When you're mindful of your thoughts and feelings that are arising, you've created a choice. You don't have to react to your thoughts or do what they tell you to do. This generates a sense of control as you become aware of the choices you have. If, while you're driving …

In some cases, for example, the core has a whole separate house of her own, not just a study in the main house. If a patient already has a safe place, I often suggest that she lift it into the new Safe Place. One patient created a whole amusement park …

Simply plunk down and unwind with some tea or coffee. In the struggle for survival, nearly every form of life has its mimics--right down to some of the most primitive pathogens. By adopting certain critical features of useful hormones or nutrients, these clever bacteria and viruses can gain entry into …

But, these are not your life. Just parts of it. You are an expert on one thing in the Universe. YOU. Who else, after all, could you ask if you want to find out what makes you happy? So what does make you happy? The things that you have come …

You're only human, right? Nonetheless, you still need to give up your musturbatory demand not to be treated badly; otherwise, you won't move forward in dealing with the reality that you were, indeed, treated like that. Of course, there are degrees of bad treatment, and it would be irrational to …

Note that each of these thoughts is a particular type of desolation (to use Saint Ignatius' term), because each one makes it more difficult to draw near to God or to cooperate with his grace. These thoughts make it harder to pursue meaningful, intimate, and virtuous responses to our problems …

The person who catastrophizes lives in a perpetual state of "But what if? What if?" When feelings are not dealt with, they become bottled up and create a blockage, both personally and interpersonally. This, in turn, isolates you from yourself and your world. The fastest and surest way to become …

My first experience with brain freeze was on my first test in college. It was a chemistry test, the first test in my life that I had any doubt about. I wrote my name on the answer sheet, looked at the questions, didn't have a clue, and froze. My brain …

Do you let others know how you are feeling on the inside? Do you ever look for something you have done wrong, thinking that there must be something? If so, give an example. Do you ever feel like you are putting one over on others who are impressed with you …

They come from the third layer of our psychological experience. We recalibrated her thinking away from weight and more around honoring a daily commitment. Each day she would eat according to her food plan. Each day she would practice meditation. Each day she would do physical activity. She would no …

I just finished reading about this guy!" These two men are close in age, good athletes, intelligent, and have frustrated parents who are sometimes critical and tired of supporting them. Both men have difficulty with bosses, with holding a job, and with finding a field that works for them. This …

No matter how simple our tasks may initially appear, many, if not all of our tasks require thoughtful action; and it's for that reason many people find procrastination to be a never-ending burden. I usually had a variety of tasks that I simultaneously procrastinated on. Typically, it wasn't that I …

Become involved in order to show them your winning spirit (you don't just care about your needs being met, but the needs of everyone around you.) If that doesn't get you loyal followers, nothing will! Eyewitness testimony is also powerful because eyewitnesses are often very confident in their identifications. As …

When her friends say, "You look great!", Elisa never knows what to say. She feels hurt and frustrated that they do not see the pain she is in, yet she is tired of explaining how she feels. Also, some of Elisa's friends ask a lot of personal questions about Elisa's …

Treatment often involves making some change in the way you think or behave, and that may be uncomfortable. Changing to something unfamiliar can be both scary and hopeful. It is scary because you are doing something different and perhaps a little uncomfortable, and hopeful because the purpose is to feel …

There is nothing wrong with wanting to do things well or be a good worker, student, parent, partner or friend. Set yourself realistically high but not impossibly perfectionist standards. Remember that everyone is equal, regardless of ability. It is possible for someone to have greater talents or skills than you …

If not, be prepared to move on and spend less time with them. Negativity can be deeply ingrained. Many people get into a vicious cycle of low expectations and low achievement, which begets an inner void. In a sense, there is no bottom to their emptiness, and so trying to …

People are sick, they get the treatment, they get better. And, this happens in thousands of cases. But these are all anecdotal cases, and we must remember that personal experiences can be misleading. What is needed are controlled experiments. So we continue digging through the evidence in search of some …

They are after all working at the extreme. (Is it any wonder the military on long tours find it difficult?) Like being an astronaut on the International Space Station, there is always a way. A small plant is nature after all. Be creative. Look how creative your mind has been …

And I also know that hardening my heart and approaching all relationships with skepticism and distrust is not in my nature, nor do I ever want to live that closed-off kind of life. Additionally, if I hadn't worked on tapping into my deep beauty and inner worth and, most importantly …

We get stuck in the "if only" syndrome. If only I had more money, then I would be happy. If only I could find somebody who really loved me; if only I could lose twenty pounds; if only I had a color TV, a hot tub, and curly hair; and …

We knew we couldn't make it illegal to be either against the [Vietnam] war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities . We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break …

What sets you apart from the rest who don't have their act together is how you handle boring moments. Do they get the best of you and cause you to whine and complain like a little girl or do you hunker down and push through them? Do you handle them …

Are you beginning to see yourself as someone who has the grit to persevere and the hope to keep trying? Brainstorm three ways you can give your time to the people you care about and how that time can be used productively to create closer relationships. Anyone who has experienced …

Well, you have to want change too, and you have to put in effort to make that happen. If you do that, then you can change anything about yourself, and you can effect positive change in other people. When they see how you change, it changes how people perceive you …

This happens to everybody. And there is a simple solution. Put most of your effort into one-pointedness at the beginning. Just keep calling the attention from wandering over and over again. Tough it out. Full instructions on how to do this are in chapters 7 and 8. A couple of …

Because so many drugs can contribute to depression, if you are experiencing symptoms of depression, have a health care professional assess the medications you are taking to see if any might be adding to your struggle. Ask if dosages of suspect drugs can be adjusted, eliminated, or replaced with a …

There will be times when we feel stress. When we struggle and struggle with a prob - that solves it for us, the next thing we do is to stop using that approach. This happens to me. I come up with a good strategy for something and the next thing I …

It's as though you and your thoughts have melded together and become one. For example: think to yourself I am an orange.' When you did this you may have then thoughtI'm an orange ... er ... right ... OK then ...' It's a thought you had, but you didn't automatically believe it. (Did …

By forgiving, you are accepting what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. It may happen quite quickly or it may be a gradual process. You might find it helpful to write an honest, emotional letter telling the other person how hurt and …

Anytime I'm on an airliner, I want my pilot looking at the current situation and making a real-time, informed decision, not picking his course of action on what happened one, two, or five years ago. Bottom line: Whatever the situation in which you find yourself, the appropriate questions are, "Can …

Going to bed and getting up late, not flossing your teeth, not picking up after yourself, playing on your phone, not staying focused, choosing fun over work, spending money on little things you don't need, and choosing to get upset and worried instead of remaining calm are little things adding …

Prices are constant, so a cup of coffee will cost the same in either world. What about you? In which of these worlds would you choose to live? Usually, over 50 per cent of the audience would prefer to live in the first world. This is consistent with academic studies …

As I've suggested, the latest research shows us that what's going on in your gut influences what goes on in your brain--not the other way around. So, if the evidence shows us that the brain is responding to messages sent by the gut, primarily through the vagus nerve, then it …

You're known as a leader. You push yourself to do well. You thrive on projects that need control, order, and predictability. Healthy intimate relationships generally require flexibility, openness, and spontaneity. True connection requires vulnerability. You need to control what others know about you--and that gets in the way of emotional …

Kill the mental chatter the second it starts. Stop the self-pity and self-doubt conversations. Stop the inner-negativity. It's a bad habit. Tell the mental chatter, as Jocko Willink puts it, "I'm busy. Come back later when I'm not!" Stop worrying about what the voices are saying. Stop listening to them …

"The results suggested that suppressing the thought for the first five minutes caused it to `rebound' even more prominently into the participants' minds later," according to an article in Monitor on Psychology. Wegner later dubbed this tendency "ironic process theory" to explain why it's so difficult to tame intruding thoughts …

Thomas Edison's productivity was boosted by napping. Napoleon Bonaparte would nap anywhere he could because he was so busy he didn't know when the next opportunity to rest would present itself. Leonardo Da Vinci took a 15-minute naps every 4 hours and slept less at night. On top of 10 …

It directly influences the content and quality of every moment that you live. We needn't consider ourselves to be religious in order to invite prayer into our lives. In my eyes, prayers of love, gratitude and care are powerful, healing energetic frequencies that do count, and do make a real …

Another subtle culprit: margarine. Stick to real butter, as margarine is high in unhealthy trans-fatty acids, along with coloring additives and emulsifiers. Refined sugars. Avoid foods high in refined sugar, like cookies, most juices, and of course candy. The trouble is they have a detrimental effect on your blood sugar …