You go on by being generous

The secret of that final dying word, 'Rosebud', remains undiscovered by the reporter. When his estate is being sold, some items are discarded and destroyed. As the heat disintegrates the aged layers of dust, dirt and paint the word 'Rosebud', the name of his childhood sled, is revealed to the …

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Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road

If we look out for the dictionary meaning of the word consistent, it says, The ability to remain the same in behaviors, attitude, or qualities. or acting or done in the same way over time, especially so as to be fair or accurate. If we talk in simple terms, we …

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I want you to find your own magic within

Developing boundaries means knowing your physical and psychological comfort zone--your safety zone--and knowing what you like and don't like. It is having a sense of your own self, separate from others. It defines you as a separate human being, not someone else's possession. Your ability to protect yourself psychologically and …

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Acting Like a Stoic

Do you see the value of it for your partner? What Do You Tell Your Children? My kids are asking: Did I do something wrong? Do you still love each other? What's wrong with Dad? Talking with your children about sexually addictive behavior is undoubtedly a situation that no parent …

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How The Universe Orchestrates Your Dreams

That creates an acute heart attack and often results in death or heart failure. These are the heart attacks where patients are rushed urgently into our procedure labs and need to have a blood vessel opened quickly, usually with a stent. The late actors James Gandolfini and Carrie Fisher died …

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Information is volunteered

Do I have trouble falling asleep at night because my mind is always moving? A Juggling Act BALANCE, INTERNAL STABILITY, AND HOMEOSTASIS Homeostasis: The tendency of the body to create internal stability and equilibrium, despite stressors. It is the body's need to have balance. Homeostasis is the concept that our …

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Choosing the Outcome

A natural consequence of being raised in a shame-based family, very often an abusive or addictive family, is that the child grows up to be an ideal partner for an addict, one whose trauma and childhood survivor traits enable him to act out his addiction with little disruption. I look …

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Expectations

After all, big men are not supposed to be depressed. Addictive behavior--whether it's satiation, arousal, or fantasy--can be a cover to depression. In our society, it is far more acceptable for a man to get treatment for addiction than to be diagnosed with and treated for depression. It is considered …

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You are the captain

Over half the population is not engaged in their workplace and, furthermore, over half of Americans can't cover a surprise $500 expense. The life expectancy of Americans has declined for three years in a row and drug use has increased to an unprecedented level. Half of all marriages end in …

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Yes, I do hate this moment

But don't act out your rage toward anyone, including yourself. You deserve better than to act on it and then endure the consequences. SIDEWAYS ANGER Often anger becomes sideways or passive-aggressive. Sideways anger occurs when you act it out and then deny it, or you act out in revenge and …

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Low energy and easily fatigued/unmotivated

You may think of acts of war or terrorism or shootings in your community. You may think of a natural disaster such as floods, hurricanes, fires, and tornadoes that occur throughout the year. Yet the majority of people who experience a trauma are more apt to experience something more chronic …

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Common Questions About Anger

I remember telling myself he was there for the kids, at their events. But looking back now, that wasn't true. I often had this strange feeling. It was like this little voice in my head, and then I would tell myself more loudly, He is a good guy. I am …

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How much do you appreciate your strengths?

Take a deep, slow breath in from your diaphragm, which means your belly should expand more than your chest. Then take even more time on the exhale, letting yourself deflate like a balloon, as my friend, colleague, and breathing guru Wim Hof says. Take at least fifteen breaths like this …

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All the great things that your body can be!

It's not just the use of wearables in people's private lives that faces scrutiny. An increasing number of companies are encouraging their employees to use a device at work and outside it as part of their corporate wellness initiatives. This is a big win for fitness device manufacturers, one of …

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How Can Anger Affect Your Life?

And how can it help those struggling with depression, anxiety, substance abuse, an eating disorder, or any other type of mental-health issue stay on track? Merriam-Webster defines literacy as the ability to read and write and as having knowledge or competence--the traditional definition of literacy as applied to the printed …

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That's how we learn and how we give back

We may think of emotions as falling primarily into two groups -- the unpleasant and/or excited feelings, and the calm and/or satisfied emotions. The first group tends to accompany the seeking effort of the organism, and the second to accompany satisfaction of the need, the consummatory experience. The first …

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Hear yourself

The simplest answer seems to be the requirement of a background of conventional training in the whole field of psychology. That this is a necessary prerequisite to therapeutic training is disproved by the facts. Many psychiatrists become good therapists with almost no background in the general field of psychology. In …

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Focus and Technology

In my youth, I committed (drug-related) crimes equivalent to those committed by the majority of people in prison today. I wasn't criminalized or punished. I was supported. In this man's face, I could see the stark injustice of one American losing decades of his life for stuff that I, another …

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What Do Your Kids Need from You ?

I'm not sure I understand what -- Bill: That much of the operation of women in these social groups is not a function of choice on their part. It's not satisfying their personal needs. It is a function of the role that society kinda forces them into. Please show yourself some …

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On Creativity

It represents primarily a conflict over my desire for independence and my need for dependence, emotional support, approval, and acceptance. The conflict has come into prominence outstandingly in my marriage -- my husband in many respects has much the same problem as I do. He needs dependence, but he has developed …

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Understanding How Other People Think

The telltale emotions that signal you may have fallen into an externalizing trap are anger and frustration. The next time you feel angry and frustrated when confronted with a stressful situation, say the following to yourself: Okay, I am blaming other people or circumstances for this problem right now, and …

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You don't have to maintain an impeccable credit score

Studies of outcomes are also hindered by the questionable validity of existing children's personality tests. One approach to the problem of evaluation which has not yet been tried is the Vineland Social Maturity Scale (50). This might be employed in an interview with mothers before and after their children's therapy …

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Let me help you

I asked myself, Why did I want to go with them? Was it because Michael was going? Did I want Ann just because he had her? I told you she said I was a brat, so you know that, don't you? They also know that I have to push myself …

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Love will actually answer my prayers

As a matter of fact, these perceptions begin to build right from your childhood. Recent experiences may also impact your immediate sense of self, but such impacts usually give way to the dominant overall feeling and perceptions you have about your self-worth. Keep in mind that the factors I discuss …

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Of not enjoying life

Mind/Body Techniques When we were in medical school, we were told treatments for certain illnesses were lifestyle changes. Those changes were usually summed up as eating a good diet, exercising, and reducing stress. Ask most physicians, and they can't explain what lifestyle changes truly means because, the truth is …

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