You never know what's around the corner. Life doesn't tend to remain easy or stable or predictable for very long. Consider the following cases: You come home from work to your husband, a school psychologist at the local elementary school, who seems really, really down. You find out that he …

No chatter. No arguing. How could there be nothing? How could she be nothing? I struggle to my feet, wiping the dirt off my hands. There's a concrete bench and I sit down, pulling my jacket in a little tighter to my body even though it's not cold. The brown …

But there was no way around it. I was happy with my sex life. I just wasn't interested in examining and discussing it. A few months back, when I first told Sally I was going to optimize sex, she said have fun, but I'm out. For a monogamous person like …

It was just past midnight when I read the last sura of the Koran. It was only a few lines long, but I felt like I had climbed a mountain. The message of the Koran seemed pretty straightforward: recognize Allah and accept his message as passed on to Mohammed and …

Andre, May 23 had enjoyed my week as a Buddhist, but as a new week arrived, it was time to move on to Hinduism, a religion I knew almost nothing about. I was in an Indian vegetarian restaurant in Soho, flicking through the Bhagavad Gita when an overweight Indian guy …

Mooji asked. It sounded like a harsh critique of the notion of self-improvement. Which was rather ironic since I was here to improve my spiritual powers, right? A few articles later: Best is just be nothing. Later in the evening, we were back in the meditation room. A woman in …

What do you want to know? Whatever you feel like telling me. I think about my response for a minute. She had this really quirky sense of humor. For her birthday, she always tried to ask for something weird. The stranger and harder to find, the better. Shopping was always …

He doesn't look so thrilled about it to me. I saw this show on TV this weekend where this guy walked his cat everywhere on a leash just like a dog. So how did that work for you so far? I actually already know the answer, since I just watched …

By the time the myth of Japanese quality was proven to be the new reality, it was too late. It's a tragic story, really. Many auto factories have shut down and thousands of Americans have lost much-needed jobs. The end of the story is the most tragic of all. In …

Now I am on dangerous ground. My quick little white lie is going to need some creative detail. So what are you going to wear to the competition? I ask, trying to change the subject. It's too late. You DO have plans. What kind of plans? Raylene's eyes narrow in …

Being highly engaged in activities that aren't hurtful to yourself or others--working hard, producing something--is what I have dubbed production therapy. I use the word therapy because I believe productivity creates healing. It works because it's impossible to be productive and stagnant at the same time. When we allow ourselves …

I later read on kundaliniguide. The music became faster. We were dancing around the room in circles. I was getting exhausted as it had been a long day. The music stopped and we sat down. We were instructed to remain still and not to move for fifteen minutes. This proved …

The photos of New Orleans taken during this time tell heart-wrenching stories of the unspeakable devastation; There was no food, no drinkable water, no power, and no authority in sight to curb the chaos that ensued as a result. At the center of the tragedy was the Superdome, a last-resort …

You need anything else? I notice for the first time that she's young and pretty, and giving Luis a big smile. I feel a flash of instant jealousy, but Luis doesn't seem to pay her much attention. Instead, he looks across the table at me with raised eyebrows, and I …

There are people in our lives who walk around each day with hopelessness and despair. Chances are we don't have any idea who they are--possibly the guy two cubicles down from yours at work, or the lady you sat by on the bus today, or even the seemingly popular, has-it-all-going-for-him …

If you can, establish a kind of written conversation with these parts of self. It doesn't matter if it's all imaginary -- you'll still be learning about your inner life. Mental imagery: If you are good at seeing mental images, you may find mental imagery a useful approach. What's this project …

The main qualifications are that (1) the activity is something you really enjoy and (2) there is no time frame for completion of the work other than those you set. GETTING STARTED WITH UNNECESSARY CREATING As with Idea Time, Unnecessary Creating should have a set regular time for engaging in …

Other valued areas Example list of not-so-random acts of values and compassion Another way to bring compassion to the world is to send compassionate and caring intentions out to your fellow human beings and the world. Each tries to advance your interests in some way (even if sometimes it has …

I guess I end up asking myself whether something can happen without me. If it could, I pull out. Is that possibly just a way of trying to make yourself feel needed? That's the idea. I glance over at him. His eyes are straight ahead, his expression still solemn. My …

Dr Richard Schwartz is a leading light in the field known as internal family systems therapy (IFS). This approach combines principles of family therapy with the concept that the self is made up of many different parts. We all, according to Schwartz, contain many different beings. So all he does …

Not really. I'm just not a walker anymore. I guess we all have to start somewhere, I say. Adult Day Care Other than a friendly visitor coming to your home to be the temporary, substitute caregiver, there is another type of respite service for men caring for an adult who …

Generally speaking. She paused. Who comes up with the ideas? The noodles and bright red sauce slopped all over me, dripping down my hair and face and staining my beloved shirt. I thought I was going to die. Tears welled up in my eyes and streamed down my face. She …

You can engage in centering rhythmic breathing, place your hand on your heart, or make another self-compassionate gesture. Recall the felt sense and qualities of your compassionate self. Once you're in touch with the part of you that is kind, strong, and committed to the well-being of yourself and those …

Can you continue to respect your parent's independence? Source: National Institute on Aging (2010, Aug. So far away: Twenty questions and answers about long-distance caregiving (NIH Publication No. To begin, sit with your eyes closed and bring your awareness to the flow of your breath in and out of the …

Take for example the Challenge Make Commercial Air Travel Fun. Then make a list under each header of words that immediately come to mind when considering the problem from that angle. In other words, free-associate--just write down whatever comes to mind. The back door opens and Mom comes in with …

Transactional analysis was a theory (and a movement) based on the work of Dr Eric Berne, who trained in Freudian psychoanalysis and practiced as a psychotherapist for many years. He was the author of the bestselling articles Games People Play and What Do You Say After You Say Hello? Other …

Spreading the peanut butter on my toast becomes a very necessary task. Maybe you should see someone. A doctor or something. BALANCING WORK AND CARE Don't be surprised if one day you need to consider discussing your caregiving responsibilities with your employer and perhaps agree on certain adjustments in your …

Experienced Cognitive Behavioral Therapist. Accredited. And here: I provide individual programs for clients enabling them to resolve their difficulties and move on with their lives. Now, think of a situation in which this perceived limitation could be used in a positive way. You may want to ask friends or family …

You won't be able to change your negative self-talk without noticing it and making a conscious choice to change it. Some people find it helpful to keep a self-talk log. Carry a small notearticle, and every time you notice a negative self-talk thought, write it in the log. I would …

Certainly, some results will be generated--just like small jackpots that keep gamblers pumping coins into the machine--but over time this kind of activity only drains our creative bank account. An investment mind-set, however, is focused on the long term. We know that we might not see an immediate return on …

What's interesting is that most men actually report an improvement in their health once they retire. Many retired men take up something athletic, such as daily walking or regular golf or tennis several times a week, which carries over to promote being and feeling healthy. Equally important, the opportunity to …

Being self-critical just lowers your mood further and applies extra pressure. Being kind to yourself and using encouraging self-talk can help you to bounce back from a disappointment and to focus on the next step.Goals Actions or Practice Effectiveness Rating (0-10) Notes or Observations Check In with Yourself Here …

Bandura works with people like her to desensitize them from this fear. During the course of the lunch he went on to explain this process--typically it would start with him saying, There's a snake in the next room. We're going to go in there. Common practice in the workplace is …

Last month Carl accused me of not being committed enough. So, what did you think about that? It was unfair, I said. For example, when someone with social anxiety goes to a party, they should identify strategies for temporary escape and avoidance in advance, such as going into the bathroom …

When his kids got home from school, he could really listen to how their day was, paying attention to their body language when he communicated with them. I asked him to do this in his career as well, to pay attention to the details, to do everything thoroughly and with …

The next time you interact with someone whose opinion is different than your own, make a conscious effort not to argue, and instead seek a more complete understanding of that person's point of view. When we feel the pain of discrimination, disrespect, and regret, we can either give in, or …

The new norm is that 50 percent of men who retire do not end their work careers until sometime after their sixty-fifth birthday and often well after their sixty-seventh or seventieth birthday. A key issue is our precarious financial preparation versus our projected longer life span. As one 45-year-old man …

I sent Andre an email telling him I was now going for 1,000. As I was sitting in our kitchen, late at night, staring into the wall, memorizing more numbers, it dawned on me: Andre would never do what I was doing. He'd never put the same amount of …

Edith viewed Frank's efforts to get her to quit her job as an effort to make her dependent. Feeling rejected, Frank turned to his parents for moral support. Frank's mother and older sister started to pay Edith visits, pointing out that Edith's behavior was making Frank feel bad. I was …

While it's admirable to be disciplined and focused, we don't want to leave great creative insights on the table simply because we'd rather stay in our comfort zone. We must deliberately build new, different, and challenging experiences into our lives. This means setting aside time to put ourselves in stimulating …