Forget what other people think

If you are halfway through the scariest horror novel you ever read, your meditation is going to be full of monsters. So switch the order of events. Do your meditation first. Then read or go to the movies. Accept that anger, guilt, and fear may be making you ill (emotionally …

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Progressive exposure

Another subtle culprit: margarine. Stick to real butter, as margarine is high in unhealthy trans-fatty acids, along with coloring additives and emulsifiers. Refined sugars. Avoid foods high in refined sugar, like cookies, most juices, and of course candy. The trouble is they have a detrimental effect on your blood sugar …

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Rejoicing in your life

Spirituality, sometimes voiced as faith, is protective against alcoholism and drug abuse. Those who hold to a spiritual existence, who sense a more universal "power" than that possessed by humans, are less likely to develop an addiction. Holding to spiritual beliefs, to faith in its secular meaning, is instrumental to …

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What is learned helplessness?

Yes, I did, good. What if it doesn't work this time... And so on. This is one form of anxiety disorder that is most prevalent among children and is associated with a particular stage of developmental psychology. As most experts in child psychology have long recognized, children go through a …

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Do you make decisions easily?

That number was famously set by British anthropologist Robin Dunbar (and the number of meaningful friends we can have has duly been named "Dunbar's number"). He came to this while studying how primates groom one another, extending to humans the hypothesis that the average size of a species' brain reflects …

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Give enough away to build interest

Here's how to make forgiveness a part of your recovery: Make a clear choice. If you've harbored resentment and a desire for revenge against someone for a long time, your mind will resist your attempts to reverse direction and forgive. To signal that you are serious about getting free, create …

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Reduce negative influences

If you sit down expecting grinding drudgery, that is probably what will occur. So set up a daily pattern that you can live with. Make it reasonable. Make it fit with the rest of your life. And if it starts to feel like you're on an uphill treadmill toward liberation …

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The sense that your life has meaning and purpose

We are never going to get anywhere unless we expect more of ourselves, the educational system, our government, and employers (who in turn need to expect more of their employees). Higher expectations across the board are what will inspire the creativity, imagination, and the can-do attitude we need to solve …

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Trauma and tragedy

One Russian commander reported that when the soldiers stopped shaving, they stopped caring, they became sloppy and complacent, and more of them were killed. Superiors don't make soldiers shave, iron their uniforms, make their beds right, and keep their rooms spotless because it's fun. It's because they need soldiers to …

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I feel safe in the rhythm and flow of life

There are several things you can do to manage the unhelpful impact that a fear of failure can have. The main problem with a fear of failure is that it tends to operate on an unconscious level. Think back to when you've had an opportunity to achieve something - to learn …

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Sample a complaint sandwich

Sometimes, though, we need an even more explicit way to signal our request for interruption-free time, particularly when we're working from home. Using the same principles to block unwanted external triggers, my wife bought a hard-to-miss headpiece on Amazon for just a few dollars. She calls it the "concentration crown …

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What is the purpose of pain?

It's just paper that comes and goes based on your logical decision-making process. Emotions and money are like fire and gasoline - together, they're completely destructive. Emotional sloppiness plus emotional attachment to money equals financial sloppiness. We spend during emotional highs because we feel good and then, we spend during emotional …

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Reducing unfriendliness

This means you will set aside a certain period to interact with absolutely no technology. This might be a full day, a weekend, or a week. For many people, this kind of detox will be difficult; for other people, it sounds downright impossible. But it's not only possible; it is …

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Thought patterns and alternatives

It feels bad, but the positive intention of that pain is to protect you. It's the same with emotional pain; it can prompt you to take positive action. What about a difficult emotion such as regret? How can that be positive? The positive intent of regret is to prompt you …

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Tips for building and maintaining trust

The intensity depends on how much effort you are putting into it. To estimate the intensity of your physical activity, use the Talking Test. If you are able to talk while exercising, that is a moderate activity. If you are out of breath, that is a vigorous activity. Or you …

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How much stress is healthy?

Have more targets than you think you can hit. Be a little more ambitious than you usually are. Seek to accomplish more than you think you can. Les Brown says, Most people fail in life not because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and …

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How people read you

But, if we don't realize there is a problem to be solved or if we grow close minded against potential solutions, things can get a little messy. It's a pretty cool phenomenon if you think about it, but most people don't think about it and few of us ever take …

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Negative feelings assertion

People with this condition fear being with others and may avoid being around people or being seen eating in public or being in any situation where the person feels he or she is going to be evaluated in any way. Panic disorder is another way of describing a condition where …

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Pursuing a different happiness

You hit the button to switch to full screen. And you sit back for "just one more." This is the moment when you choose to keep watching TV instead of going to sleep at your bedtime, procrastinating on a goal behavior because it seems optional. What are the consequences? Right …

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Accessibility barriers

They grow up fast. Before long they won't be wanting you to do things with them; they will be out on their own. I work a lot at home: record keeping, book writing, repair projects, etc. But I made a rule: if Michael asks me to play with him, I …

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Can i really learn to control my anxiety?

As one former employee said of Slack, "They really did try to be a psychologically safe company. It's just that not everyone was equally skilled at maneuvering some of those nuances." Creating the kind of company where people feel comfortable raising concerns without the fear of getting fired takes work …

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Nervous? you're not alone

A phrase I often use to point out the five main mischief-makers in our culture's diet is "devitalized food." By this, I am talking about food that has had virtually every good or "vital" thing stripped or removed from it. You'll notice that most of the elements I mention above …

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Personalization and blame

They also reported decreases in perceived stress, depression, and anxiety levels. One of the most attractive traits anyone can have is a sense of humor, but some types of funny are less healthy than others. Researchers asked forty-three males and sixty-six females to complete questionnaires about their humor styles, subjective …

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Avoid personal responsibility

The right to choose is both a burden and privilege and it all started at a very young age. At first it's nothing more than, "Do I eat my peas and carrots?" All too soon, it becomes so very much more. As you get older, bigger, stronger, and "smarter," the …

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Don't worry about making them happy

It's not the only factor, but it is the most important factor. Lots of skills and abilities have to be in congruence to make this happen. Some folks in the stands may have been praying, and some may have been meditating. The one thing in common is that the focus …

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Keep a journal handy

If each one of us were to awaken to our own magical, self-healing potential and come to know simple, true comfort and happiness from within, we would be able to step aside from the constant seeking of bliss and into the lived experience of it. What if we weren't anxious …

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What can i do about my stress?

There are a wide range of different treatment options available for helping children, adolescents, and adults dealing with depression. Still, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, and the treatment that people with depression may receive will often depend on what symptoms they happen to be showing, their life history, the treatment …

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How can i do what matters to me?

Each month the bill is due, create a new line and fill in the information. Every time you get paid, after paying yourself 20%, develop the habit of opening Mint.com, your spreadsheet, or your other method of tracking bills and pay what you owe. This habit reinforces the bills …

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Know your stress patterns

So much action the whole day goes by and you don't even notice. Squeeze everything you can out of your days and life. Become aggressive about getting everything done. If you normally get up at 7 AM, get up at 4, 5, 6 AM and start earlier. If you take …

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Respond to your tasks in a logical way

As a result of his procrastinating, he not only feels inadequate to others, but worse, he may worry that he's becoming incapable of living any other way of life. Most of the time, he feels stuck, especially when faced with a complicated task, or one that he perceives of as …

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Talk back to difficult thoughts and emotions

Nevertheless, Rio de Janeiro in Brazil turned out to be the place with the kindest people on earth - more helpful than those in Copenhagen, for example - even though Rio has about twelve times more citizens than the Danish capital. (One curious thing: Copenhagen is a city where people are more …

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