By his early thirties, his workaholism and procrastination had put a major strain on his relationships, as well as his mental health. I hadn't dated anybody in a couple of years, he tells me. I couldn't justify traveling anywhere with friends because I was too busy, or I was brand-new …

We might have a grasp on who we are, who we'd like to be, what we'd like to do, and a list of things we wish we either did or didn't do. It feels simple enough, doesn't it? Not every engineer is Isambard Kingdom Brunel, but even if their abilities …

Perhaps you feel kind of sad, but you know you're still fit for work, and while you may have to make some tough calls along the way, it won't be too long before you busy yourself with a new job. The previous two paragraphs were the exact same sequence of …

You can also focus on feeling the breeze in your nostrils. Focus quite deliberately on your face. When you feel secure in yourself, it becomes easier to find happiness on your own terms. Don't trivialize the help. Don't apologize for it, don't say it's only a small thing. You matter …

A quick note before we jump in: Though I'm not a doctor, I afford everyone I talk with a doctor-patient privilege similar to that of a trained therapist or physician. Out of respect for people's privacy and their trust in me, I've changed the names, and some telling biographical details …

But so is excitement. Step Eight: Visualize the Steps Visualizing yourself doing the steps it takes to reach your vision makes you more likely to succeed. Interestingly, research shows that people who visualized themselves studying get better scores than those who simply just visualized getting a positive grade. You can …

The misunderstanding is people think that they must accept the person and get together with the person all over again. I want to tell you that this is not true. Forgiveness does not mean that you must accept the person and start to have the same relationship with that person …

We don't believe in these diets and counting carbs. Without carbs, we lose so many essential nutrients and fiber. Carbs also allow us to feel full. The nutrients in carbohydrates are essential because they provide us with the energy for day-to-day living. They give us our energy to get up …

She feels that she has to be as close to perfect as possible because she doesn't want to get sick again. Can others who don't have a chronic illness still have some flexibility? Consider that heart disease is insidious. One-third of people with heart disease who die suddenly had no …

I know there is a lot to consider: their ages, the setting, the timing, who tells them, and how much to tell. Let me offer four pertinent reasons to disclose to children. Disclosure validates what the children know. Having their unspoken perceptions validated takes away the craziness of knowing but …

Marita is receiving 50-60% more schooling than her old friends in the public school system. Marita will likely advance to a private school in New York City, instead of falling back to the public school system in the South Bronx. Marita will likely attend college and graduate, because most college …

Because the monkeys refuse to let go of the fruit, the tribesman can easily capture the monkeys. The monkeys have, in essence, trapped themselves by holding on too tight. You won't let go of control, and so you become imprisoned mistaking control for security. Image Management Projecting to the world …

It doesn't seem like enough people are really buying into it. The Good Stories Don't Seem To Matter I mean, people buy these stories all the time with their money. Those stadiums are packed with people who need to seize their destiny. Those articles are sold all day long because …

Yet confusion exists about intimacy and commitment, and sexual betrayal abounds in our culture. Most couples, whether married or not, have both spoken and unspoken commitments that sex stays within their relationship; Their expectation is for unconditional love, but they know that relationships have conditions that need to be negotiated …

Back in our little kayak together, talking about our lives, he asks about who Anne and Isaac and I are to one another. He hasn't understood that we're a family. I can feel him trying to figure us out--especially me. He asks questions and I don't mind. We're engaging with …

Our culture has elevated celebrities to godlike status and obsesses over their relationships, style choices, and just about every other aspect of their lives. But it's not just the everyday happenings of the rich and famous that fascinate us. We're also fixated on what's happening with everyone we know. There …

You're just going to start following that app, and eventually it's going to be completely controlling your life, while you have the sensation that you're deciding. Adams and other critics of the self-quantification movement see that our phones, watches, and wearables promise insight, knowledge, and freedom, but what they really …

I gamble because I'm bored. I'm having an affair because I'm bored. I overexercise because I'm bored. I watch pornography because I'm bored. In early human societies, physical prowess was a survival tool. Our ancestors needed to be able to fend off and outrun predators and hunt and kill their …

This type of finding appears to support our clinical and theoretical hypothesis that the individual may deny experiences to awareness without ever having been conscious of them. There is at least a process of subception, a discriminating evaluative physiological organismic response to experience, which may precede the conscious perception of …

We can often sense when people aren't being authentic in the moment. It gets in the way of connection if we can't feel others' presence. As much as I felt used by this new acquaintance, I could relate to her. I don't want to dump on others, yet I do …

For example, I forgot my neighbor's name. My difficulty accepting my mistake kept me mired in self-judgment, condemning me to feel bad rather than to change my behavior. It was only when I accepted my inadequacy that I could consider strategies that allowed me to manage it. Eventually, I found …

For example, Jessie's father had multiple affairs when she was growing up. And she was willing to examine the factors from her present life as well that were also contributing to her carrying on an emotional affair with Steve, like the stressors of being a stay-at-home wife and mother and …

How can you seek out more agency in your day-to-day? HOW WE REACT TO FEAR There are four common reactions to fear: anger, shame, judgment (blame), and dissociation (avoidance). Let's discuss each and explore how we can use them to our advantage. Is there a cause or goal you'd like …

Suppose we asked, what are his purposes in the course, what does he wish to learn, how can we facilitate his learning and his growth? A very different type of education would ensue. An educational program -- whether at the elementary, college, or graduate level -- which had the facilitation of learning …

Make it effective. Look for exercise methods that deliver a combination of strength, stretching, and stamina. That might mean weight training, yoga, and some sort of aerobic activity. Be realistic. The group-centered leader, because he tries to remove the threat of evaluation from group members, accelerates this process. Thus, some …

Iceberg Belief: If someone takes a job, they should do their very best at it (otherwise quit and give it to someone who cares). When It Shows Up: When a waiter or waitress gets my order wrong. It drives me nuts. Ice Breaker: Getting my order wrong doesn't mean they …

Like many people, your resolutions for healthy eating probably vanish as quickly as that warm slice of apple pie a la mode. You eat unhealthy food--or even just overeat good food--without giving it a second thought. Then you're left feeling bloated, guilty, and more stressed than before. This is called …

On the other hand, I use lowercase when referring to white people. This stylistic difference helps to bring attention to the systemic bias that typically centralizes white experiences and invisibilizes the experiences of Black, Brown, Indigenous, and other People of Color. Language is rarely easy, and this decision was made …

What's the one thing I have in my toolbox--however small--that I can use to gain some leverage on this problem? Sadness I've lost something. Have I really lost this thing/person? Guilt I've violated someone else's rights. The third test, Fleming's Sociometric Test, asks the child to name two persons …

It's great when someone listens more than speaks. So, the next time when you have a word to say, speak less but listen more and you will be appreciated by everyone. Verbal communication is very important and we need to continue doing it. However, if your listening skills are good …

Perhaps all this freedom of expression is no service to the child, and even less so to his parents. There are several possible explanations of why dangerous acting out is unlikely to be a problem in this kind of therapy. First of all, the therapist has carefully refrained from praising …

Again, a thirteen-year-old boy is referred for his explosive outbursts of aggression, and for his long-standing torturing (unspecified) of a girl in his class. He inquires about the therapist's first name, which just happens to be the same as that of the tortured girl classmate. From then on, he calls …

If you've ever broken a bone, you know how much pain it can cause. But if you've got a cast on that broken bone, often that pain goes away, or is not as severe when the limb is supported. This is a type of inflammatory tissue pain. In the inflammatory …

I began to move my body, allowing myself to dance before I started my chores at home. In a few days one project that had been sitting for months was finished. By the end of the month I'd even opened a savings account! Action Step Gently expose and begin to …

Wednesday A. There's nothing to say about yesterday's interview -- it was flat, lifeless, almost as if I were doing it because I said I would, but we both understood it was a formality -- the business of dying like a gentleman. Hollow and neutral, and you looked neutral too -- like someone …

Be the one who is not afraid to take a test on' seriousness. It may seem an innovative approach once again, but traditional methods may stifle brilliant ideas and growth. Say what you want To get back to the Social Consensus will persuade us that it's unpolitical to say what …

Though these memories are brief, they enable you to remember an impression of the stimulus in your environment following the ending or disappearance of it. If we attend to this data, the crucial details can then be transferred to the short-term memory. The three main types of sensory memory are …

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; WINSTON CHURCHILL Many of us consider challenges to be obstacles that keep us from the things we want. Those of us who are optimists tend to see the opportunity in those obstacles. In other words, an optimist will always believe that there …

Solomon asked. Well, Michael began, they say if I hang around with people who do bad stuff, I'll do bad stuff too. But that's not true. Besides, this article has powerful psychological techniques that can be used to influence anyone at the manipulator's will. It provides an extensive definition of …