Rarely if ever admit that they are wrong

AIWATT isn't a universal panacea for all our interpersonal problems. I've given it prominence here because it has a specific utility. It's a reminder that our environment tempts us many times a day to engage in pointless skirmishes. And we can do something about it - by doing nothing. Like closing …

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Let yourself be exploited by others

We built a fire. Drank beer. And told the story of the day over and over again to ourselves--embroidering liberally as we went. First, I insisted that the group hear my version, which stressed the inevitability of the event--given Seth's moodiness and the probability that he was still wrecked from …

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Inhabiting the body

If you have an informing preference, and need to get someone to do something, you can use a blended statement (one which combines information with direction) to ensure that they know what you want done: We need to know what's agreed, so please do the minutes. <a href='http://circle …

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The overcompensation syndrome

This included no fewer than two sets of twins--of which, of course, my sister Sandy and I were one. I have two younger sisters, who are also twins. And an older brother. So: our mother was only intermittently responsive. Of course your mother was intermittently available, you might respond quite …

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Starving for intimacy

Once I realized that listening to my inner voice had the ability to propel me just as much as it had the power to restrict me, I started taking notes. Literally, I started writing down my negative thoughts. Putting them on paper made me recognize how much I was listening …

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Spirituality and anxiety

She kept her eyes opened, watching above the sea of heads, to see what the master was doing. Suddenly the Master looked directly at her and pointed to the location of the third eye between his eyebrows, a very clear instruction for her to close her eyes and focus there …

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My anxious spirit

Observe how you are doing the act itself. Now, slow it down. Breathe in that air a bit deeper, and use your full lung capacity like it's meant to be used. Become aware of the correlation between your breath and your mind. Notice how when your breaths are slow and …

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You're making me crazy

Objectively reviewing accusations made about us during an encounter is another path for self-discovery. The older adults used both left and right hippocampi in the tasks, whereas the younger adults used primarily their left. These findings are consistent with those from studies of other brain regions showing greater use of …

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Everyone makes mistakes

If you can't manage three minutes, just feel three breaths before diving in. Between activities. Resting between your daily activities, even for just a few moments, is very nourishing. Feeling your breath and renewing yourself is very pleasant. Research has found that just three mindful breaths can change your body's …

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You do not have to justify yourself to others

You spend ninety minutes in what should have been a forty-five-minute meeting and leave with your energy flagging and frustrated. The next time you attend a staff or committee meeting, request the opportunity to lead an exercise aimed at making meetings more productive and less draining. Tell the group you …

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Don't normalize stress

Able to run 14 apps at a time and effortlessly switch between each without breaking a sweat. Able to do several projects at a time with ease. You're able to keep going on a project (if it's interesting, ADDers are more into creative and entrepreneurial activities than clerical and repetitive …

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When things get hard

I do. Interestingly, Dotty notes that she has also become less critical of other people and she is getting along better with some of them, not just with her husband. Therapy can produce some wonderful results. Flare-ups are a normal part of life for those with persistent pain. Many flare-ups …

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Your gut knows best

In the 1960s, my dad was an astute businessman, entrepreneur, and an avid runner. As a preteen, I can recall many times I'd joined him as he ran around the lake in Denver, Colorado. Being so young and not really understanding the health benefits of running, one day I asked …

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The confidence machine

As you are putting your plan into action, making new choices that will empower you to handle stress better, there will be days when you fall back into old habits. Whether you binge on comfort food, say yes to too many commitments, stay up half the night watching mindless TV …

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Do i feel there simply is not enough time?

The concept is straightforward and the salience great. Our brains are physiologically organized to react through the neurotransmitters and neural circuits that chemically and electrically drive mental operations, including how we feel and think. The stronger the stimulus, in the form of a powerful exogenous substance, the bigger the neural …

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Honest empathy

Taking a walk in nature is an escape that is good for your body, your emotions, and your brain. Watching a favorite comedy is another escape that won't complicate your life or add to your stress after the credits roll. Finally, you can cultivate healthy habits that you can practice …

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Stuck and getting unstuck

When the BBC reported on her story in July 2016 she was six months' pregnant. Our main system of trade is money. If you don't like it and can't change it, then learn how to better understand it and get better at it. Jim Rohn said, "I used to say …

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If you miss sleep, you can get it back

Research has shown that CBT alone is at least as effective as antidepressant medication at treating less severe forms of depression, but it is usually recommended in combination with drugs for people experiencing more severe symptoms. Once more, it's clear that CBT has an important role to play, but used …

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Rushed and pressured

While it's hard to say how common SAD really is, Rosenthal reported in his book that fourteen million American suffer from SAD while another fourteen million suffer from a milder form known as the "winter blues." Let me ask you one question: Are you satisfied or dissatisfied with your freedom …

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Do you lose your temper quickly?

According to Jill Perry-Smith at Emory University's Goizueta Business School, while strong social ties have a neutral effect, weak ties bolster one's individual creativity. It is not entirely clear why this happens, but according to Perry-Smith, empirical evidence suggests that weak ties facilitate "the generation of alternatives and encourage autonomous …

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Don't trust apps to find you love

Every evil deed, every example of heartlessness in the world, stems directly from this false sense of "me" as distinct from everything else. If you explode the illusion of that one concept, your whole universe changes. Don't expect to be able to do this overnight, though. You spent your whole …

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Emotional outbursts and over-reactions

Like Lucille Ball working in the chocolate factory in the classic episode of I Love Lucy, office workers can experience job strain from emails or assignments rushing by like unwrapped chocolates zooming along a conveyor belt. The second factor that correlates with workplace depression is an environment with an "effort-reward …

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Keep your daily actions simple

I'll tell you about the whole system later, but right now let's focus on the red card. It has the major things to do that I'm working on right now. Like the appointment book, it is always with me. These to-do's are the major, non-routine things that really need to …

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Mind your language

Good health starts in the gut. Yes, your gut is the CEO of your entire body. Your gut gets pissed off when you don't feed it the proper nutrients; eat foods that you are allergic to or can't tolerate well; and unknowingly or knowingly feed it foods that are laced …

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Imagining feeling warm and heavy

However, I want to stress that regardless of your age, it's never too late to start. Numerous studies have shown that changing lifestyle habits in terms of diet and exercise, along with quitting smoking, have significant benefits as you grow older, even if you are already getting your AARP card …

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Do you find it hard to say `no'

Growing up, my sisters and I were constantly clamoring for who was speaking and being listened to--we even had hand signals that indicated, "Spotlight is on me! Don't steal my turn yet!" We all have those acquaintances, friends, or coworkers who don't know how to listen and instead start talking …

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The main types of personality disorder

Many supplement types have no real effect (besides as a placebo), because the strains don't ever make it past your stomach acid. This is why it's critical to rely on good research and, ideally, to work with professionals. They will help you determine precisely which strains you might need and …

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