This is too big to keep to yourself

The root issue was still there, unaddressed. I still felt uncomfortable in my body based on my nervous system's reaction. The other tricky thing about talk therapy is that, by nature, it requires you to keep telling your story over and over and over. This is an example of time …

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Four Corners of Productivity

Once he even went so far as to remove the light bulb in the basement. Nearly immediately after he would say those hurtful things, he would forget what he had said--even though the boys' feelings would be hurt for hours. This propensity to use words to completely demoralize an opponent …

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Love is actually scary

Again, Pride and Prejudice offers the best lessons in the world on the importance of nunchi when seeking a potential mate. After all, both pride and prejudice are inhibitors to judgment. The pride of the title refers to the initial snobbery of Mr Darcy, who deems the Bennet family to …

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Creating Space and Calm

Approach the loudest person. Approach the person surrounded by the most people. Correct answer: trick question. All the answers are wrong, as you do not have nearly enough information. In the absence of context, all five answers represent unfounded assumptions about who the decision maker is, and are not nunchi-based …

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The Villagers

This parable demonstrates that the light is always more powerful than the darkness. Light has substance and presence; What is not, cannot be more powerful than what is. We must devour the ghosts and demons that have haunted us. I refer not to the spooks that stalk our physical houses …

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On Finding Your Passion

He didn't appear to understand. That is to say, the practitioner could be ready and skilled to deliver psychosocially competent care, but the delivery system would not be ready to provide the incentives to support such care--indeed, the system may even offer active disincentives. Increasingly, as Helen McNaughton reports in …

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Love is supposed to be confusing

It really is absurd. Similarly, patience can help your clients move beyond their own immediate desires, and instead, carefully consider and wait for a desired outcome. Virtues can also provide meaning by serving a motivational function. They can orient your clients' lives around an intention or purpose. A prime example …

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The Alchemy of Gender

I felt a desperate desire to save him--a danger sign in therapy. I could affirm his suffering but not his fierce self-punishment, which I insisted had to cease. Near the end of the year, I realized he was having difficulty telling me that he had begun again to exact his …

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While They Were Sleeping

As Penny was getting older, she was competing with younger women for roles and felt that larger breasts might give her an edge, so she started saving money to get a breast enlargement. She saw a recommended doctor, and the first thing he did was give her a breast exam …

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Stop whining

It made him realize that he was still engaged in negative thinking--this discovery was one of the many gifts the relationship gave him. He got to see things differently and shine a light on some of his issues. His partner's response was a reflection not of the wound, but of …

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On Over-thinking

Ads that said, You could be enough, if only you could be seen driving this kind of car, wearing these kinds of clothes, living in this kind of house, hanging out with these kinds of people. If only you belonged. It took me a long time to realize that I …

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Connecting With Others

A man needs a castle like he needs meaning and purpose. He can live without each, but to give some proof that he's here for a reason - and proof to himself, not anyone else - some kind of responsibility over others is a must. Finances are a simple way to measure …

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Know Your Style

The baby picks up on this disconnection and learns not to expect too much from the mother in terms of emotional connectedness. She may even begin to mirror the mother's behavior. As an adult, however, she is likely to continue to search for that connection with a mother figure. At …

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Inner Work = Outer Change

I was about to receive magic for Christmas, and I never saw it coming. The year I turned nine also happened to be the year I was obsessed with baseball. Not because I was good at it by any stretch, but I had found an old glove in one of …

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The courage to have an open mind

People vary in the resources available to them to resist or rework the cultural meanings of illness. Those meanings present a problem to patient, family, and practitioner every bit as difficult as the lesion itself. A final aspect of this type of illness meaning deserves mention. The cultural meanings of …

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Afraid of not being able to pay my bills

It means that our thinking shapes our experience of the loss. She continued, David, since you say we each experience grief differently, let's explore why. I told Louise about my friend whose husband had died suddenly from a brain bleed. But Louise surprised me when she didn't ask about the …

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What is stopping you from asking?

Whenever you are dazzled, grabbed, arrested, compelled, wandering, lost, late, or blind to your own reason, you can suspect that an archetype is present and has something important to tell you. It is imperative that you slow down, breathe, recognize its presence, and listen carefully. Recognizing Their Presence Perhaps your …

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My feelings are considered by others

This led to the next step in my healing process. It is difficult to tell someone that God loves them if you don't believe it yourself. Wanting to believe in what I told these women, I found myself thrown back in front of God's mirror of truth. I knew that …

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What if robots had feelings?

Considered together with additional evidence linking imbalances in the gut to memory and cognitive impairments, this research holds fascinating promise for better understanding and treating many neurological diseases--including multiple sclerosis. Research has shown that fully one-third of the molecules in our bloodstream comprise the breakdown products of our own gut …

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Harmful Messages and Pressures to Forgive

Like a merry-go-round needs just the right center point to spin around effectively--bringing joy and laughter to everyone who rides it--life does, too. Life needs God at the center. What I didn't realize was that when I made myself the center, life lost its balance, spun wildly out of control …

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Succeed To Make Your Dreams Come True

This is awareness, and every moment of awareness is a moment of being alive and healing. However, beware of people who constantly use the phrase I did the best I could as an excuse not to be responsible for their actions and who make no effort to be mindful and …

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The shame of wanting to be loved

There is comfort in knowing that when we are hungry, wherever we may be, we have something uniquely delicious prepared just for us waiting and ready in our cooler or the company fridge or wherever. It gives us roots of sorts in our day, and anchors us in healthy goodness …

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Working with you and for you

We don't carry snacks or water, don't plan lunch, and cavalierly figure that we will simply grab something when we get hungry. But what if we're not close to anything healthy when we get hungry? Each neuron has an axon, a long, rope-like structure that sends electrical signals from the …

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Getting Outside

Our strong desire and physical urge is to return to the equilibrium that we know. If we are in the habit of treating ourselves to a handful of cookies every night after dinner, there is a vacancy in our world--an electrical socket that has been unplugged. The core tenet of …

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Happiness frightens me

If we get acid indigestion every time after we eat pizza, then it's probably safe to say that pizza causes this effect on our system. Or if a basket of chips and salsa make us feel greasy, then that's the effect of chips and salsa. COURAGE: LET ME COUNT THE …

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Mastering the way you help is not an accident

Prebiotics are often overlooked but are necessary for probiotics to work. There is lots of evidence around both prebiotic and probiotic use in improving gut microbiome and this is having a positive impact on digestion, inflammatory bowel disease and immune health in athletes, but with regard to brain function it …

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I am perfect the way I am

They had, as you might imagine, a huge tolerance for differences. The following summer I worked in a camp with regular kids and watched girls of the same age make themselves miserable for some failure they felt regarding their size or skin or hair, or lack of athleticism in some …

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How To Succeed And Influence People

Later, she said that she probably would have won the race if she simply decided to walk instead of run. So for the last fifty yards, she continued to fall, rise, step, and fall, over and over again. If the body is stuck in preparation mode, the mind believes that …

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