The courage of heroism in the usual sense

She knew I had been hurt but just couldn't take on the time and emotional work of helping me understand that she needed to prioritize taking care of herself. Her rejection really had nothing to do with me and everything to do with surviving her circumstances. That our friendship has …

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I experience others keeping their word

Raising the minimum wage, for instance, and providing affordable housing and health care. Social tools that build community and address the spiritual void that arises from materialism, like drum circles or community gardens, can also make a difference. When we focus on the financial, mental, emotional, and physical well-being of …

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Peace of mind with family

And because he holds such values, the group-centered leader is more comfortable adopting a role that seems to him consistent with these values. Group-centered leadership has its origins in the application of principles of client-centered psychotherapy to groups and organizations. Consequently, it is to be expected that the group-centered leader …

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I am always on a diet or thinking about dieting

That hybrid identity--both girlboy and neither--was closer to who I was than anything else. For a while, as a kid and a preteen with a body relatively unmarked by visible signs of gender, I could flourish in that liminal space. As I moved into puberty, however, my body started to …

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Choosing the people you see

Your Future Action Plan The more you can arm yourself in advance, the better. It's very useful to identify not only which thinking trap you fall into most but also the situations in which you are most vulnerable to it. Is it when something goes wrong at work, during a …

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How could you let them go?

Supported Bridge Pose Good for: chronic pain, releasing tension This supported back extension helps open the chest for better breathing and relieve the hunched posture that can come from sitting too long. The supportive nature of this exercise comes from the head and neck being lower than the heart, which …

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Limits to Success

The differing approach of Melanie Klein (103) was independently developed at about the same period, and it, too, derived from the fundamental theories of Sigmund Freud. Klein assumed that the child's play activities, including his accompanying verbalizations, were quite as motivationally determined as the free associations of adults. Hence, they …

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Of waking up throughout the night

This whole matter deserves more careful attention. The next painful paragraphs were written later that Friday evening, the day of the fifth interview. I've been wandering around like a ghost all evening, trying to find the answer, telling myself it isn't so, I just can't be as miserable as all …

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Afraid of having too much

Think of your life's anchors: alarm clocks, photos of your friends and loved ones, the look from your wife, etc There are many cases in which we have anchors our lives, yet in our favor, we are still not using these powerful techniques. Imagine the following scene: Guy, in a …

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You are smart

The feeling that a pure mirror image in the counselor is not sufficient for therapeutic movement is worth careful thought. The fascinating description of discovering that the counselor sees one as a separate person may be a unique experience or may be more general. With our present knowledge it is …

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Finders keepers, losers weepers

Happiness Tip # : Be Accountable Take charge of your life. It is more rewarding than simply letting things take their own course. When you feel accountable for your actions, you begin to plan them out better. You are less likely to believe that you can't do anything about your goals and …

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On Goal-Setting

What are some positive points about yourself that you can think about? Imagine someone pointing out your faults. How would you show them that despite your faults, you are an individual with good traits as well? When you start evaluating in such a manner, you might find out that there …

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Taking Control of Your Thoughts

If five minutes feels like too much, see if you can start with three minutes and build from there. Put on some gentle music, something melodic so that you can connect with the sound. Wrap your arms around yourself and hold the safe container of your body. Hang on a …

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Identify conclusions, reasons, and assumptions

In most cases, make sure that you have made your request after lightening up the mood. You will always get that favor after reminding your partner about how good they are. The impression you use determines whether your manipulation techniques will subdue the target. Many traumatized people find that the …

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Mixed Emotions

Exercise: Words to Pictures The next time you read a newspaper, pick five short articles or news summaries and turn the words into pictures using your substitute word, visualization, and imagination memory tools. Exercise: Summarize Time For everything in your diary, ask yourself how it contributed to your process goals …

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In the Moment, I Am Not the Focus

Success in pursuit of long-term goals will happen, by their very nature, over many years. For the sustained effort we will need to do this, it is important not to throw ourselves at them 24/7, even where we may feel a romantic attachment to doing so. We may briefly …

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What if feelings had feelings?

In this instance, you are fronting the target person and initiating the right eye contact and applying the triple nod will help strike a rhythm with the individual. In this instance, you are likely feeling a strong connection, but to realize its full benefit try using the power of imagination …

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Am I very productive?

I am here only to be truly helpful. The key word here is truly. In rendering real service, we seek to do what will actually serve, rather than what will look good, what societal etiquette would dictate, what will make us feel like a good Samaritan, or what we or …

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Does your breathing quicken or slow down?

You are beholding a demonstration that such an event is possible, available, and that you, too, can and will manifest the same experience for yourself. The recipient is a harbinger of similar good on its way to you. Don't shoot the messenger who bears good tidings. Envy is wasted energy …

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Let's test your relationship skills!

Then you have to leave or get rid of them to protect yourself. When someone comes along that you really like and want to continue to associate with, they leave you. While many have made promises to extricate you from the pain and sorrow of Scare City, each pledge has …

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Social Obligations

When we choose love, we bring the world closer to heaven. Fear makes the world hell. The choice is ours. More Love to Life I am fascinated by the ways that ordinary people bring more heart to life. Every encounter is an opportunity to create separation or joining. When we …

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Lessons Learned from Animals

To begin, we will either ask the body deva if there is a myth we should look at, or we may already have one in mind that we wish to work with. As you do, pay attention to your language. For example, instead of writing, I want to run a …

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I am generous with clients

One eight week study at UCLA looked at two groups of HIV patients. You will know that you are successful and masterful in fully utilizing your power when you set intentions for yourself and have absolute conviction you will receive your desires. You know yourself well enough to set intentions …

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I'm calling your parents

You may delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again. That is the stage of the novice. What the master practitioner (and the accomplished family member) has learned is how to improvise from those copies, how to move beyond stereotyping and caricaturing, with all the dangers …

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Brain-Changing Strategies

It gets easier. You form habits intentionally or unintentionally over the span of your life. In other words, you're either in control of forming them or not. It's preferable to be in control of forming your habits, but either way it takes from 60 to 100 days for a habit …

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Don't stop searching

However, for those who do not have people in their life to which they can turn, you can facilitate these experiences in your office by communicating empathy via affirmations, nonverbal mirroring, and appropriate therapist disclosure (without shifting the focus to yourself). Although relationships can be a source of great joy …

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The drug and supplement trap

You feel a boost of energy when you set your intention, and then another boost when those intention waves connect with similar-frequency waves. You are likely already familiar with energy waves that have meaning for you. You have probably felt your emotions stir when listening to your favorite music. Music …

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Declutter Your Life

These are all ways to notice that you are experiencing resistance. Resistance is natural. It is by compassionately and directly inquiring why it is there that we can begin to work with it, instead of battling it and setting up unhelpful polarities that create more resistance. Working with Resistance There …

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On Laughter

When you are at home, you feel relaxed and are not governed by the social rules. However, when you are at a public place you are exposed to various ways of speech adopted by people of different ethnicities. Deep breathing is a major element contributing to correct vocal patterns. You …

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To veil the clear light of the mind's essence

A crystal may also be carried in the hand as a comforting object, or worn on the body, perhaps as a pendant. Since electromagnetic stress draws energy from the body, the properties of clear quartz may have a very positive effect. As a neutral energy supplier, it can strengthen the …

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Feeling Not So Great

Yet, in other cases, the physician diagnoses and treats elevated blood sugar that requires increased insulin, pain of uncertain origin that calls for diagnostic testing, or major depressive disorder that needs treatment with antidepressants. The healer--whether a neurosurgeon or a family doctor, a chiropractor or the latest breed of psychotherapist--interprets …

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