Letting go of unhelpful perfectionism

A tennis match, a guided tour of a natural park or city, a bike ride or bowling. On average, the most sedentary people make between 2000 and 3000 steps per day. By adding 2000 steps daily, you could manage to maintain your current weight and stop weight gain. Add more …

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Setting a consequence

It's not so difficult, but it is required. It's okay if you're skeptical. Consider opening up your mental door of possibilities. This is your journey into the workings of your inner self. The journey that will enable you to start understanding you and what it takes to make changes that …

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Giving and receiving criticism

Nevertheless, your choice of the first guiding virtue to work on will depend on what type of perfectionist you are. For example, if you are an achievement perfectionist, then adopting and working on unconditional self-acceptance as your guiding virtue can help you overcome the self-destructive tendency to belittle yourself when …

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My own experience with body types

Some of these findings also indicate that volunteers who devote a considerable amount of time to volunteer activities (about 100 hours per year) are most likely to exhibit positive health outcomes. I ran the samples. One day I got a very high number. I thought they'd found a really rich …

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Problem-solving communication

I don't allow myself to put them anywhere else, not "just for now," not "just this time," not "because I'm busy." No. On the front table. I do not leave them in my jacket pocket. I do not lay them on my desk or on the bureau top. I put …

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Apologize effectively

They are the cornerstones of your script of life, creating boundaries and barriers to who you can become and what you do. Remember this: money doesn't necessarily define success. Success can be measured by self-fulfillment, awareness, emotional intelligence, and education. I've always felt that as long as I could support …

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Getting angry has its perks

Another variable is age of onset--the age at which you first experience your depressive symptoms. The earlier the age of onset for unipolar or bipolar depression increases the probability of a return of depressive illness. Severity and length of depression, sometimes called "chronicity," will heighten the odds for relapse and …

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Developing the willingness to change

Reaction formation made her seem overly kindly when on the inside she was boiling with rage. Her perceptions of others were tinged with distrust, a mild form of compromised reality testing that left her bereft and with little hope for a better life. Farther down the gradient are defenses that …

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Do something for someone else

One day, there you were! All of the choosing was done for you. Even as you grew up, you probably didn't have any idea that life offered anything other than what you were living. You simply became part of a long chain, its links consisting of your parents, your grandparents …

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Does optimism pay?

Knowing that we pay more attention to anecdotes, I thought they would be the best way to get the main points across. Of course, the conclusions reached here are backed by rigorous scientific investigation. The problem is, when we rely purely on anecdotal information in our everyday decision making, we …

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Be bold and aware of your thoughts

That's the way I feel when I'm sitting too long, antsy. It is strange that I'm less antsy when we are sitting outside, or in a restaurant, or when we're on vacation. Why? When we're sitting in the house, I feel the office calling me, with all of the things …

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Taking care of your body and mind

There is a definite goal. But there is no timetable. What you are doing is digging your way deeper and deeper through layers of illusion toward realization of the supreme truth of existence. The process itself is fascinating and fulfilling. It can be enjoyed for its own sake. There is …

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Self-talk and self-fulfilling prophecies

They all turned out to be too high, no surprise given what I saw clinically. But his pulse was strong and regular. In a quiet single room surrounded by his family, he took several high doses of Librium and some fluids and began to settle down. I concluded that Tom …

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Mental habitds of success

The more data points you have, the more reliable your observations will be. Engage and code your emotional state. Rinse and repeat. Take note of any observations. If a behavior repeatedly leads to HP or LP states, even for a few seconds or minutes, then you may intuitively decide that …

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Chaos and clutter

Ironically enough, even positive stressful events such as the birth of a new baby or a wedding can have the same effect on the body's cortisol levels. As you can see in the section on postpartum depression, new mothers can be particularly vulnerable to symptoms of depression though, in most …

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Change how you measure success

Not only does being part of a larger movement provide young people with a sense of belonging but the friends they make in these communities can also provide them with emotional support. As we can see, simply being a part of the goth or emo scenes don't necessarily mean that …

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Drop the "not enough time" excuse

Good for you! So take a look at your social connections with friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and groups. Some of these relationships may not qualify as healthy and therefore will not be consistent sources of happiness and fulfillment--in fact, they can significantly detract from your happiness and fulfillment. Healthy relationships …

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Are you critical of other people?

I won't quarrel with that. But the secondary gain of educating the public is far more valuable. One of the greatest ways we make sense of the world is by hearing the stories of others. Through their narratives, we measure and reframe our internal thoughts and feelings, learn that we're …

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Strategies for working with emotional over-control

It is also possible, and in fact not at all uncommon, that a successful person may attribute a great deal of positive characteristics to someone whose influence at the time was entirely negative or destructive, yet the person accommodated or adapted that negative experience in a healthful and positive way …

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Was theactivity consistent with my values?

Its effects have in recent studies been likened to those of smoking and obesity combined. Centenarians living in Blue Zones' around the world, those living happily and healthily into old age, are invariably living in community. <a href='http://major.majz.com/t10-Aim-for-a-voice-and-tone-for-your-website-that-s-conversational-friendly-and-respectful.htm#p12'>(Blue Zones' are areas around …

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Where to find the science

I'm talking about knowing the essentials that will make you an expert on the opposite sex. There are universal rules to becoming likeable to the opposite sex, and once you know what they are you can decode a person's desire right off the bat. To some, it's known as their …

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Sample a complaint sandwich

Sometimes, though, we need an even more explicit way to signal our request for interruption-free time, particularly when we're working from home. Using the same principles to block unwanted external triggers, my wife bought a hard-to-miss headpiece on Amazon for just a few dollars. She calls it the "concentration crown …

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Negative feelings assertion

People with this condition fear being with others and may avoid being around people or being seen eating in public or being in any situation where the person feels he or she is going to be evaluated in any way. Panic disorder is another way of describing a condition where …

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How did i end up this way?

In reality, they had no control over the light since the researchers were dictating whether or not to turn the light on. When asked to rate the level of control they felt they had over the light, the nondepressed subjects overestimated how much control they had, while the depressed students …

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Appreciate your body

It just pops out of the deep mind, and you say, "Ah ha!" and the whole thing is solved. This sort of intuition can only occur when you disengage the logic circuits from the problem and give the deep mind the opportunity to cook up the solution. The conscious mind …

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Will i regret this later?

(The teacher pauses to allow participants time to set up and settle.) Once you have found a position that is comfortable, allowing the eyes to close, or equally softening the gaze, looking down toward the floor in front of you. Have you thought about how to discipline your tongue? The …

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Volunteering to help in time of need

Other addictions play a role in depression as well--some of which are hidden from view, like dependency on prescription painkillers or illicit drugs. Still others fall into the category of "soft addictions," such as overeating, shopping, gambling, television viewing, video game playing, oversleeping, and online connectivity. Depression frequently goes hand …

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Avoid being a perfectionist

Most of us with anxiety or panic find this idea so overwhelming that we will never get started, however. If we do get into a situation in which we need to "face the fear" directly - especially if the experience has been forced on us - we are traumatized by the experience …

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Where there's a will there's a way!

Please keep in mind that it's important to just get some movement into your routine, no matter what type it is. Don't worry if you are not doing the recommended level of activity yet--this can be a long-term goal to work towards slowly. A word here about the risks inherent …

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Living your purpose

In my stairway in Copenhagen, I've just put books on top of the rack of letterboxes. It makes the stairway more homely, it is fun to watch which books get picked up and it encourages interaction between the neighbours. The current collection in my stairway includes titles like A Concise …

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