specifying protective …

You may not be surprised to hear that the fear of speaking publicly constitutes one of the most common fears and, like many common fears, focuses on the fear of becoming stupid. Lack of trust is closely linked to being shy and self-conscious-however, it doesn't have to be lasting. At …

Remember, your safe person has heard you take the initiative to ask for the truth. There exists no concrete wall of denial to break through. The more rigorous you are with your own self-examination, the better it goes for you. And the converse is true: the more you minimize your …

? m. on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. It also happened to be Father's Day. There are innumerable ways to be a weapon against the world, and lobbing poop into someone else's happy day is a perfect example of how mundane and covert being a Clot can be, especially when using victimhood …

The bamboo pole is mental discipline such as speaking an affirmation of truth, repeating a mantra (a word we focus on and say in our minds over and over again), or simply giving single-pointed and undistracted attention to a task in hand. It's quite possible that unless we've reflected on …

? Brad knew exactly what kind of mood he was hurling that turd into. And even though it made him look mean, and stirred all kinds of self-pitying, he was willing to hurt himself to upset Joe. But was Joe hurt? Maybe he would have been a year ago, when Brad …

The farmer's kind neighbours came to visit him and expressed their sadness that the farmer didn't have the horse to help with his farm work. This is how the Clot feels, but it's not how the Clot acts. Instead, embracing the victim role, Clots corner those few remaining allies who …

will do absolutely anything you instruct me to do. % is commonly referred to as a grawlix, and other terms I've heard include profanitypes, obscenicons, and redactions), I offer impletive because it is an implied expletive. such, it allows each of us to make clear, definitive, indubitable, and explicit as possible …

Now clean it up, so the pole is smooth and perfectly prepared. 15 each person's concept of me is their most contemporary, up-to-date record of everything they've been through and everything that's been done to them. It's their reaction to all the people who hurt, scared, loved, and cared for …

Self rides in the chariot of the body, intellect the firm-footed charioteer, discursive mind the reins. There is another way. One of the most popular narratives in psychology is that we ought to protect ourselves from other people's toxicity--their selfishness, narcissism, and entitlement. But what about protecting ourselves from the …

The General's men came around the villages to conscript all the able-bodied men. This results in the dreaded sense that wrongs need to be righted, often at great personal and interpersonal expense. Resentment over having to do this heavy lifting is a gift that keeps on giving. Not only do …

Sanskrit has been useful every day of my life, enhancing my teaching, coaching and ordinary living. The real remedy to Clotishness is to put insight into action. That said, it's smart to have a sense of why people act like a Clot in the first place. The unconscious reason is …

As decades have passed, I have seen time and again how even a little of this consciousness, presence and wisdom is utterly transformative. Everything you think and feel about them is probably awfully similar to what they think and feel about you. So, go ahead and say hello. You're also …

adding kara to aham means that we experience a limit on our feeling of existence. our Clottery to the past and present contexts in which it was born may be scary at first, but in so doing, we can experience a broader emotional life. self-talk impacts how we see and …

To hear what this source wisdom is saying is one thing, to put it into practice is quite another. That is very bad news, because there's nothing we can do about the problem if it's not us. Sometimes owning up to our dissociated and denied self-experience obstructs how we need …

Aham is a sense or feeling of existence. The goal of drive can be to miss its mark, making it a powerful underlying force to sustain bad behavior and block awareness of anxiety. For instance, when Erica's fiance cancelled their engagement she became what she calls a serial dater. Erica …

We will experience fear if that is the meaning we hold. Clots are inclinced to believe that it wasn't the caretaker's fault, it was theirs. Acting out at a young age might have started as a protest against being treated poorly, but it winds up as resignation. A young Clot …

The choice is simple, but the consequences are profound. Basically, our defenses are put into play in important relationships again and again. Our feelings then become enacted indefinitely. In new relationships and amongst strangers, we replay the unresolved conflicts and relationship dynamics that caused us to install our defenses in …

Frequency is how often you practice. This state is referred to as the depressive position. If we can reach this position in which we accept gray areas in our lives, each other, and ourselves, we can think differently about our hostility. For example, if being a Clot is your way …

The next faculty of the mind, the Buddhi or the Intellect, shines brightly with the light of intelligence. He stated: Because of the unknown quantity in me which reminded Dora of Herr K. , she took her revenge on me as she wanted to take her revenge on him - Thus she …

The further back the arrow is pulled on the string, the further and straighter the arrow travels towards its target. You start mumbling and giving them dirty looks. You call someone a jerk. You tell yourself all these people are entitled, selfish, narcissistic assholes who, when they come close to …

For us, this was indulgence, meant for a rare celebration. If your traditional faith community is a place of great human flourishing, if you increasingly love God and people more, I celebrate it. We are all just taking various roads to the same home. Wherever you ask them, you will …

As one phase undergoes dissolution, it leaves the space for something new to arise: a new awareness, a new consciousness, a new foundation. I once struggled to not blow up a much-cherished, multi-year project with colleagues I cared for deeply (and still do! . ) Since I didn't want to lose their …

While our ordinary experience may be one of limitation, throughout time all the wisdom traditions tell us that the limits we feel are imagined and superimposed on that limitless universal self. We all carry around more than our fair share of unexpressed anger. Yet acting like a Clot makes you …

They may not realize how meaningful the Sanskrit words are. The downside of this advice is that persistently anticipating these types of people, and rigorously protecting ourselves from their notorious behavior, leads to a state of constant anxiety. This may trigger our own Clotish behavior, as we preemptively overprotect ourselves …

For example, all their friends have an iPhone 10. Of course, we all understand the appeal of gossip. It's human to enjoy the surprise at a sudden disclosure, the impact of a scandalous revelation. But as forcefully as I can, I'm telling you: gossip has absolutely no place among friends …

Timeless wisdom resonated with me from the start. parsing through old relationships, you'll bring up the suppressed anxieties that cause you to act like a Clot not always, but frequently enough. also learn the difference between being right and being righteous, and how the latter is the most limiting behavior …

We do this by firmly establishing our conscious awareness deep within our true being: the heart of who we truly are. Being a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst is my day job, and from that realm I can assure you there is no formal diagnosis for being a Clot, or for …

If your requests are just useless, that shows quite a large and unusual failing in that person. He saw the bigger picture and wanted to take action, but again, Americans rejected punitive action, especially in the form of taxation. Reduction in sugar intake not only improves individual health but would …

It is the confidence you experience when you are awake and aware of your own potential and strength. My professional acquaintance with a twelve-step recovery program began in the late 1980s, when I took my adolescent psychiatric clients to A. A. meetings in Newport Beach, California. There, I noticed that …

I am asking questions. Look - look. We're both flaming now but don't forget: I love you, your happiness is the crucial thing, this negative rush we're stuck in will only last five minutes. How 'bout we shut up for a sec, get in a big hug and a kiss, then …