Understanding our false self

Our close relatives, the chimpanzees, use an intermediate form of bipedalism, where they walk using a combination of their hands and feet. This adaption is known as `knucklewalking', and it is not an especially efficient way of getting around.5 Many birds also walk on land on two legs - but …

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Expressing an opinion

Wrong! In fact, achievement perfectionists are likely to be in a state of constant anxiety, whether or not they are producing good prose. They never know when the productivity might come to a screeching halt. If Julia has been mean or disrespectful in the past, it may very well be …

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How you cope with emotions makes a difference

We need to receive positive reinforcement for accomplishing things, even if we have to give it to ourselves, which is often the case. We're not good at rewarding ourselves and we need to intentionally practice. We can set up rewards as a motivating factor for a specific task. Just the …

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How to deal with shame and humiliation

It could be when there's a large gap in your schedule, it's a particular time of day, or you're doing a certain activity. Notice what causes a poor mood, the moments when you get trapped in TRAPs, and the times that you forget to plan. Because Sheila knows that her …

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Coping with high-intensity triggers

We've discussed the hurdles you might encounter. Now you'll be reassessing the beliefs and rules that have protected you and have been your reality. Changing that now can feel risky and even frightening. Your mind may go blank when you try to come up with ideas. I want to start …

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What can i do about this?

Now! Right now I'm thinking about it, it's on my mind. "Now" will get it done; it won't be hanging over my head and cluttering up my mind any more. I noticed that often I would think about something - "Oh, I need to do that. I will get to it …

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What activities do i want to see myself do more often?

In your life right now, there may be lots of people who believe in and encourage you. Your "supporting cast" may number in the hundreds, yet I'd be willing to bet that if you have even one or two critics--one or two naysayers--those "noisy" few can command your full attention …

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Why do i get panic attacks?

Owning up to them can be challenging, so be gentle as well as honest with yourself. See what insights you gain. You will likely start to notice patterns: Maybe there is a particular time of day when you are vulnerable to sneaking in a bite. Perhaps when you're stressed you …

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Training yourself to focus on just one task

I learned something else interesting from my brother when I was talking to him and seeking his thoughts, opinion, and advice on a situation that was making me "frustrated", "irritated", and "angry". He cut me off and said, "Well, Marc, that's where I think you're making a mistake. You're letting …

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Overloaded and overwhelmed

Suppose for a moment that we changed tasks because our second task was indeed more important than the original task we were working on. All we'd need to do then would be to act on the second task until its completion, and then return to our original task. However, that's …

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You're either the hunter or the prey

Unfortunately, this digital debris costs us time, degrades performance, and kills concentration. Unsurprisingly, our brains have a tougher time finding things when they are positioned in a disorganized manner, which means every errant icon, open tab, or unnecessary bookmark serves as a nagging reminder of things left undone or unexplored …

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How to live under pressure

Cindy Geyer of the True Health Initiative, the link between stress and depression is a strong one.[9] Some studies show that stress can suppress the growth of new neurons in the hippocampus, which is linked to depression. Stress causes inflammation in the body--also linked with depression. Reducing and improving …

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Understanding procrastination

Where would I go? I'd have to climb all over everybody again. Looking at responses from more than 62,000 people, the researchers found that in individualist cultures, emotions were significant predictors of life satisfaction. In collectivist nations, normative beliefs were equally as strong as emotions in predicting life satisfaction--for …

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Difficulty accomplishing daily tasks

I am positive. We tend to feel overloaded and overwhelmed. We tend to get distracted and not accomplish the things we need to. Simplifying and organizing are ways to deal with these problems, or even better, to avoid them. Focusing on doing one thing and forgetting about the rest simplifies …

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How the strong people think

To survive, we need other living beings, beings who are bound to be different from us. That is simply the way things are. Because of the differences we have, the practice of loving friendliness is absolutely necessary. It is what ties all of us together. Lemon balm has long been …

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Dealing with stress

Do you absolutely have to share crude and tasteless humor and jokes on your newsfeed? Do you absolutely have to rant, rave, complain, and vent to your social media "friends"? Do you absolutely have put others down because of their political affiliations? Do you absolutely have to share your negative …

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Create a fake sun

What are the skills tied to self-compassion? One is the skill of tuning in to yourself, checking how you're feeling physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And then allowing that information to matter--because you matter. You worked on this in a fun way when we talked about challenging your shaming voice …

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Goal keeping and strength development

If a manuscript is rejected for publication, researchers think it's due to the arbitrary selection of a particularly critical reviewer, as opposed to the quality of what they wrote. You can use a watch to time your session, but don't peek at it every two minutes to see how you …

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What can i do about sleep problems?

You may spend kind money: think about where and for whom an additional ten pounds may bring most happiness. You may show healthy kindness: do a run for a good cause. Offer someone a night of freedom by helping them out with babysitting or by cooking meals they can put …

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Who is most likely to develop depression?

If you are using your coping strategies your anxiety is likely to abate and once it has reduced to, say, a three, you can choose something a little more difficult from the list you have drawn up. Michelle practised this exercise for two days, three times a day until her …

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You're either have the power or you're losing it

You pace yourself with a realistic number of activities that you can accomplish. These include your responsibilities and obligations, pleasurable and positive experiences, and mastery experiences (see chapter 4). You understand that it is not helpful for you to stay in bed or on the couch all day, with endless …

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How to control your emotions

Hopefully, at this point, you are experiencing a reduction in your depressive symptoms. If so, you will remain at this dosage. If not, another increase may be recommended to find your optimal dosage. As described earlier, many children and adults may not find relief after a prolonged period of taking …

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The generosity of spirit

One of the largest professional groups that attempt to forecast the future are investment advisers. There are about two hundred thousand investment advisers, and nearly half are stockbrokers. Most all of them are involved in the $71 billion industry that attempts to predict the future movements of investments.16 Stock …

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Are my thoughts real?

Skip any that feel irrelevant. Once a diagnosis is made, the next step is to consider intervention for your depression. In chapter 3, I cover everything you need to know about traditional, alternative, and experimental treatments. Now that you have an understanding of depression, it's time to explore treatments for …

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Discounting the positive

Here are healthy ways to go about relaxing. Relaxation is the experience of LP, low arousal with a positive valence. It's when you feel peaceful, safe, and content. Your heart rate, breathing, and thinking all slow down. Allowing yourself time to relax might feel like a guilty pleasure and is …

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People will laugh at me

Another time in college I had only one more final to go, and I was totally worn out. I needed some help. So I got an amphetamine pill to help me stay up all night and study. I didn't know then that I had ADD or that amphetamines are supposed …

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Habitual procrastinators tend to float through life

There is an amusing passage by the British novelist Kingsley Amis on this subject. Amis was writing at the time about his strategies for recovering from a hangover, after a binge of nighttime drinking, but if you replace the word "hangover" in this passage with "panic attack," it reveals a …

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Willingly admit your mistakes

However, true experiments are difficult to perform on this issue because you can't force a random sample of people to smoke or stop smoking. As a consequence, researchers had to analyze the incidence of illness in smokers and nonsmokers. But any observed differences in one study could have been the …

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Overcoming habitual procrastination

The state bureau that issued his medical license first tried to persuade him to enter treatment. Many states have "impaired physician (and nurse)" programs, where doctors and nurses are identified and offered a plan in which a medical license may initially be suspended but restored when it is safe to …

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Move a muscle, change a thought

It's done. Don't feel one way or the other about the future. See it as, "I'm busy dealing with today and I'll deal with the future when it gets here. I won't waste my time worrying about it." Try to avoid fast food' as it usually contains more fat and …

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