Follow the rules of friendship

It's worth remembering that virtually all of the phenomena that paranormal researchers point to as evidence of supernatural or mystical occurrences can be replicated by magicians, most of whom readily admit they're illusionists and they're performing a trick. Doesn't that tell us something? And so, I have a little gremlin …

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Feeling unsure about what the future will bring

For example, you value family but currently are not able to see them as much as you would like. If you keep avoiding activities because they might be painful, you never have the chance to see how your body is changing. You are not able to learn when the activity …

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Being in control of your own actions

After analyzing a recent series of experiments that were said to have found evidence of ESP, she stated, "These experiments, which looked so beautifully designed in print, were in fact open to fraud or error in several ways...the results could not be relied upon as evidence for psi."41 …

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Humour and likability

Finally, care about what people have to say. I don't mean "appear to care" about what they have to say, I mean literally care. This is the hardest step in the process because sometimes we just don't care. It sounds callous, but it's true. Someone else's problems are just that …

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When do emotions cause problems?

Not only are depressed people plagued with self-doubts but their self-esteem plummets as well. Hold onto hope and accept that what you're going through will pass eventually. And finally, and most importantly, seek help immediately if you are feeling suicidal or have difficulty controlling thoughts of self-harm. Continue taking care …

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How to develop emotional intelligense

So, for psychotherapy to be a successful, you have to crave change, possess a curiosity of your inner world and an interest in understanding what motivates you, and tolerate a moderate degree of frustration. This is where the myth that only crazy people--or weak-minded individuals--go to therapy gets the boot …

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How effectively do you allocate your time?

The study looked at 311 unmarried participants who were separated from their partners by distances ranging from ninety miles to more than 10,000 miles, for periods ranging from about two weeks to more than ten years. Those who used webcams and phone calls--methods most similar to face-to-face communication--were more …

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Active listening

Do not get hung up in the estimate. When your mind is wild and agitated, you can often reestablish mindfulness with a few quick deep breaths. Pull the air in strongly and let it out the same way. This increases the sensation inside the nostrils and makes it easier to …

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Turn something boring into a game

You know a lot more about you and what is likely to be creating problems for you to live the life you want. Having cleared some space, cleared the decks and programmed your sat nav, it is time to move forward in a new direction. One that will allow you …

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I'm not good enough

This does not mean that you are giving up on a great idea. It means that you're not limiting your chance of success by focusing on just one way to accomplish it. Do you see a vision of a new healthier you yet? What do you see? Do you have …

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The therapeutic window

Keep striving. In a lot of cases, the ride to the life you want sucks and it's ugly, but if you don't worry about it and just hold on, you'll make it there. It makes perfect sense that schools use behavior and habit tracking sheets as a learning tool for …

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What are my most vulnerable times or days of the week?

In order to succeed, individuals must be able to recognize their emotions and regulate how they are displayed to others. This idea may sound simple in theory, but it is more challenging in practice. A large part of successful emotional recognition and regulation is the identification of emotions, something with …

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Synchronizing with other people

You are a rock in a stream bed and your thoughts are the current. As they pass over you, they become part of you, but only for a moment. The next moment, they are out of sight, beyond your concern as another one works its way toward you. So what …

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Reward yourself

Once you've taken care of your responsibilities, there's no reason why you shouldn't enjoy yourself. I am in charge of inspiring and empowering my team at work, and I accept the challenge. I need to give myself permission to celebrate my success and embrace the joy. A vacation is not …

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How to get what you want and achieve your goals

In a habitual procrastinator's way of thinking, if the dentist were to make such a detrimental comment, it won't matter as much because chances are, he'll never see that dentist again. Even when depression is properly diagnosed, there are still different diagnoses that can be given depending on how long …

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Filter out the negative

The anecdote may be unique, but the problems it highlights are not. Employees doing their duty and trying to please their managers often feel unable to change the way things function. As a consultant Perlow interviewed said, "Partners like hearing yes,' more than they like hearingno,' and I'm trying …

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How to merit and maintain others' trust

Do the time-consuming prep work on the weekend. While not everyone has time to prep their meals on any given Saturday, what with kids' swim meets, Mommy and Me classes, or orchestra performances, this can also be a great way to teach your little ones their way around the kitchen …

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Those who see why it can be done and those who see why it can't

When deciding whether to believe something, we need to state the belief as clearly and specifically as possible. We can't be ambiguous--ambiguous claims have too many loopholes that can make them essentially untestable. For example, many people hold the superstition that things come in threes--such as deaths of celebrities--but they …

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Developing rapport

It will help you to think of solutions and better yet understand what other people's actions are caused by. Visualize Negative Thoughts Turning into Positive - Here's an activity that works wonders for negative thoughts. When you have a negative though, visualize it in your head and then slowly transition it …

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Avoiding manipulation

Every baseball player practices batting. It's the first thing you learn in Little League, and you never stop practicing. Every World Series game begins with batting practice. Basic skills must always remain sharp. Seated meditation is the arena in which meditators practice their own fundamental skills. The game the meditator …

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Not everyone is out to get you

Unite the mind with this sign that is available in the present moment and let the mind flow with every succeeding moment. As you pay bare attention to it, you will see that the sign itself is changing every moment. Keep your mind with the changing moments. Also, notice that …

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Pursuing happiness can hurt your relationships

Here are some ideas. If you like to speak more than you like to write, you can record the TRAP with your phone. If you're walking and talking in public, to the people around you, you're simply having a phone conversation. If you record your monitoring, I encourage you to …

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Striving to make the other happy while together in company

While early contradictory evidence may blur our understanding, later work often brings the picture into sharper focus. When programs to help disadvantaged children, such as Head Start, were first studied, we saw headlines like "Early Intervention Raises IQs by Thirty Points," along with "Head Start a Failure." What are we …

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How to merit and maintain others' trust

Pay attention to life, and maybe you'll discover and draw inspiration from your childhood experiences. Sometimes it also helps to develop these passions by diving into uncommitted ventures. By uncommitted, I mean activities in a nonprofessional sense. Perhaps you can volunteer or join an organization that will help you nourish …

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Why likability impacts your life so much

You want to get rid of all psychological annoyances to make your life truly peaceful and happy. The mind cannot be purified without seeing things as they really are. "Seeing things as they really are" is such a heavily loaded and ambiguous phrase. Many beginning meditators wonder what we mean …

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Don't expect balance every day

That is a double bad deal. Left is taking you where you don't need to go, but just as importantly, it is also keeping you from going in the right direction. If you travel ten miles left when you should have gone ten miles right, you've made a thirty-mile mistake …

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My outer self is matched by my inner well-being

If you're going to attempt something you failed at before, think about what you learnt from that. A driving test is an obvious example here. Whether it was a mock test or your actual test, if you failed a part of it, then naturally, you'd work on that part before …

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Dumping the unfriendly traits

Maintaining constant connection is like being hooked to an IV delivering a steady drip of mood-altering drugs. The more connected you are, the more attention you steal from other important things in your life, like performing well at work, driving safely, interacting with friends and family, or completing an important …

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The perfect is the enemy of the good

Habitual procrastination causes its sufferers to feel like they're less than other persons, and it makes them feel sad, aimless, and unfulfilled in their lives. They also feel impatient and frustrated much of the time, as though "there isn't enough time" and "they'll never be enough time" to do all …

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When you feel bad, reach out and touch something

TM, or transcendental meditation, best describes this form of meditation in which mantra is often celebrated as a gateway to sublime and natural `out of body' experiences. The philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein wrote, "A depressed man lives in a depressed world." Similarly, the way we view the world is critical to …

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Building your self-esteem and confidence

The good news is that as a result, mindfulness is reaching a broad constituency. The bad news? These applications of mindfulness may well be missing something vital, a connection to its historical roots with the risk of being diluted, open to misinterpretation, or stripped of its ethical foundations. The contemporizing …

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