Cognitive learning is about how we think and assess a situation. It may include labeling certain situations as "dangerous" instead of "anxietyprovoking" or "uncomfortable." It also can prime our development of beliefs that not only is our world dangerous, but that our capacity to respond to that danger is inadequate …

For them, a good relationship is one where people leave each other alone. Unfortunately, that's not the whole picture. Life would be much simpler if you only had to deal with only the "I cans." Have you ever heard voices that say the exact opposite and talk you out of …

We sometimes hear about near-death experiences from the news or even from someone we know and trust. These mysterious and powerful experiences usually involve a person being pronounced clinically dead for a few minutes but who is then brought back to life. It is fascinating, and for many of us …

In this case, return to normalcy or homeostasis is linked to getting rid of the stressor--namely, eliminating the lack of approval. Anxiety, on the other hand, is akin to suffering a pinched nerve in the brain's fear-threat system. The pain is real enough, but it's the result of something happening …

How is meditation benefiting you? Make a list of benefits. If you have never practiced meditation before, when do you plan to get started? Are you ready to go to the next level of meditation? If so, what do you plan to practice? Wilton would have a stressful day at …

They asked people with different backgrounds to accurately predict the British economy ten years into the future. Who won? A group of sanitation workers tied for first place with a panel of four chairman of multinational firms.48 Once again, the amount of knowledge we have in a certain area …

Given a choice, would you choose differently? Do you even know what you would choose if you had an option? Are you in touch with this authentic self? Do you "get" what "it" is, or is this just a bunch of psychological talk? Wouldn't it be tragic if a very …

Don't tolerate being absent, late, and not keeping commitments. Don't tolerate dishonorable, disrespectful, and disgraceful behavior. Don't tolerate having a victim mindset. Don't tolerate losing because you didn't strategize, prepare, and make an effort. Don't tolerate excuses, stories, and blame for why a goal wasn't reached and a target wasn't …

They were told that the work that year would be challenging and the pace would be rapid, in keeping with their special gifts. Across the hall, by contrast, the Yellow Birds were told that they would have to work extra hard to keep up with their assignments; that they were …

When the second timer goes off, pause for a moment and ask yourself, "Which situation tasted better?" This is a great way to get a taste of your own medicine (pun intended). By only partially attending to your present experience, you only give yourself a partial opportunity to emotionally benefit …

New information that's consistent with our existing beliefs is quickly accepted at face value. On the other hand, information that contradicts our beliefs is often ignored or critically scrutinized and discounted.4 For example, a team of psychologists had people read summaries of two studies relating to the effectiveness of …

Each neuron has a primary axon, which sends out information to many other neurons, and tens of thousands of branches, called dendrites, which receive information from other neurons. Neurons make contact with one another at points called synapses, and every neuron has from one to ten thousand synapses. As a …

statistics, 60 percent of depression sufferers between the ages of twelve and seventeen fail to get any form of treatment. Of those who do get treatment, only 19 percent receive both psychotherapy and medication. For the rest, almost all receive counseling alone, with only 2 percent receiving some form of …

There is no need for a sense of self. There is only the sweep of tactile and kinesthetic sensation, an endless and ever-changing flood of raw experience. We are learning here to escape into reality, rather than from it. Whatever insights we gain are directly applicable to the rest of …

They can be an ego trap, luring you right off the track. Your best approach is not to place any emphasis on these phenomena. If they come up, that's fine. If they don't, that's fine, too. There is a point in the meditator's career where he or she may practice …

To experience these emotions strongly is to be human. Many times, these emotions prompt you to act in ways that are safe and appropriate. Other times, even if the emotion makes sense, the immediate action urge that follows does not support your best interests in the long term; plus, when …

Traffic jams are not "problems" but you allow them to make you angry and unhappy because you create the "problem" using your thoughts, emotions, and perceptions. People aren't actually THAT stupid, you aren't actually that much of a smarter driver, and your day isn't as bad as you think it …

Request their direct telephone number as well. Now, sometimes you might not get the rep's last name or direct line, but it sets the stage with whomever you're speaking that you are a skilled consumer. To determine what other researchers are saying on this matter, a systematic review identified twelve …

It's either one or the other, but not both. Since you already know where the stories, lying, and excuses have landed you, the only choice left is to move on from them and let them be part of your past. You've told the exaggerated stories so many times that you …

Great work so far! I hope you congratulate yourself for already beginning. In fact, doing something nice for yourself as a thank-you is healthy self-compassion and self-care. You may be asking yourself, If that's the case, then why have I not done this reformulation of self before? I always say …

Remember, in order to be intelligent emotionally, you attach definitions to your different experiences, feelings, and emotions that you have. Consciousness, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence are very important, but where the change happens is in the effort. You can be conscious and have the emotional intelligence and self-awareness that you …

Something unexpected comes up which forces you to change your holiday plans. You think: How am I going to work round this? What are my options? Why does this always happen to me? My plans are all ruined. Someone congratulates you on a piece of work you've done. You say …

If they follow the instructions, they will remember to welcome this thought along with the others, instead of trying to fight it. Something similar applies to people experiencing panic. We have seen that trying to "control" your emotions often backfire. You cannot simply "force yourself" to calm down in the …

On the other hand, although there may have been something you could have done differently, don't overestimate your responsibility. Don't exaggerate and dramatize and make it all about you! Bertie's way of coping with problems was to ignore and avoid them. He was financially and emotionally dependent on his parents …

A folded blanket will do nicely. Don't sit all the way back on the cushion. This position causes its front edge to press into the underside of your thigh, causing nerves to pinch. The result will be leg pain. There are a number of ways you can fold your legs …

In more than a third of the interviews I conducted, the interviewees were out in their backyards or garages, talking quietly on their phones so no one could hear, or they were behind locked doors in their offices. That lonely silence can be a death sentence in the most severe …

The Zeigarnik effect is a social psychology phenomenon that you can use in your favor, as it relies on the observation that we feel a lot more tension when we don't complete things we start. So if you can talk yourself into starting an exercise session because reaching your minimum …

Only lack of effort and self-doubt can stand in your way. Be fearless, and you will accomplish your aims. Expectations begin with the individual. Although it's important to have expectations for others, the most important expectations you have are for yourself. They determine the outcome of a situation before it …

Early on in our practice of meditation, we need to rethink our underlying assumptions regarding conceptualization. For most of us, we have earned high marks in school and in life for our ability to manipulate mental phenomena, or concepts, logically. Our careers, much of our success in everyday life, our …

Instead of will power, "won't power" becomes the rule. Sometimes a procrastinator will engage in a pursuit that has no real value just for the sake of having a substitute activity (such as aimless channel surfing or oversleeping) in order to calm down from the anxiety he feels. He can …

So if something is planned for next month, or the month after, I can really see where it is, and how many days are between now and then. Telling me that something is two months away does not convey useful information to me. I have to see it. I can …

As a result, everyone reacts differently to the events and opportunities they encounter. Being open-minded can help you so much, giving you the chance to learn at every turn in life. You can see what others choose to shut out. Many people fail to discover new things because they think …

You might be aware of the movement of the ribs as you breathe in and out or the movement of the belly, rising with each in-breath and releasing with each out-breath. Taking these next few moments to bring your attention to where you best sense the physical sensations and rhythm …

If you cannot do that, people will grow bored and walk away. Remember, they're going to ask "what's in this for me" and it's your job to show them as quickly as possible. So, when you meet, you should treat them like old friends - buddies that can rely on each …

97% of us are borrowing money to create the illusion of having money and only 3% of us actually have money and own what it looks like we own. We think of debt-free as some kind of wonderful accomplishment when it's actually what normal is supposed to look like! Of …

If you are halfway through the scariest horror novel you ever read, your meditation is going to be full of monsters. So switch the order of events. Do your meditation first. Then read or go to the movies. Accept that anger, guilt, and fear may be making you ill (emotionally …

Putting it in writing - an email, text or handwritten note - shows even more effort on your part while also giving the person a permanent reminder of the praise. Make a positive comment on a website or blog. The next time you read something that encourages or motivates you, let the …

It feels bad, but the positive intention of that pain is to protect you. It's the same with emotional pain; it can prompt you to take positive action. What about a difficult emotion such as regret? How can that be positive? The positive intent of regret is to prompt you …

But, if we don't realize there is a problem to be solved or if we grow close minded against potential solutions, things can get a little messy. It's a pretty cool phenomenon if you think about it, but most people don't think about it and few of us ever take …

You hit the button to switch to full screen. And you sit back for "just one more." This is the moment when you choose to keep watching TV instead of going to sleep at your bedtime, procrastinating on a goal behavior because it seems optional. What are the consequences? Right …