You are in charge of your own behaviour

How many of us go pop! in response to the jagged threats of narcissism, bullying, or passive-aggressive behavior? How many of us try and set appropriate boundaries in life? Reflecting back on this year, I am horrified at what I permitted inside the confines of my personal bubble: negative nonsense …

more ...

Keep your mind sharp

In some cases, for example, the core has a whole separate house of her own, not just a study in the main house. If a patient already has a safe place, I often suggest that she lift it into the new Safe Place. One patient created a whole amusement park …

more ...


Take a stand when you fall

Cognitive learning is about how we think and assess a situation. It may include labeling certain situations as "dangerous" instead of "anxietyprovoking" or "uncomfortable." It also can prime our development of beliefs that not only is our world dangerous, but that our capacity to respond to that danger is inadequate …

more ...


Compare less - appreciate more

Simply plunk down and unwind with some tea or coffee. In the struggle for survival, nearly every form of life has its mimics--right down to some of the most primitive pathogens. By adopting certain critical features of useful hormones or nutrients, these clever bacteria and viruses can gain entry into …

more ...





Go for good enough

First, if you eat infrequently, as shown in the top diagram above, your body slows down fat burning while ramping up fat storage. Similar problems occur when you eat foods that turn off the metabolic thermostat. Essentially, your body begins to sense that you are starving (for lack of nutrients …

more ...

Point out common ground

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. We sometimes walk in unusual environments that are unstable underfoot, such as while on a boat at sea, or inside an aeroplane in turbulence. Walking while the ground moves - something deeply unnatural and unsettling - can demonstrate how the vestibular system …

more ...

Agree where you can

But, these are not your life. Just parts of it. You are an expert on one thing in the Universe. YOU. Who else, after all, could you ask if you want to find out what makes you happy? So what does make you happy? The things that you have come …

more ...

Don't counterattack or respond to provocation

As a bonus, the fibers are very beneficial to prevent constipation, which can round your belly. There is a scientific explanation for the popularity of low-carbohydrate diets: large amounts of carbohydrate from white flour and added sugar can wreak havoc on your blood sugar level (the amount of sugar in …

more ...

Letting go of unhelpful perfectionism

A tennis match, a guided tour of a natural park or city, a bike ride or bowling. On average, the most sedentary people make between 2000 and 3000 steps per day. By adding 2000 steps daily, you could manage to maintain your current weight and stop weight gain. Add more …

more ...

Have a contingency plan

Looking in the mirror and facing our standards and goals by looking in the eye would help weight loss. In this way, it is easier to stop eating and remember why you want to lose weight. The Disease Control Center in the United States has revealed that simply climbing up …

more ...

Outside the family

If you have a particular urge for a food, you are probably not hungry, but you are simply greedy. If, on the contrary, you eat the first food on your way, then you are probably really hungry. Find another way to fulfill your emotional needs and eat only when you …

more ...

Be a broken record

Better late than never, of course! Unfortunately, it has taken some of these students a decade or more to learn this lesson. Because I don't know why Julia didn't respond to my text and whether or not she is annoyed by texts like that, I will make a point of …

more ...

Understanding our false self

Our close relatives, the chimpanzees, use an intermediate form of bipedalism, where they walk using a combination of their hands and feet. This adaption is known as `knucklewalking', and it is not an especially efficient way of getting around.5 Many birds also walk on land on two legs - but …

more ...


Be aware of your thoughts, feelings and responses

This step requires asking the question, "What experiences have I had to support the healthier and more productive view I discerned in Step Five?" After all the feelings are sorted out comes the moment when the truth is told. Admitting that your feelings are yours, owning them as your reality …

more ...

How to overcome a fear of failure

A sixteenth-century philosopher who laid the foundations of scientific inquiry, Bacon advises us to clear our minds of certain preconceptions that can destroy our ability to think objectively. Within the general structure of my life I also have some schedules. Life goes better if I stick to a schedule. This …

more ...

Why is meditation important?

Note that each of these thoughts is a particular type of desolation (to use Saint Ignatius' term), because each one makes it more difficult to draw near to God or to cooperate with his grace. These thoughts make it harder to pursue meaningful, intimate, and virtuous responses to our problems …

more ...

It's ok to ask for time

The person who catastrophizes lives in a perpetual state of "But what if? What if?" When feelings are not dealt with, they become bottled up and create a blockage, both personally and interpersonally. This, in turn, isolates you from yourself and your world. The fastest and surest way to become …

more ...

Do you take ownership of your stress?

Now he's trying to find a direction. The second quality that consolations will always point toward is intimacy. Research in positive psychology points out that happy, peaceful people work hard to make their relationships as strong and healthy as they reasonably can (Seligman, 2004). Our Catholic tradition agrees that strong …

more ...


Are you in denial of the stresses in your life?

Building upon Saint Ignatius' model, I argue that, drawing from other teachings both in our Christian tradition and in research in positive psychology (a branch of psychology that studies the habits and thinking patterns of emotionally healthy, happy people) can further clarify what consolations and desolations look like. Specifically, consolations …

more ...

Go and give someone a great big hug

The sixteenth-century political philosopher Thomas Hobbes says to treat others with the same dignity with which you would want to be treated. Hobbes puts his own spin on the golden rule: "Do not that to another which you would not have done to yourself" (Hobbes, 1939, 172). In disrespecting others …

more ...





Surround yourself with positive and like-minded people

You experience unpleasant physiological, psychological, and/or emotional symptoms. You experience trauma at the thought or reality of separating from your addiction. You become angry, justify your right to have or use it, and act out to preserve your right to do what you want. If you had to flee …

more ...