Guide Your Success Instincts

? Brad knew exactly what kind of mood he was hurling that turd into. And even though it made him look mean, and stirred all kinds of self-pitying, he was willing to hurt himself to upset Joe. But was Joe hurt? Maybe he would have been a year ago, when Brad …

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Create Activity Momentum

As decades have passed, I have seen time and again how even a little of this consciousness, presence and wisdom is utterly transformative. Everything you think and feel about them is probably awfully similar to what they think and feel about you. So, go ahead and say hello. You're also …

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An unconscious loyalty toward your parents

To do this, picture yourself in the situation, observe yourself there, see what you are wearing and how you are standing or sitting. Then slowly think through what you are doing and saying, what you are thinking and feeling, what skills and qualities you have, what is important to you …

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Rose-colored glasses are used in hindsight

It was an uphill climb for me. I was a closeted gay boy in a time before gay liberation. I was a scholarship student. I was from an unsophisticated Ohio family and way out of my depth in this most sophisticated of schools. I was, in truth, a hayseed. I …

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What are your approval-seeking ways?

Most importantly, as I have said, we have had the experience of feeling safely held and soothed, and feeling felt. We have laid the groundwork for some new magic. Then, with the best friend--with Seth--comes something new: Not only do I feel felt by Seth, but I feel him. And …

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A daily practice to change your life

They have experienced very little apparent logic or consistency in their wee emotional lives. In the literature, we are told that these children have been observed turning in circles, approaching and then avoiding the parent, or entering a trance-like state of `freezing' or stillness. The disorganized child, in the most …

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Conscious breathing

This form of attachment is not a good outcome for any child. Here, the parents are emotionally unavailable, imperceptive, and unresponsive. They are distant, and we are told by students of attachment theory that they manifest neglecting or outright rejecting behaviors. Most crucially: they are insensitive to the child's state …

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Revealing your blind side

How did you react? Did you avoid, accommodate, compete, compromise or collaborate? Was this effective? What might have been a more effective strategy for managing the conflict? Many situations in life are stressful for most of us, irrespective of our style. But you take something away from the last stage …

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Installing a cooling system

'19 They also recommend several key staples of good fitness, including moderate-to-vigorous cardiovascular/aerobic exercise, stretching and flexibility exercises, and even the development and maintenance of total body strength across a life span (though the overall emphasis still seems to be on cardiovascular health). According to Todd Miller, an associate …

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Go for good enough

First, if you eat infrequently, as shown in the top diagram above, your body slows down fat burning while ramping up fat storage. Similar problems occur when you eat foods that turn off the metabolic thermostat. Essentially, your body begins to sense that you are starving (for lack of nutrients …

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Personal and professional training

In each of these instances, your fear-threat system -- the part of your brain that is supposed to help you respond to imminent threats to your health and safety -- is actually being hijacked by something that may be concerning but is certainly not an imminent threat. What difference does this make …

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Challenge your thinking patterns

One of her strongest memories from childhood was of being told, over and over, "You can do better than this!" And she could have done better, if she hadn't had ADD. But whatever she did was never good enough. She has a severe problem finishing things and with organizing. Wilton …

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Can i really change this?

The people in one group were asked to sit or stand in `power poses'. Some were seated at desks, asked to put their feet up on the table, look straight ahead and interlock their hands behind the back of their heads. Others stood straight, feet apart, head up and hands …

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Understand that there will be consequences for your inaction

There is a great deal of false information circulating out there about natural supplements, and this is not a well-regulated area of the health marketplace.) However, the psychotropic medications used to treat anxiety often have side effects. Some of them can also be habit-forming (another way of saying they can …

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How does pain work?

Since the relationship between depression and substance abuse can often be very complicated, it is essential that people dealing with both depression and substance abuse seek medical help as soon as possible. Only a qualified health professional can make a proper diagnosis, especially for those patients dealing with more than …

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It's not the right time

If my short term goals don't seem to lead towards my long term goals, or if what I am doing now doesn't fit in with my goals, then I need to rethink. I keep the yellow pad with my long term goals on it on my desk and review it …

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Move towards the things that matter

Remember, you're not trying to eliminate your tasks, but to develop the willingness to simply reduce the number of tasks that await you. Numerous research studies have consistently shown that well over 90 percent of all people who committed suicide or attempted it were suffering from some form of mental …

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Do i have time to do what i would like to?

During this stage you become aware of what is happening but seem unable to do anything about it. This is the awareness stage: for example, realizing the ways in which you make yourself feel anxious by seeing everything in all-or-nothing terms but not being able to stop. You now have …

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Procrastination and depression

Stop allowing things to get in your way. Stop allowing people and things to make your job harder. Do what's necessary to make absolutely sure the path to your goals and getting your act together is clear and free of distraction. Then, keep it that way. We're spending time on …

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How to manage setbacks

This sensual love building trigger is one of the most powerful exercises of all because it allows you to form a deep emotional connection-- simply by communicating how you feel with one, simple question. "What can I do for you?" It may be that your partner wants to cuddle on …

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Stop apologizing

When you engage in these activities, your brain associates your bed with wakefulness. Just as regular, relaxing bedtime routines can help your brain and body know when it's time for sleep, your bed itself is another important trigger. By helping your brain associate your bed with sleep, the transition into …

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Cherish every moment of your life

What happened to me reinforced another important lesson that I had forgotten (I don't always learn on the first try): Always check with healthcare professionals before starting any new diet, cleansing, or exercise program. Wow, what a sobering experience that was for me. My cardiologist also suggested that I look …

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Procrastinating and avoiding

Back then there was no SBIRT, screening for problem drinking and drug use, especially in adolescents, so that early intervention might be possible. Back then there was no MAT, medication-assisted treatment; he would have been a candidate for long-acting naltrexone (Vivitrol) had it existed. He had the support of his …

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Knowing when to end the conversation

You may rise above the mud far enough to breathe a bit more easily if you practice vipassana meditation with diligence. Vipassana meditation is the road to nibbana. And from the reports of those who have toiled their way to that lofty goal, it is well worth every effort involved …

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Bad is stronger than good

Depression infects the clarity of your mind like a virus attacks the body. It weakens your defenses, cripples your resolve, and leaves you vulnerable to corrosive thoughts. It's no wonder that people who've survived a suicide attempt marvel at their own distorted thinking. Thank god I didn't go through with …

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Is an activity worth the effort?

As I said earlier, you could say with confidence that you were not a thief: That was a concrete distinction, no problem, no confusion, you have objective, credible data to rely on. But now, when labeled as "hopeless" or "loser" or "ugly," someone is attacking your worth. Who are you …

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Creativity and follow through

You have no need to look down at others and feel "better" than them. You have no need to think certain people don't deserve to be treated the way you'd like to be treated. You have no need to EVER disrespect anyone - even if they're disrespecting you. It's the same …

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Freedom beats money

And if it's not interesting, don't put yourself down - tell a story that illustrates the diversity of your job. Every position can be described this way if you know how to go about it. Ask Educated Questions - Get in there and ask questions about the people you meet, but make …

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Say more without speaking

Of course, there are exceptions, but as Burton Malkiel notes, there is no scientific evidence to indicate that the performance of professionally managed portfolios, as a group, is any better than a randomly selected group of stocks.27 What about those few individuals who have attained considerable fame for predicting …

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Setting a consequence

At that moment, I understood the reason behind the trials and tribulations I had endured in my past. I began to understand the divine reason for my life's journey: Its purpose was to make a difference in the world. Just knowing this valuable information closed those mental prison doors behind …

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Look for the positive

In fact, one procrastinator said he felt as if he were wearing a large "kick me" sign on his back. Let's imagine for a moment that you were a visitor from another planet who came down to Earth with orders to observe the behavior of Earthlings who habitually refuse to …

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When dreams come crashing down

Thirty-nine states, including my own state of New York, have adopted PDMPs. The data collected can help states to fashion targeted education programs as well as to identify and intervene with doctors whose prescribing patterns suggest that they are "pill mills," conveying to too many patients, collectively, massive doses of …

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Impulsive, impatient, and irritable

Epitomizing this shift, in 1903, Dr. George Pettey, an addiction specialist, vocalized a growing opinion about the depravity of addiction, calling it "another curse." A series of federal regulations, beginning with the Pure Food and Drug Act of 1906, were bellwethers for the changing national outlook on drugs and drug …

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Personal affirmations

When you have a plan in place, you will be able to survive and thrive in spite of the added tension. Many people turn to unhealthy behaviors to cope with or escape their stress, such as drinking too much alcohol, self-medicating on drugs, and overeating. But when you change the …

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