Who says that compassion is a sign of weakness? Who says that I cannot find the courage to be who I really am? Make your personal list. Remember, these are investigations not opinions. The purpose is not to create new judgments of any person or thing. We are observing and …

Our close relatives, the chimpanzees, use an intermediate form of bipedalism, where they walk using a combination of their hands and feet. This adaption is known as `knucklewalking', and it is not an especially efficient way of getting around.5 Many birds also walk on land on two legs - but …

A virtue is a quality that every human being displays when we are at our best. Remember, in an earlier chapter, when I asked you to imagine your Whole, Healed, Godly, Grace-filled self? All the good qualities you imagined this version of yourself possessing are virtues. Whenever a mood enhancer …

Perhaps you tried your best to do only good for your children, your parents, or your friends, but things simply didn't go according to plan. Then: "Oh, I should have known better! Why didn't I see that coming? It's all my fault!" The difference between you and the mouse, says …

Wrong! In fact, achievement perfectionists are likely to be in a state of constant anxiety, whether or not they are producing good prose. They never know when the productivity might come to a screeching halt. If Julia has been mean or disrespectful in the past, it may very well be …

We need to receive positive reinforcement for accomplishing things, even if we have to give it to ourselves, which is often the case. We're not good at rewarding ourselves and we need to intentionally practice. We can set up rewards as a motivating factor for a specific task. Just the …

Decreasing toxic forms of perfectionism can lessen these conditions simultaneously (Lowndes et al., 2018). The truth is, anxiety is such a commonplace experience that we often feel like there is something wrong with us when we aren't feeling anxious. We wonder what new threat to our security or peace we …

While experiencing the joy of sparkling might sound like an abstract notion, it is surprisingly simple. When we find our bliss within, we may find it in one another and in our world around us. Maintainers actually exercise longer and harder than people who've never been overweight. In one study …

It could be when there's a large gap in your schedule, it's a particular time of day, or you're doing a certain activity. Notice what causes a poor mood, the moments when you get trapped in TRAPs, and the times that you forget to plan. Because Sheila knows that her …

We've discussed the hurdles you might encounter. Now you'll be reassessing the beliefs and rules that have protected you and have been your reality. Changing that now can feel risky and even frightening. Your mind may go blank when you try to come up with ideas. I want to start …

As Fried suggests, "Chat should be about quick, ephemeral things," while "important topics need time, traction, and separation from the rest of the chatter." The trouble is that some people like to "think out loud" in group chat, explaining their arguments and ideas in one-line blurbs. This rarely works because …

Now! Right now I'm thinking about it, it's on my mind. "Now" will get it done; it won't be hanging over my head and cluttering up my mind any more. I noticed that often I would think about something - "Oh, I need to do that. I will get to it …

In your life right now, there may be lots of people who believe in and encourage you. Your "supporting cast" may number in the hundreds, yet I'd be willing to bet that if you have even one or two critics--one or two naysayers--those "noisy" few can command your full attention …

It's good to challenge yourself every now and then, especially when it comes to the way in which you approach your tasks. This will often require you to break your larger tasks down into smaller pieces. Like the old saying goes, How do you eat an elephant? The answer is …

Owning up to them can be challenging, so be gentle as well as honest with yourself. See what insights you gain. You will likely start to notice patterns: Maybe there is a particular time of day when you are vulnerable to sneaking in a bite. Perhaps when you're stressed you …

I learned something else interesting from my brother when I was talking to him and seeking his thoughts, opinion, and advice on a situation that was making me "frustrated", "irritated", and "angry". He cut me off and said, "Well, Marc, that's where I think you're making a mistake. You're letting …

Suppose for a moment that we changed tasks because our second task was indeed more important than the original task we were working on. All we'd need to do then would be to act on the second task until its completion, and then return to our original task. However, that's …

Unfortunately, this digital debris costs us time, degrades performance, and kills concentration. Unsurprisingly, our brains have a tougher time finding things when they are positioned in a disorganized manner, which means every errant icon, open tab, or unnecessary bookmark serves as a nagging reminder of things left undone or unexplored …

The urge then, of course, is to resume using to end the agony of the crash. Anxiety and panic will never "drive you insane." There is no causal link between anxiety and other mental illnesses. Excessive anxiety or panic will not cause you to start hearing voices, seeing things, or …

Cindy Geyer of the True Health Initiative, the link between stress and depression is a strong one.[9] Some studies show that stress can suppress the growth of new neurons in the hippocampus, which is linked to depression. Stress causes inflammation in the body--also linked with depression. Reducing and improving …

Where would I go? I'd have to climb all over everybody again. Looking at responses from more than 62,000 people, the researchers found that in individualist cultures, emotions were significant predictors of life satisfaction. In collectivist nations, normative beliefs were equally as strong as emotions in predicting life satisfaction--for …

I am positive. We tend to feel overloaded and overwhelmed. We tend to get distracted and not accomplish the things we need to. Simplifying and organizing are ways to deal with these problems, or even better, to avoid them. Focusing on doing one thing and forgetting about the rest simplifies …

With training and attention, it is possible to become more objectively aware of your thoughts. Learning about your own thought patterns can help you feel more in control of your life. It gives you the ability to lean towards thoughts that are helpful, and move away from thoughts that are …

To survive, we need other living beings, beings who are bound to be different from us. That is simply the way things are. Because of the differences we have, the practice of loving friendliness is absolutely necessary. It is what ties all of us together. Lemon balm has long been …

Do you absolutely have to share crude and tasteless humor and jokes on your newsfeed? Do you absolutely have to rant, rave, complain, and vent to your social media "friends"? Do you absolutely have put others down because of their political affiliations? Do you absolutely have to share your negative …

What are the skills tied to self-compassion? One is the skill of tuning in to yourself, checking how you're feeling physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And then allowing that information to matter--because you matter. You worked on this in a fun way when we talked about challenging your shaming voice …

If a manuscript is rejected for publication, researchers think it's due to the arbitrary selection of a particularly critical reviewer, as opposed to the quality of what they wrote. You can use a watch to time your session, but don't peek at it every two minutes to see how you …

You may spend kind money: think about where and for whom an additional ten pounds may bring most happiness. You may show healthy kindness: do a run for a good cause. Offer someone a night of freedom by helping them out with babysitting or by cooking meals they can put …

If you are using your coping strategies your anxiety is likely to abate and once it has reduced to, say, a three, you can choose something a little more difficult from the list you have drawn up. Michelle practised this exercise for two days, three times a day until her …

You pace yourself with a realistic number of activities that you can accomplish. These include your responsibilities and obligations, pleasurable and positive experiences, and mastery experiences (see chapter 4). You understand that it is not helpful for you to stay in bed or on the couch all day, with endless …

The act of making the lists is a helpful organizing activity. It's helpful to break tasks into small steps, and then a step can be one of the list of five. Sometimes, serious injuries hurt very little; other times, very small injuries hurt a lot! The brain determines how much …

Hopefully, at this point, you are experiencing a reduction in your depressive symptoms. If so, you will remain at this dosage. If not, another increase may be recommended to find your optimal dosage. As described earlier, many children and adults may not find relief after a prolonged period of taking …

One of the largest professional groups that attempt to forecast the future are investment advisers. There are about two hundred thousand investment advisers, and nearly half are stockbrokers. Most all of them are involved in the $71 billion industry that attempts to predict the future movements of investments.16 Stock …

Skip any that feel irrelevant. Once a diagnosis is made, the next step is to consider intervention for your depression. In chapter 3, I cover everything you need to know about traditional, alternative, and experimental treatments. Now that you have an understanding of depression, it's time to explore treatments for …

Here are healthy ways to go about relaxing. Relaxation is the experience of LP, low arousal with a positive valence. It's when you feel peaceful, safe, and content. Your heart rate, breathing, and thinking all slow down. Allowing yourself time to relax might feel like a guilty pleasure and is …

How does it work then? I'm sure you've heard the age old adage, "Walk a mile in someone else's shoes". Part of a successful interaction with a new friend is to do this on a repeated basis. It can be mentally exhausting at first as you consciously look inside yourself …

Another time in college I had only one more final to go, and I was totally worn out. I needed some help. So I got an amphetamine pill to help me stay up all night and study. I didn't know then that I had ADD or that amphetamines are supposed …

There is an amusing passage by the British novelist Kingsley Amis on this subject. Amis was writing at the time about his strategies for recovering from a hangover, after a binge of nighttime drinking, but if you replace the word "hangover" in this passage with "panic attack," it reveals a …

However, true experiments are difficult to perform on this issue because you can't force a random sample of people to smoke or stop smoking. As a consequence, researchers had to analyze the incidence of illness in smokers and nonsmokers. But any observed differences in one study could have been the …

The state bureau that issued his medical license first tried to persuade him to enter treatment. Many states have "impaired physician (and nurse)" programs, where doctors and nurses are identified and offered a plan in which a medical license may initially be suspended but restored when it is safe to …