Be bold and aware of your thoughts

You're worried about it. Worry forces you to think about little else over the weekend other than getting to see a doctor on Monday. It's annoying that you can think of little else, but the fact that you are so preoccupied makes it likely you'll go and see the doctor …

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There's a science to likability

We may feel fear, worry, restlessness, or boredom. These reactions are also universal. We should simply note them and then generalize. We should realize that these reactions are normal human responses, and can arise in anybody. The practice of this style of comparison may feel forced and artificial at first …

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Are you critical of other people?

I won't quarrel with that. But the secondary gain of educating the public is far more valuable. One of the greatest ways we make sense of the world is by hearing the stories of others. Through their narratives, we measure and reframe our internal thoughts and feelings, learn that we're …

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Habitual procrastinators tend to float through life

There is an amusing passage by the British novelist Kingsley Amis on this subject. Amis was writing at the time about his strategies for recovering from a hangover, after a binge of nighttime drinking, but if you replace the word "hangover" in this passage with "panic attack," it reveals a …

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Overloaded and overwhelmed

Keeps your bones strong and joints healthy. Helps you maintain a healthy weight. Helps you maintain your independence well into your later years.1 Constantly fighting your emotions can be like playing an exhausting game of tug-of-war with a monster. What might happen if you just put down the rope …

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Strategies for working with emotional over-control

It is also possible, and in fact not at all uncommon, that a successful person may attribute a great deal of positive characteristics to someone whose influence at the time was entirely negative or destructive, yet the person accommodated or adapted that negative experience in a healthful and positive way …

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Tips to help you get going

"The results suggested that suppressing the thought for the first five minutes caused it to `rebound' even more prominently into the participants' minds later," according to an article in Monitor on Psychology. Wegner later dubbed this tendency "ironic process theory" to explain why it's so difficult to tame intruding thoughts …

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What not to do

Why is that? There is often considerable evidence that both supports and contradicts the hypothesis tested. If we focus primarily on the supporting data, we're more likely to accept that hypothesis, even though the contradictory information may be more compelling. In essence, when we use a confirming strategy, we rely …

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Willingly admit your mistakes

However, true experiments are difficult to perform on this issue because you can't force a random sample of people to smoke or stop smoking. As a consequence, researchers had to analyze the incidence of illness in smokers and nonsmokers. But any observed differences in one study could have been the …

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Experience influences thinking

Thomas Edison's productivity was boosted by napping. Napoleon Bonaparte would nap anywhere he could because he was so busy he didn't know when the next opportunity to rest would present itself. Leonardo Da Vinci took a 15-minute naps every 4 hours and slept less at night. On top of 10 …

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Learn to accept yourself

So, keep in mind that evaluating risk for suicide is not like setting up a list of pros and cons. There is no specific formula for detecting and preventing suicide. What I recommend is to look at a person's biology, biography, risk, and protective factors--as well as her or his …

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Looking for patterns

It directly influences the content and quality of every moment that you live. We needn't consider ourselves to be religious in order to invite prayer into our lives. In my eyes, prayers of love, gratitude and care are powerful, healing energetic frequencies that do count, and do make a real …

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Striving to make the other happy while together in company

While early contradictory evidence may blur our understanding, later work often brings the picture into sharper focus. When programs to help disadvantaged children, such as Head Start, were first studied, we saw headlines like "Early Intervention Raises IQs by Thirty Points," along with "Head Start a Failure." What are we …

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Unpleasant states of mind

He can even schedule, "8:30 pm -9:30 PM - goofing-off", if he wants. But now, whatever he does, he's doing it on purpose, with intention, and his evening is more likely to turn out satisfying to him. He still has to deal with distractions that would pull him away …

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Was theactivity consistent with my values?

Its effects have in recent studies been likened to those of smoking and obesity combined. Centenarians living in Blue Zones' around the world, those living happily and healthily into old age, are invariably living in community. <a href='http://major.majz.com/t10-Aim-for-a-voice-and-tone-for-your-website-that-s-conversational-friendly-and-respectful.htm#p12'>(Blue Zones' are areas around …

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How to oversome laziness

If you cannot do that, people will grow bored and walk away. Remember, they're going to ask "what's in this for me" and it's your job to show them as quickly as possible. So, when you meet, you should treat them like old friends - buddies that can rely on each …

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Meeting someone for the first time

It reestablishes itself simply by noticing that it has not been present. As soon as you are noticing that you have not been noticing, then by definition you are noticing and then you are back again to paying bare attention. Mindfulness creates its own distinct feeling in consciousness. It has …

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Overcoming habitual procrastination

The state bureau that issued his medical license first tried to persuade him to enter treatment. Many states have "impaired physician (and nurse)" programs, where doctors and nurses are identified and offered a plan in which a medical license may initially be suspended but restored when it is safe to …

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Physical activity and pain

In that situation, I'm like a scared cat getting dipped in ice water - I'm not having that shit. But wrong in the sense that he failed to recognize my stubbornness would take me extremely far if I pointed it in the right direction and stayed consistently persistent. Calvin Coolidge said …

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Verbal cues in a conversation

Our propensity to overvalue the things we have is exploited every day by the business community. Marketers understand that when we buy a product and take it home, the endowment effect will take over and we won't want to return it. And so, we see furniture retailers enticing us to …

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When is it time to monitor?

In addition to the risks during surgery, there are also lasting side effects after the procedure, such as an inability to absorb certain vitamins and minerals and an intolerance to specific foods. Finally, the surgeries are not a guarantee against future weight gain. Research from McGill University in Canada suggests …

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Where to find the science

I'm talking about knowing the essentials that will make you an expert on the opposite sex. There are universal rules to becoming likeable to the opposite sex, and once you know what they are you can decode a person's desire right off the bat. To some, it's known as their …

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Why discipline is important

The more it hurts. The weaker you feel yourself getting. Stress from running isn't doing damage and it doesn't stop a lot of us from ever running again. If we run all of the time, it doesn't hurt that bad, it makes us stronger, and we enjoy it more. The …

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Willingness is the key

(Though I wonder if this business will last now that California has legalized recreational marijuana.) And if she did have a heart attack while driving, wouldn't this force her to fly off the road and crash? As she keeps thinking these thoughts, her heart starts pounding, and her breathing becomes …

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Do you feel shy in social situations?

These positive emotions in turn orient us to keep behaving in ways that promote our continued experience of these positive emotional states. And even when it seems like luck is not on our side and we can't catch a break, we can always stand behind our choice to do our …

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Move a muscle, change a thought

It's done. Don't feel one way or the other about the future. See it as, "I'm busy dealing with today and I'll deal with the future when it gets here. I won't waste my time worrying about it." Try to avoid fast food' as it usually contains more fat and …

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Stay up late instead of going to bed on time

When you put things down in print before you, they somehow become undeniable. If you want to move from the place you're currently at and into a better place, you'll need to have a clear awareness of the present spot first. A lack of action in either constitutes action for …

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Challenge your thinking patterns

In addition, remember that it's important to begin building up a reserve of inner strength. One good way of doing that is by training yourself to stick with your more difficult tasks as you encounter them. Part of a habitual procrastinator's persona is to change direction immediately after he's faced …

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How to merit and maintain others' trust

Pay attention to life, and maybe you'll discover and draw inspiration from your childhood experiences. Sometimes it also helps to develop these passions by diving into uncommitted ventures. By uncommitted, I mean activities in a nonprofessional sense. Perhaps you can volunteer or join an organization that will help you nourish …

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How widespread is depression?

A variant, also ineffective, is having uniformed policemen come to schools and warn students about the laws against drug use and the misery of prison. They may feel good for the moment, especially for educators desperate to help, but these warnings also don't work. Rattling on about consequences is akin …

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Pursuing happiness can make you sad

As a clinician, I see this all the time. It's hard to appeal to a child or adolescent about the need for "commitment to treatment" because they're young and feel invincible. They roll their eyes or give me an I-know-what's-better-for-me-than-you look. Though it's easier to plead this case to adults …

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Socially inappropriate behavior

97% of us are borrowing money to create the illusion of having money and only 3% of us actually have money and own what it looks like we own. We think of debt-free as some kind of wonderful accomplishment when it's actually what normal is supposed to look like! Of …

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When aha moments become defining moments

That you're only working for yourself because you think you're too good to have a normal job like everyone else. You will hear it all. There will always be an opinion lurking around the corner and it will come from a person who's inexperienced, unmotivated, and all talk and no …

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